Please tell me she didn't have the kitten stuffed?!
Jack Monroe #199 Just mind-bogglingly, gobsmackingly stupid
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The peace’n’love persona didn’t last long, did it?
General rule:
Don’t make even the simplest thing sound like such a ballache.
Don’t suggest freezing in glass jars to thousands of people stoopid enough to think that you actually know how to cook - and then be surprised when this is queried.
Leave the lid off, then screw it on, make sure you leave a space - blah, blah, blah. Not everyone has such luxuries of spare time.
Don’t cry about 4 quid bus fares and then tweet a photo of your ridiculously nice and expensively furnished house.
Don’t ever change.
What am I saying? She never will
Don’t make even the simplest thing sound like such a ballache.
Don’t suggest freezing in glass jars to thousands of people stoopid enough to think that you actually know how to cook - and then be surprised when this is queried.
Leave the lid off, then screw it on, make sure you leave a space - blah, blah, blah. Not everyone has such luxuries of spare time.
Don’t cry about 4 quid bus fares and then tweet a photo of your ridiculously nice and expensively furnished house.
Don’t ever change.
What am I saying? She never will
It never does, dear heart. It never does.
I'm just grateful it wasn't Olympic commentary.
I don't need Jack's whimsical take on what is a lifetime of hard work for the competitors.
Although they aren't really people Jack would understand as they stick to the task in hand and excel at it...
I don't need Jack's whimsical take on what is a lifetime of hard work for the competitors.
Although they aren't really people Jack would understand as they stick to the task in hand and excel at it...
Shes chaosing. Quick grab snacks
This is part of why she’s not getting booked in the new wave of cheap / easy / tinned food. No one has time to freeze used pasta water or prep a bean salad 3 days in advance, or even grate a mushroom. Ppl just want something quick, cheap, yet lovely and she has yet to prove that’s possible from her.General rule:
Don’t make even the simplest thing sound like such a ballache.
Don’t suggest freezing in glass jars to thousands of people stoopid enough to think that you actually know how to cook - and then be surprised when this is queried.
Leave the lid off, then screw it on, make sure you leave a space - blah, blah, blah. Not everyone has such luxuries of spare time.
Don’t cry about 4 quid bus fares and then tweet a photo of your ridiculously nice and expensively furnished house.
Don’t ever change.
What am I saying? She never will
Thoughts and prayers
for @MancBee's tomato soup. Paxo is NOT an ingredient, Jack, it's a pointless English weird thing.
I “love“ how she always ends her Twitter visits with things like, “now if you’ll excuse me I have to go and do something much more IMPORTANT/FUN as I am WRITING/spending time with my SON. Have a lovely evening X”. Same energy as her being held hostage in thread 31 .
I mean, you’re a case in point. Still haven’t grated that mushroom, have you? But who’s got the time for such shenanigans?!
I have a maverick idea. Make or use passata for crumpet pizza and then perhaps make some sort of pasta for lunch the next day using the remainder of the sauce. I do this all the time. Perhaps im wrong.
All this talk of exploding jars is reminded me of the good old days of the internet, where shock sites had the 1 man, 1 jar video. That crunch haunts my nightmares still.
Jack should create content for those shite YouTube channels that do the fake life hack videos. You know the ones, where they put an egg in the microwave and it comes out as a panna cotta and crap like that. Her tips are about as useful.
Jack should create content for those shite YouTube channels that do the fake life hack videos. You know the ones, where they put an egg in the microwave and it comes out as a panna cotta and crap like that. Her tips are about as useful.
I know i dont have twitter but feel like writing back.
Ok hun, go have fun but we didn't ask for your input, you came on yer own.
Holy moly, Enid Blyton Jack is back
I approve this song. Inspiration for me name!
@PortiaControl
Do you want the full list, it may take a while...
Do you want the full list, it may take a while...
Dear heart I need to buy those mushrooms but any time I’m in my local mushrooms supply shop I always forget?I mean, you’re a case in point. Still haven’t grated that mushroom, have you? But who’s got the time for such shenanigans?!
But it’s true Marcus and TK and Miguel have decent food that doesn’t require a pulveriser or 6,000kWh worth of slow cooker and that is why they’re booked and busy and Jackie hasn’t even managed to get a slot cooking raw slop on Steph’s packed lunch.
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I sing this to my cat! "You are my Pooh-Bear".
I dont know why a cook wouldnt have tomato puree. I mean its the most basic of the basic, yet she will have truffle oil?! 
The poor handler gave her a bit of leeway to tweet on a Sunday and she's taking the absolute passata.
I imagine they're currently sitting with their head in their hands. However many lion bars she's paying them, it's not enough to deal with the fallout of her encouraging people to fill their freezer with exploding jars of pasta sauce.
I imagine they're currently sitting with their head in their hands. However many lion bars she's paying them, it's not enough to deal with the fallout of her encouraging people to fill their freezer with exploding jars of pasta sauce.
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