Jack Monroe #195 She basically writes fan-fiction about herself

[Switchstreetz]

Another of my favourite parts of #31 - one of jack's posts, answering the real important questions

And Veronicaaa just summing up the whole thread (that profile photo never been more fitting)

Spoiler

@ComeForTheX StayForTheY hope you're ok

 

[Billybellend]

I really, really hope that you have a nameplate by your door with Bellend Towers on it.

‘Course we do, @Blurp …it’s in the shape of an enormous aubergine

 

[Mr Krabs]

Dare I ask what's the story with the yellow wig iteration of Jack? Have we had ~kawaii desu ^_^ ~ Jack yet or was it some other inadvisable personality?

Let's hope she doesn't do an Oli London and 'come out' as Korean. I think I just gave myself botulism thinking about the manky jars of kimchi that she would create (which would be inexplicably brown, despite not containing any brown ingredients).

Happy Jackaversary. Let's hope I never have to see those sideboard pics again because uuugh.

 

[Billybellend]

Maybe she's quietly, softly conjuring up fried noodles Eton Mess for people?

@MaineCoonMama, my daughter's first passport photo, aged 20 months, she looks exactly like a baby Myra Hindley. Same facial expression, same hair. It's slightly terrifying
View attachment 631961

Someone else is milking those horses, if my eyes don’t deceive me…

 

[Veronicaaa]

oh my god, i've just opened this up from another reply and seen the file name!! +

Trying to figure out the meaning of these emojis and sitting her saying 'owl champagne. OWL CHAMPAGNE!!!' like they guy going 'baby fish mouth, BABY FISH MOUTH!!!' in When Harry Met Sally.

 

[Toffee finger]

Trying to figure out the meaning of these emojis and sitting her saying 'owl champagne. OWL CHAMPAGNE!!!' like they guy going 'baby fish mouth, BABY FISH MOUTH!!!' in When Harry Met Sally.

Hooting and fizzing at that clip. I don’t think I’ve ever actually watched When Harry Met Sally!

 

[EddieBeds]

View attachment 632212

I can’t find the Rishi ‘excluded’ sob picture (I’m hopeless as using the search function) but that could so replace this one. Although Jack’s would say ‘Feel like pure tit just want my passwords back x’

 

[Funsizes]

Happy anniversary thread elders!!!
I'm a baby in thread years so I will just have a coke

 

[discokebab]

I'm not sure my nerves could take Jack showing up again, I jumped when she showed up in Thread 31 and I knew it was gonna happen because it had already long happened by the time I arrived (Autumn 2020 which feels like a million years ago now)

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

So sad it’s dry and warm as I thought designer goods would appear in puddles on Jack day….
Sigh….maybe next year.

 

[Readingismyhobby]

Happy anniversary. Hard to believe a whole year has passed , couldn’t find a icecream lolly 🥲

 

[Captainmouse]

Oh dear Mary portas is off the market

 

[Readingismyhobby]

Oh dear Mary portas is off the market

? What has Mary Portas done?

 

[Captainmouse]

? What has Mary Portas done?

She has a new partner, one less wealthy woman for mackie to target

 

[BananaSmith]

Happy anniversary thread elders!!!
I'm a baby in thread years so I will just have a coke

Seems like a good time for this https://tenor.com/view/henry-cocaine-vacuum-gif-4876742

Welcome funsizes!

ETA Apologies for my lack of technical skills in failing to show the actual gif

 

[Flivver]

Happy jackversary ninnies!

I missed thread 31 in real time but reading back, you lot were absolutely marvellous. Will raise an alcohol-free glass to you all this evening.

Santé!

 

[Orphan_Black]

Happy threadversary! Hopefully Our Dear Jackie will rise with the strawberry moon and join us for a lolly!

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Happy Jackiversary to all of you who were there (and, I suppose, @Jack_M)! It was before my time and it feels like a huge part of Tattle History.

Lads, I struggle to keep up these days/have too much tit going down, but didn't want to miss a Jackaversary*. Love to you all, you are the best cabal of evil trolls and hausfraus on the internet.

*Despite my forever shame of being far too kind to her when she did appear.

I don’t think there’s any shame in that. You and everyone else dealt with such a weird thread-invasion so well imho x

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Happy Jackiversary all. I don't have a hat but I did make a cake for the occasion. Unfortunately nobody else can eat it due to the well-established Proximity Rule so I'll have to hoof the whole thing myself like a greedy goblin.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

I'm already cringing at the thought of the inevitable grand return to Twitter. Return of the mack if you will. Perhaps she's realised that if she has an actual social media break, she can say she was doing anything and there will be no tweets to disprove the timeline.