Jack Monroe #203 Found a packet of pork mince

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As I've said before, you can make 5 portions of cheap bolognase for about £3.50 if you use tinned mince and tinned mushrooms. Two large jacket potatoes and a large tin of beans is about £1.50 (cheese is annoyingly expensive if you're that level of skint, which I should point out I've never been¹). You can make a Sunday lunch for two people for about a fiver, too.

Jack's recipes always seem overly complicated to me, honestly. Even when they are actually, theoretically, cheap.

¹See, it's not difficult to admit you've never been properly poor!

I did dinner on Sunday as Mr D was stuck behind some unfortunate train spotting cows in Deepest Sussex. Once he messaged to say the passengers had been kicked out onto the track and were walking back to the nearest station, I nipped out to the Co-op so there would be food hot and waiting for his return, whenever that was.

Whole chicken £3.75
Pack of new potatoes with herb butter £1 (couldn't be arsed to buy the cheapest because I didn't know when he'd finally get back from Cowmaggeddon)
Pack of green beans £1
Cucumber 62p
Cherry tomatoes 85p
Celery 65p
Spring onions 25p reduced to clear

And these were already in the fridge

Mayonnaise £2
Jar of Massaman paste £2
Loaf of gluten free bread £2
Sushi rice £1.70
Packet of streaky bacon £2.75
6 avocados from the market, pound a bowl £1


Chicken went into the slow cooker, breast to the base, veg went into the microwave when he finally crawled through the front door just before midnight.

So far, the chicken has done 2 Sunday dinners (used half the beans), a chicken salad sandwich each, two main meal chicken salads with the addition of cucumber, cherry tomatoes , celery, Spring Onions and a blob of mayonnaise, and will also do a quick curry for two using a bit of a jar of Massaman paste, more of the tomatoes, the rest of the beans and some rice. And then there's the final knockings and bones with which to make chicken & celery soup (or miso soup depending upon what I fancy at the time - can chuck in some frozen peas and another spring onion, plus there's some dried sea vegetables in the cupboard) for tomorrow. We've also had bacon on avocado toast (half the bacon and five avocadoes left) for a proper brunch as we did a hospital trip this morning (should have gone to see the Big Bee, but decided we didn't want to risk getting delayed by the Extinction Rebellion protests).

This means that for an initial outlay of £19.57, we've had 12 good meals, have enough for another 2 without even needing to leave the house, and, what's most important, have had food full of nutrition - protein, good fats, carbohydrates, vitamins and minerals - it tasted great AND all for an average of £1.40 per meal. Whilst the headline price of chicken, beans and potatoes was indeed over a fiver, what actually came out of that purchase was the means to eat well for a significantly greater number of meals than the two. Oh, and the cats have had a treat as well - I wouldn't have got away with chicken for three days and refusing them even a taste.


If you don't fanny about with the basic ingredients, you can make good, nutritious and pleasurable food without bleeping it up. Staples with seasonings and flavourings are all you need, not adding 17 different things to it because more is always better. It's not about trying to imitate the worst excesses of the Western Diet and being all aspirational about it whilst you've blatantly made puke on a plate for just 4p a teaspoon size portion, it's about looking at what poor people worldwide do with what they have, how it lasts for more than one meal, how it tastes and how it still manages to look aesthetically pleasing in the process.


Bah. I suppose this is the difference - I like food. I like cooking and I like eating. I like feeling physically and emotionally well. I like taste and texture and variety. It's not something I want to mindlessly shovel down or conspicuously refuse or push around my plate because I get more attention that way. I think food is, to JM, something to be endured, not enjoyed - and the animalistic behaviour she describes is when her instinct to eat takes over from her wish to be very smol, but she resents that and makes the shittiest food possible to reduce the likelihood of that happening; when she isn't blatantly lying about eating it in the first place.
 
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Does the gloopy stuff act as a thickener or something? Trying to remember from Bake Off when they used the bean water for something vegan based they were making,
The gloopy stuff is just water the beans have cooked in in the tin, and I presume some starch and protein that have come out of the beans themselves
 
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I concur with everyone who tried making the 9p bean burgers. We all dutifully ate them up but they fell apart and were bland.
 
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Aquafaba is really good. It stinks but I've made vegan meringues, macaroons, royal icing and biscuits that are normally heavy on egg whites. Overall I find it works best as an egg white replacer. The smell bakes off and you can't taste it afterwards.
 
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I hate that I always disagree with her around recovery because I don’t want to be like a guard to it at all, just personally think perpetuating this myth of the functioning versus “non functioning” actually only serves to enable people’s denial. You can have a solidly aspirational middle class lifestyle and have a serious addiction problem that renders you miserable, is that really functioning? Is it all okay as long as you’re in a detached house like what does functioning mean? Such a small % of addicts will find themselves in a state where they cease to be able to execute any part of a normal life (eg work, house) that I think it keeps a lot of people who could benefit from recovery out of it.

Jack’s dubious origin story also perpetuates this with her horrid stories about hissing at interns, calling people up on mat leave and starting rows with her partner. It weirdly made me feel shame for having shared so candidly here because I’d hope no one thinks we were all like this - ime you’re more likely to encounter serious depression & anxiety problems with low self esteem than that.
 
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I hate that I always disagree with her around recovery because I don’t want to be like a guard to it at all, just personally think perpetuating this myth of the functioning versus “non functioning” actually only serves to enable people’s denial. You can have a solidly aspirational middle class lifestyle and have a serious addiction problem that renders you miserable, is that really functioning? Is it all okay as long as you’re in a detached house like what does functioning mean? Such a small % of addicts will find themselves in a state where they cease to be able to execute any part of a normal life (eg work, house) that I think it keeps a lot of people who could benefit from recovery out of it.

Jack’s dubious origin story also perpetuates this with her horrid stories about hissing at interns, calling people up on mat leave and starting rows with her partner. It weirdly made me feel shame for having shared so candidly here because I’d hope no one thinks we were all like this - ime you’re more likely to encounter serious depression & anxiety problems with low self esteem than that.
Yes, THIS. In true Jack fashion she fails to interrogate the fact that the phrase “functioning alcoholic” simply means “continues to go to work to serve as a cog in the capitalist machine”.

I’m not in recovery but a close colleague of mine is and she was in an absolute state: dysfunctional, co-dependant relationship, didn’t see her daughter, very chaotic. But she always made it to work no matter what and had a house in a nice part of town. Functioning is a sinister commentary on how we view humans and their labour as a resource or a data point.

Of course, despite the blather, Mx. Monroe has never in her life had the insight to understand this, obsessed as she is with Smegs and Cotswolds and forever hydrangeas. Brand-consciousness > class-consciousness.
 
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meirangues
Yes, THIS. In true Jack fashion she fails to interrogate the fact that the phrase “functioning alcoholic” simply means “continues to go to work to serve as a cog in the capitalist machine”.

I’m not in recovery but a close colleague of mine is and she was in an absolute state: dysfunctional, co-dependant relationship, didn’t see her daughter, very chaotic. But she always made it to work no matter what and had a house in a nice part of town. Functioning is a sinister commentary on how we view humans and their labour as a resource or a data point.

Of course, despite the blather, Mx. Monroe has never in her life had the insight to understand this, obsessed as she is with Smegs and Cotswolds and forever hydrangeas. Brand-consciousness > class-consciousness.
She doesn’t understand as she doesn’t have a job, twatting on twitter is not functioning
 
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Another kidney bean burgers fail here. They fell apart in the pan and were bland. I have made a few of the recipes from Jack's first book and some of them are okay (I subscribe to the theory that many are cribbed from BBC Good Food). But this one had nothing to recommend it.
 
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I hate that I always disagree with her around recovery because I don’t want to be like a guard to it at all, just personally think perpetuating this myth of the functioning versus “non functioning” actually only serves to enable people’s denial. You can have a solidly aspirational middle class lifestyle and have a serious addiction problem that renders you miserable, is that really functioning? Is it all okay as long as you’re in a detached house like what does functioning mean? Such a small % of addicts will find themselves in a state where they cease to be able to execute any part of a normal life (eg work, house) that I think it keeps a lot of people who could benefit from recovery out of it.

Jack’s dubious origin story also perpetuates this with her horrid stories about hissing at interns, calling people up on mat leave and starting rows with her partner. It weirdly made me feel shame for having shared so candidly here because I’d hope no one thinks we were all like this - ime you’re more likely to encounter serious depression & anxiety problems with low self esteem than that.
Thank you - this is a far more articulate version of what I wanted to say.
Mine included a lot of expletives about using triggering words like functioning. What is functioning? It always feels to me to be a justification - I might drink a lot but I am functioning because I have a job so it's not actually a problem. That was certainly how members of my family (parent, aunts, uncles) thought about alcoholism. It's a touchy subject, so thanks Here for being so concise and compassionate in your reply
 
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Thank you - this is a far more articulate version of what I wanted to say.
Mine included a lot of expletives about using triggering words like functioning. What is functioning? It always feels to me to be a justification - I might drink a lot but I am functioning because I have a job so it's not actually a problem. That was certainly how members of my family (parent, aunts, uncles) thought about alcoholism. It's a touchy subject, so thanks Here for being so concise and compassionate in your reply
Oh bless, tbh I think Goat’s reply is 🔥 and exactly it, just nodded along throughout!

Have thought about whether my comment was unfair on her. Like I was definitely oblivious to my problem because I was young and doing well and everyone goes out and binge drinks so it’s fine so maybe there is value in pointing out to the middle classes that they too could have a problem, it’s not just for the people they look down on, but Jack’s claiming over 5 years sober time so you’d think would have more nuanced takes on such things? Like actual commentary to go around it rather than sharing anything she sees in a moment she wants/needs attention or Patreon subs? Similarly she’s a campaigner, where’s the brilliant class analysis as Goat served us up? It’s just so GCSE (no 4.5 reference intended)
 
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Oh bless, tbh I think Goat’s reply is 🔥 and exactly it, just nodded along throughout!

Have thought about whether my comment was unfair on her. Like I was definitely oblivious to my problem because I was young and doing well and everyone goes out and binge drinks so it’s fine so maybe there is value in pointing out to the middle classes that they too could have a problem, it’s not just for the people they look down on, but Jack’s claiming over 5 years sober time so you’d think would have more nuanced takes on such things? Like actual commentary to go around it rather than sharing anything she sees in a moment she wants/needs attention or Patreon subs? Similarly she’s a campaigner, where’s the brilliant class analysis as Goat served us up? It’s just so GCSE (no 4.5 reference intended)
She's not interested in any of it, I'm sure she's just put that article there because it mentions 'day habs' and she's breadcrumbing about her stay at the aparthotel. The idiotic thing about that is that day habs are primarily so that people don't have to spend the extra on the residential rehab.
 
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I don't know how sobriety works but surely she can't be five years sober now if she said at the end of last year she'd slipped up and had a drink, don't you re-start the clock if that happens? Maybe it depends on whether the sober part was a lie or the drink part was a lie. I don't know, I don't lie either🤷‍♀️

Dear hearts it is a blessed day, my Tattleversary! That is why I am wearing this very fetching hat. Thankyou x to the cabal for a year of lols and scathing essays, now duck off.
 
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I don't know how sobriety works but surely she can't be five years sober now if she said at the end of last year she'd slipped up and had a drink, don't you re-start the clock if that happens? Maybe it depends on whether the sober part was a lie or the drink part was a lie. I don't know, I don't lie either🤷‍♀️

Dear hearts it is a blessed day, my Tattleversary! That is why I am wearing this very fetching hat. Thankyou x to the cabal for a year of lols and scathing essays, now duck off.
Also all the kombucha etc
 
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I don't know how sobriety works but surely she can't be five years sober now if she said at the end of last year she'd slipped up and had a drink, don't you re-start the clock if that happens? Maybe it depends on whether the sober part was a lie or the drink part was a lie. I don't know, I don't lie either🤷‍♀️

Dear hearts it is a blessed day, my Tattleversary! That is why I am wearing this very fetching hat. Thankyou x to the cabal for a year of lols and scathing essays, now duck off.
Love the hat, TS!
 
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I was in Marks and Sparks yesterday armed with a gift card and - in between wondering why every single person in there looked exactly like my mother - noticed their tins of various stews etc can be as much as £3. Now I'm aware these are not aimed at The Poors, but if I were a Tweeting woman I'd punt that info Jack's way cos I bet she'd run with it.

Also what demographic is her audience? All my genuinely skint friends have learned to make do, I lived on £30 a week at uni (and a loooooot of that was earmarked for 3l bottles of cider named after various livestock or weather phenomena) but the food never consistently looked brown unless I decided to buy weed and raid the frozen section at Lidl instead. And obviously anyone who isn't looking to cut costs wouldn't be interested, and anyone who is but can cook would surely look elsewhere?

So I'm assuming a lot of her stuff attracts skint people who think they're gonna get some variety and play at being a bit Nigella on a budget and instead they try one recipe with its actively unappetising writing and then they eventually end up here.
 
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Hold on, it's not 5 years sober is it? I think she only wrote that thing for the Guardian saying she had stopped drinking in 2019?
 
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I’m so horrified that she tipped the tinned beans straight in and didn’t drain them. Whhhhy? You’re supposed to bloody drain them. If your dish needs to have water added, then add fresh water, not gloopy can water + whatever preservatives they add.
Doesn't drain the kidney beans, but willing to rinse baked beans....

Jack is such a maverick!
 
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I did dinner on Sunday as Mr D was stuck behind some unfortunate train spotting cows in Deepest Sussex. Once he messaged to say the passengers had been kicked out onto the track and were walking back to the nearest station, I nipped out to the Co-op so there would be food hot and waiting for his return, whenever that was.

Whole chicken £3.75
Pack of new potatoes with herb butter £1 (couldn't be arsed to buy the cheapest because I didn't know when he'd finally get back from Cowmaggeddon)
Pack of green beans £1
Cucumber 62p
Cherry tomatoes 85p
Celery 65p
Spring onions 25p reduced to clear

And these were already in the fridge

Mayonnaise £2
Jar of Massaman paste £2
Loaf of gluten free bread £2
Sushi rice £1.70
Packet of streaky bacon £2.75
6 avocados from the market, pound a bowl £1


Chicken went into the slow cooker, breast to the base, veg went into the microwave when he finally crawled through the front door just before midnight.

So far, the chicken has done 2 Sunday dinners (used half the beans), a chicken salad sandwich each, two main meal chicken salads with the addition of cucumber, cherry tomatoes , celery, Spring Onions and a blob of mayonnaise, and will also do a quick curry for two using a bit of a jar of Massaman paste, more of the tomatoes, the rest of the beans and some rice. And then there's the final knockings and bones with which to make chicken & celery soup (or miso soup depending upon what I fancy at the time - can chuck in some frozen peas and another spring onion, plus there's some dried sea vegetables in the cupboard) for tomorrow. We've also had bacon on avocado toast (half the bacon and five avocadoes left) for a proper brunch as we did a hospital trip this morning (should have gone to see the Big Bee, but decided we didn't want to risk getting delayed by the Extinction Rebellion protests).

This means that for an initial outlay of £19.57, we've had 12 good meals, have enough for another 2 without even needing to leave the house, and, what's most important, have had food full of nutrition - protein, good fats, carbohydrates, vitamins and minerals - it tasted great AND all for an average of £1.40 per meal. Whilst the headline price of chicken, beans and potatoes was indeed over a fiver, what actually came out of that purchase was the means to eat well for a significantly greater number of meals than the two. Oh, and the cats have had a treat as well - I wouldn't have got away with chicken for three days and refusing them even a taste.


If you don't fanny about with the basic ingredients, you can make good, nutritious and pleasurable food without bleeping it up. Staples with seasonings and flavourings are all you need, not adding 17 different things to it because more is always better. It's not about trying to imitate the worst excesses of the Western Diet and being all aspirational about it whilst you've blatantly made puke on a plate for just 4p a teaspoon size portion, it's about looking at what poor people worldwide do with what they have, how it lasts for more than one meal, how it tastes and how it still manages to look aesthetically pleasing in the process.


Bah. I suppose this is the difference - I like food. I like cooking and I like eating. I like feeling physically and emotionally well. I like taste and texture and variety. It's not something I want to mindlessly shovel down or conspicuously refuse or push around my plate because I get more attention that way. I think food is, to JM, something to be endured, not enjoyed - and the animalistic behaviour she describes is when her instinct to eat takes over from her wish to be very smol, but she resents that and makes the shittiest food possible to reduce the likelihood of that happening; when she isn't blatantly lying about eating it in the first place.
I love this.

Set up a patreon and I’ll fund you for the three freezers, state of the art pizza oven and dozen Cotswolds you’ll need to be a professional food writer.

This is being economical with food! Not flinging a load of random ingredients together. Give it a try Jack.
 
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