Jack Monroe #200 Yes you can freeze glass jars

[Mel Donte]

Slop right now, thank you very much
I need somebody with a vegan touch
Hey Jack, always on the run,
Gotta slop it up baby, can't have no solids

Obviously Ginger Spice Jack is well documented with the kumquat hairdo lots of cabal members are modelling. Then there's:
(How dare you, my family aren't) Posh Spice Jack
(Ripped a radiator off the wall whilst labouring with my) Baby Spice Jack
(Own multiple pairs of high end leggings and trainers despite not being) Sporty Spice Jack
(Not sure what's in the slow cooker but it's looking quite) Scary Spice Jack


All Spices are interchangeable, obviously.

 

[Blurp]

How can she speak with such contempt about people she supposedly loves?

Don't be silly, the only true love Jack has is for herself.

 

[Switchstreetz]

Is that LJC that Jack is claiming can't peel a tater nor understand how food is cooked? Someone who worked hard and has a successful career, that LJC? The one who ran for the bleeping hills than stay with a mithering ninny who gets their kicks belittling their partner publicly? Her, yeah?!

Talking about LJC (and poor SB but I'm choosing to believe he was actually at his dad's because the alternative is too depressing) like they sit on their arse taking advantage of Jack waiting on them hand and foot when we know from her previous tweets it was often quite the opposite.

Some of her tweets felt like they were straight from one of those misogynistic "pick up artist" guides to getting women - I remember those men often saying that belittling women ('negging') will get them to stay with you because they won't have the self confidence to leave

I hope whatevers gone on LJC is ok, she may be a Tory type a la kuenssberg for all I know about her, but she never deserved the way she was portrayed in the tweets.


ETA I was feeling rather angry at that blithering mendacious ninny till I saw @Blurp 's profile picture the kumquat photos are never getting old

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

How can someone duck up roast potatoes so many times HOW HOW HOW

 

[Arsov Cooper]

Where’s @Arsov Cooper if anyone would suit a Viv wig, it’s them!

If you hadn't already guessed, my middle name is Latetotheparty. Thought I might get away with having the appropriate tinge. Apparently not. Frauen und Herren, happy 200th.

Porridge ( made with lots of water so thin, no sugar or anything)

Bung it in the oven, it'll thicken up. Maybe add something from a horse.

 

[Marj24]

Having seen the micro-managing texts LJC shared that Jack sent her when she was supposed to be making the infamous Chickpea curry, I fully understand if Louisa has now permanently declined to cook for Jack.

 

[Lanie]

How can she speak with such contempt about people she supposedly loves?

The only person she loves is herself. Its the only person she holds with any regard. The others may get alittle affection but to me it feels like it has to be earned.

*Pick up your socks* arent you good.

*Not throwing your slop in the bin* arent they wonderful.

 

[Arsov Cooper]

It really was peak schrodinger that dinner. Everything was burnt yet uncooked.

Peak Schrodinger! Top notch.
Years ago I used to hang out on a motorcycle forum and someone mentioned their cat. Someone else mentioned Schrodinger and that was when we discovered that we had some physicists in the house. It went very crazy, very quickly.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Spoiler: Shamelessly O/T - send froggos

 

[Powershower]

From an interview about ‘Good for Bad…..’ (I can’t bring myself to finish writing that title):
‘I use cooking as partly meditation, partly therapy, partly self-care and partly an adventure.‘
I can’t be the only one who has Gene Wilder‘s Willy Wonka voice in their head saying “And 2% butterscotch ripple”?

Well she does live in a world of pure imagination

 

[BantzMonkey]

I mean, she included potatoes on her Christmas shopping list, even, she just couldn't be arsed peeling them I guess? I'd be more concerned about the fact that the oven isn't being used to its full capacity if you leave out the roasties, the only time they're worth doing energy-wise is when you've got a chicken cooking anyway.

I'm sure she prepped them the day before. I could swear she par boiled them and let them go cold then when she went to roast them the next day she discovered she had overcooked them and they had gone to mush. So no one had potatoes.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Considering SB's room at the crappy bungalow was devoid of anything child related, I doubt the lad was brave enough to leave his socks on the floor after walking on eggshells about his mother all day.

All kids are messy and can be lazy when it comes to doing chores, but if you have to wait hand and foot over your kid at SB's age, you've fucked up by not bringing them up right imo. (I don't believe a word of Jack's story, it just really irks me when parents complain about attributes they installed into their kids by blaming the kid themselves, grrr.)

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Can you imagine being the head of Channel 4 news and coming home to Jack complaining how BUSY she is, how EXHAUSTED she is and now she has to provide a meal (of non specific brown).

 

[Lanie]

Sorry about the hill i am currently dying on but also doesnt the whole i can do sm breaks myself sound like not only passive aggressive here but towards someone who may of in fact caused the break in the first place with a locked drawer and a single key.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Rage engaged. Roast potatoes are the best food, FACT, and you'd think the Grinch had been if there were none on Christmas Day. You sit on a throne of lies, Monroe.

Can just imagine the scene -
Jack : 'bad news everyone, I'm too knackered to do my world-famous roast potatoes you all love so much'
SB & LJC :

Ahhhh it was nice when LJC chose to be a bubble buddy over Christmas time though, particularly as I was inspired to make one of my top 5 favourite gifs #art

 

[Arsov Cooper]

To paraphrase a well-known tv advertisement...
"Oh, Mr Alansbigplate, you are spoiling us".

 

[LennyBriscoe]

I love how she's making out like she's the adult of the gang, and very much does put her own dirty socks into the basket etc, as well as doing all of the household chores and cooking. A much different picture from the one she previously painted where LJC would come home from work and despair that Jack had put a tent up in the garden, or set up a crockery shop in the dining room and get scolded like a naughty child

I would never speak about my husband and son the way she did, I too forgot how nasty that tweets were. It is “learned behaviour” - if you insist on cooking because you’re a control freak and think they possibly couldn’t even make a roastie as well as you, then they’re not going to beg for the chance.

And at that point, were we not meant to think LJC was just a bubble buddy? If I’m staying at a friend’s house than I’m damn sure I’m doing my own washing. Whatever the truth of their situation was, she always tried to make a fool out of Louisa and SB. Nasty sow.

 

[Emmapism]

Alan I've really missed you

 

[kachoochoo]

speaking of porridge allegedly filling everyone up on xmas morning, I seem to remember seeing a dialogue between Mom and trifle defender a couple of months ago, discussing how much of a lie it is that porridge fills you up

trying to find the receipts, but it's proving difficult

 

[HotesTilaire]

Learned helplessness doesn’t mean what Jack thinks it means. Although I’m sure it applies.