She claims that one tin of economy kidney beans, a small onion and a carrot make 6 'good size' burgers!
Just adding, on relection, by good size, does she mean as much as anyone can stomach?
I know lots of functioning alcoholics as acquaintances. One is good friends with my partner, he has a very good job,. But hits the bottle or can as soon as he logs off from work. Hes usually asleep by about 8 pm every night so hes up and ready for work every morning. ( Currently works from home)Yes, THIS. In true Jack fashion she fails to interrogate the fact that the phrase “functioning alcoholic” simply means “continues to go to work to serve as a cog in the capitalist machine”.
I’m not in recovery but a close colleague of mine is and she was in an absolute state: dysfunctional, co-dependant relationship, didn’t see her daughter, very chaotic. But she always made it to work no matter what and had a house in a nice part of town. Functioning is a sinister commentary on how we view humans and their labour as a resource or a data point.
Of course, despite the blather, Mx. Monroe has never in her life had the insight to understand this, obsessed as she is with Smegs and Cotswolds and forever hydrangeas. Brand-consciousness > class-consciousness.
Happy birthday dear heart, we won’t tell mention what you’ve got to do to get a cake in Jackie world…I don't know how sobriety works but surely she can't be five years sober now if she said at the end of last year she'd slipped up and had a drink, don't you re-start the clock if that happens? Maybe it depends on whether the sober part was a lie or the drink part was a lie. I don't know, I don't lie either
Dear hearts it is a blessed day, my Tattleversary! That is why I am wearing this very fetching hat. Thankyou x to the cabal for a year of lols and scathing essays, now fuck off.
Trigger warning - reference to her comment on a child’s deathHold on, it's not 5 years sober is it? I think she only wrote that thing for the Guardian saying she had stopped drinking in 2019?
Happy tattle birthday Sidey T! Bringing this festive Fack classic back in your honour...Enjoy!I don't know how sobriety works but surely she can't be five years sober now if she said at the end of last year she'd slipped up and had a drink, don't you re-start the clock if that happens? Maybe it depends on whether the sober part was a lie or the drink part was a lie. I don't know, I don't lie either
Dear hearts it is a blessed day, my Tattleversary! That is why I am wearing this very fetching hat. Thankyou x to the cabal for a year of lols and scathing essays, now fuck off.
It looks like a Victorian toilet with a massive haunted shit.Sorry lads, I forgot. It’s been ages.
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Oh lord, I'd blocked this monstrosity out. Her custard looks diseased! (Happy tattle birthday Sidey T!)Happy tattle birthday Sidey T! Bringing this festive Fack classic back in your honour...Enjoy!
It looks and sounds like a Dalek after a house fireHappy tattle birthday Sidey T! Bringing this festive Fack classic back in your honour...Enjoy!
It‘s soHappy tattle birthday Sidey T! Bringing this festive Fack classic back in your honour...Enjoy!
Any time it appears I have to have it on with the volume cranked right up to get the full effect - never fails to tickle me!I forgot the denomic noise of that video. Genuinely sounded possessed.
Just beautifully descriptiveIt looks like a Dalek after a house fire
If you listen to it backwards it says “she left”.I forgot the denomic noise of that video. Genuinely sounded possessed.
I love this.
Set up a patreon and I’ll fund you for the three freezers, state of the art pizza oven and dozen Cotswolds you’ll need to be a professional food writer.
This is being economical with food! Not flinging a load of random ingredients together. Give it a try Jack.
Correction: Her coolinary peak.Add me to the list of ninnies who attempted the kidney bean burgers once upon a time. From memory, they were edible but I'd never make them again. Overpowering taste of cumin, fell apart in the pan, and a lot of faff/mess to make something inferior to any supermarket own brand.
It's astonishing that this was probably her culinary peak.
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