Jack Monroe #200 Yes you can freeze glass jars

[ThunderClapForCapers]

It brought it home how shit she must have been at her fire service job.. can you imagine calling up in an emergency only to have the operator talking at you at 100 miles an hour in a nasal whine, sounding like they were on the verge of bursting into tears?

I wonder if examples of Jack's call handling skills are used on courses that Essex Fire Service run in the same way that Hellmann's use her IG Live posts?

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Does anyone else ever just be going about their daily business and then all of a sudden Jack's smoothie breakfast bowl phase pops into the forefront of your mind and you come-to a while later, rocking back and forth in the corner, sweating?

 

[Alansbigplate]

Batten the hatches ninnies, somebody all up in her niche, stealing her life’s work etc etc howling and clawing will commence in 3-2-1

Brooklyn Beckham 'in talks to host an online cookery series'

Brooklyn Beckham, 22, is reportedly in talks with YouTube and Facebook about creating an online cookery series. Brooklyn takes after his superstar dad David Beckham - who is known to be a foodie.

www.dailymail.co.uk

He does my box in literally just films himself putting ready made burgers on a griddle and pouring a jar of sauce in a pan the little idiot

 

[Veronicaaa]

“I’m an adult and can make that decision and stick to it all by myself” In other words “I’m not being forced to give over my phone tattle ninnies’”

Yeah, that bit makes sense to *us*, but the rest of her followers will be like 'eh???'
Also those look like nice sun dried tomatoes. FAAAAAAANCY!!

 

[Veronicaaa]

Her last post on insta was a mere 6 days ago so I'm fairly sure no one will have noticed her 'break'.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Seeing everyone in their bekumquatted glory today is bringing me tears of joy. I cry, I die.

Here you go @Raver_Bear you're simply ravishing, dear heart.

And of course, old chief always liked kumquats on a bird @Traazers

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Praying after the last year of fuck ups she just fades into obscurity tbh so no one has to eat her offensive shit food. Anyway a refresher on her google trends, search term Jack Monroe / UK / last 12 months shows us:

Downward trending search volume

Tattle 2.4 times as searched for as her recipes

lol you guys

None of this suggests she’s a commercially viable “talent” to coin her own ~celeb parlance~

 

[Alansbigplate]

This just must be mackie, Matt of the forearms and that man! Pleeeeze?

 

[lilamay]

Just thinking about my Frau Favourites, when we go off piste without any input from the smol pixie, and they are:

1. Which item of crockery does Jack look like?

2. That's a mole!

3. Kumquat hair

4. Musicals

If I was being Jack on any social media platform, I would then say:

"Hey guys, what are your favourite moments?" ...in a desperate attempt to raise my engagement

To add: the Lady Di-inspired poems!

I think it's time the original was reposted:

 

[Veronicaaa]

Christ, she's still at it.

 

[Marj24]

To add: the Lady Di-inspired poems!

I think it's time the original was reposted:

View attachment 690546

A bit like this

Adrian Mole aged 13 and 3/4!

 

[Boyo]

Yeah

I thought social media was the love of her life.

Yeah, the ‘four foot love of my life with holiday hair’ is just a massive smartphone with one of our orange wigs on top.

 

[Veronicaaa]

She chats so much SHITE it's unbelievable. Everything that comes out her mouth / onto her keyboard is just complete bollocks and LIES.

 

[Veronicaaa]

It doesn't really matter that you've blurred him out, Jack, when you're still using him for social media #content.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Alan I've really missed you

 

[HotesTilaire]

Spoiler: Me rail

I already have some weird issues about what will happen just before I die and now I’m concerned that I’m going to blurt out “Sloup”

 

[Pocahontas]

Jude Law on the telly box. Seeing as he’s one of the thread mascots, I couldn’t resist.

Now he needs to sit the fuck down.

 

[MancBee]

Imagining the (non existent) court case - after printing off all of the reams of gifs and Alan’s masterpieces there will also be pages of Miss Hydrangea kumquating us all - you can hear the wailing (and clawing at a floor) now ‘they’re all adding my hair to their pictures!’ while the judge is silently hooting at the comedy gold.

Do you know what I don't understand? (well there's loads, but this in particular) How anyone can come here and read the hilarious contributions to these threads, see all the receipts, see all the inconsistencies and inaccuracies in Jack's stories, but still go on to defend her. And yet people do! And they then go on to call us bullies, when all we are doing is pointing out the truth!

Incredible, isn't it?

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

She also just can't help but demonstrate her complete ignorance with everything she writes. She seems to think you *boil* normal mulled wine?? And that it's reduced in alcohol because of that??

Imagine when she finds out you don’t need to boil every food you eat, alongside finding out what a kWh is this’ll be the year she manages to get those energy bills right down without unscrewing a single bulb!

I don’t want to be an AA bore so sorry. But is she suggesting mulled wine is close to being AF there? Why does she spend so long trying to go down the back roads trying to obtain “AF” drinks? It’s so fucking weird, like very very peculiar behaviour that I can only imagine is intended to mislead or trigger people reading her because I don’t believe she’s in recovery tbh, it was a convenient excuse for being vile about a grieving family.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

She’s half-Cypriot at best (and yes, I am splitting hairs because Greece and Cyprus are two different countries!)

Her grandad married an English (Tory) woman so her dad is half Cypriot, not her.

I get cultural identity isn’t just fractions of being but does Thorpe Bay even have a Greek/Cypriot community? Idk why the parents don’t have a word, as mother to a third gen baby I’d be mortified if she used her (actually DEAD!) grandads’ identities as a means of scoring marginalised points and nothing else…