How about some inspirational quotes?
1. When life gives you lemons, make an inauthentic anchoïade using the fruits plus at least three types of tinned goods.
Jack Monroe #199 Just mind-bogglingly, gobsmackingly stupid
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1. When life gives you lemons, make an inauthentic anchoïade using the fruits plus at least three types of tinned goods.
Waiter waiter there's a Jack Monroe recipe in my soup!
Why did LJC cross the road?
SHE DIDN’T CROSS THE ROAD SHE LEFT!!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Cos Jack forgot to put it in the lingreenie
Cos Jack forgot to put it in the lingreenie
Luckily I’m not BUSY
Attachments
Take my wife…
Oh.
Oh.
I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings, but there was a blonde kumquat Jack. How she got these gigs is beyond me, Jack's idea of transgender is putting on a suit and swapping her Teresa May shoes for a chest binder.
Please keep your voice down Sir or everyone on Twitter without an ounce of sense will want some
I say I say I say
Jack Monroe's made anchoïade eggs
How do they smell?
Terrible
They taste dreadful too (I would imagine).
Jack Monroe's made anchoïade eggs
How do they smell?
Terrible
They taste dreadful too (I would imagine).
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Three lions walk into a bar.
I DANCED IN HEELS WITH MARCUS RASHFORD.
I DANCED IN HEELS WITH MARCUS RASHFORD.
What do you call a person with a kumquat on their head?
Jack
Jack
2. Act as if what you do makes a difference. It doesn’t.
3. Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to grift in the rain.
3. Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to grift in the rain.
How many Jacks does it take to change a light bulb?
None because I had to bleeping sell them all
None because I had to bleeping sell them all
A man walked into a bar
It were Jude Law
SIT THE FUXK DOWN I CANT SEE REDCAR
It were Jude Law
SIT THE FUXK DOWN I CANT SEE REDCAR
Knock knock
Who’s‘s there?
Jack
Jack who?
Jack Monroe
WHO DAT??
Who’s‘s there?
Jack
Jack who?
Jack Monroe
WHO DAT??
When life gives you lemons, why not rinse some beans, pickle some mandarins and jizz into a Sausagna
Holy road apples I don’t know what’s worse the hair, the outfit or being on a programme with both Jack and India Willoughby and trying to get a word in poor Naga.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
JACK MONROE
JACK MONROE
There was a young lady* from essex
*usual caveat applies
Who liked to make porridge for breakfast
She added some glitter
And took to the shitter
So LJC stole the tins saved for Brexit
*usual caveat applies
Who liked to make porridge for breakfast
She added some glitter
And took to the shitter
So LJC stole the tins saved for Brexit
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