Jack Monroe #199 Just mind-bogglingly, gobsmackingly stupid

[Squishedpotato]

Yup, there was even a song about it “you tried to kill a man(c bee) with stuffing in a soup” otherhighlights include having to bury the gravy in the back garden to get rid of the smell after the dog refused it. Someone gave a recipe to their child who cried!
Welcome to the Cabal of Sad Hausfraus, please share your story of what tipped you away from liking Jack, if you wouldn’t mind. Otherwise, read the wiki/thread 31 for much lols.

Several things for me - 1st being crying poverty the whole time then swanning off to a vegan retreat hotel thingy
2. The actual horror that is her twitter and insta, crying out for attention the whole time
3. That bloody kitten that she kept alive when it really was so poorly. I saw red at that.
4. The actual embarrassment I have at recommending her recipes to a friend (I feel so bad for her that she ate one of them). In my defense I was on slimming world at the time and anything had to taste better than some of the slop you end up cooking on that. Genuinely feel ashamed for falling for the shite!!

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Here comes thread 200!! I am so ready for my hat!

I'd like to nominate this for thread title!

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

Wonder if Toff has a landlord dad too

Also that’s the pleather lapel jacket!!

I’ve never seen this before, Toffs face when she clocked the Sideshow Bob hair .

Neither come across very good in my opinion we’ve got Jack who was so anti Brexit she spoiled her vote and Toff who sings the praises of a woman who was in power before she was even born.
Although of the two Toff comes across more eloquent.

I’m surprised she didn’t make out she had to starve for a week because she had to pay for lunch.

Slight side note I’m ever in a situation where you need to extract information from me just put me in a room with Jack speaking that nasally whiney voice will break me in seconds.

 

[blurstoftimes]

For her son's sake I hope it's not sausagne

happy lasagne day indeed

 

[Billybellend]

I’ve never seen this before, Toffs face when she clocked the Sideshow Bob hair .

Neither come across very good in my opinion we’ve got Jack who was so anti Brexit she spoiled her vote and Toff who sings the praises of a woman who was in power before she was even born.
Although of the two Toff comes across more eloquent.

I’m surprised she didn’t make out she had to starve for a week because she had to pay for lunch.

Slight side note I’m ever in a situation where you need to extract information from me just put me in a room with Jack speaking that nasally whiney voice will break me in seconds.

Sideshow Bob hair….I’m dead

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I was going to make something Jackish for tea tonight, to celebrate imminent arrival of thread 200.

But there is nothing... NOTHING...that I remotely fancy from the Jack Catalogue.

Fish fingers n peas it is, then. And not in a lasagne

 

[Lanie]

I was going to make something Jackish for tea tonight, to celebrate imminent arrival of thread 200.

But there is nothing... NOTHING...that I remotely fancy from the Jack Catalogue.

Fish fingers n peas it is, then. And not in a lasagne

I made a pizza in her honour what i mean is i bought a frozen one and cooked it because BUSY

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I'm a bit worried about the possible lack of hats so I've jacked up my hair

 

[Lanie]

Happy lasagne day, everyone! Be sure to use Dr Jack Monroe's Bécheval in all your celebratory cuboid slabs. Not only is it the superior white sauce brand but you get a free jar to do with as you please. You can even put it in the freezer. Do not @ me if it explodes, that's your fault for thinking I know what I'm talking about.

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That horse looks like hes had a great time.

 

[Boyo]

I made a pizza in her honour what i mean is i bought a frozen one and cooked it because BUSY

I fancied pizza but then stuffed it in a glass jar and re-froze it.

 

[Lanie]

I fancied pizza but then stuffed it in a jar and re-froze it.

I hope its not filled to the top?! Apparently that's bad or something?!

 

[Boyo]

I hope its not filled to the top?! Apparently that's bad or something?!

It’s ok, I left a gap, haven’t screwed the lid on, left the freezer door open, unplugged it and I also did a little jig. Should be fine.

 

[misshydrangea]

Im really pleased with my new Avatar. Id say im unusually smug. Am I Jack?

 

[Flash123]

I made a pizza in her honour what i mean is i bought a frozen one and cooked it because BUSY

I’m heading out for an Indian tonight. Hopefully there won’t be a peach or chickpea in sight!

 

[Django]

I fancied pizza but then stuffed it in a glass jar and re-froze it.

I fancied a pizza but I decided to dry it out on a radiator and use it as a fire lighter.
#jackhack

 

[BlendedSlop]

Im really pleased with my new Avatar. Id say im unusually smug. Am I Jack?

I love it so much I'm shamelessly stealing the idea...we should all Jackify ourselves!

 

[Boyo]

I fancied a pizza but I decided to dry it out on a radiator and use it as a fire lighter.
#jackhack

If you dry it out enough, you could blitz it to dust, which could then be sprinkled on baked mushrooms. Pizza dust on mushrooms! *insert Top Gun gif*

 

[crystaleyesd]

Ok lads to get us over the line to thread 200 let's do a Jack Monroe special stand up!

Jack Monroe walked into a bar.
duck YOU I DON'T DRINK!

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walked into a bar and the barman said
JACK STOP APPROPRIATING IDENTITIES!

How many Jack Monroes does it take to change a lightbulb?
ONE! SHE LEFT!

Doctor doctor I can't play the piano!
YOU NEVER COULD JACK!

What did Jack Monroe say to Boris Johnson?
duck YOU BORIS!

 

[EddieBeds]

I love it so much I'm shamelessly stealing the idea...we should all Jackify ourselves!

View attachment 686467

Omg I wish I knew how to do this. Eamon’s expression would look even more justified with that mop on top!

 

[Alansbigplate]

Ok lads to get us over the line to thread 200 let's do a Jack Monroe special stand up!

Jack Monroe walked into a bar.
duck YOU I DON'T DRINK!

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walked into a bar and the barman said
JACK STOP APPROPRIATING IDENTITIES!

How many Jack Monroes does it take to change a lightbulb?
ONE! SHE LEFT!

Doctor doctor I can't play the piano!
YOU NEVER COULD JACK!

What did Jack Monroe say to Boris Johnson?
duck YOU BORIS!

Knock knock



I don’t answer the door because I have stalkers