Jack Monroe #191 The sound of silence

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Orphan_Black

Couldn't (un)sexy santa Jack not have chosen somewhere else to take her sultry shot? That background is hilarious to have. Seriously, in front of the pulled Morris curtains would have been a hundred times better!

With all her hats and guises, the only constants are the lies and the half arsed-ness of her endeavours.
 
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colouredlines

That Santa photo...

https://giphy.com/Y4JE51QwzefMLfknfq

(FWIW I don't think she's a cokehead. I think she would get all pearl-clutchy at the very thought of illegal substances...she gives off a "some youths were smoking reefer so I gave an anonymous tip to 999" vibe, you know? Glastonbury stab vest etc...)
 
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schmetterling

PIE JESU the grinch that stole titmas will be in my nightmares later
 
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gashlycrumbtiny

Veronicaaa said:
Oh they did, babes. Jack gave them potato salad and, uh, a sandwich IIRC.

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On a grunk so sorry if things have moved on, but this must be Jack. I can’t bring myself to believe that there are people in the world who become incensed every time a new cooking show is launched and Jack isn’t in it. Nobody’s that mental, surely?!

MaineCoonMama said:
Oh Jack they aren't that rare or unknown. My old housemate used to keep axolotl. He showed Jack-levels of originality naming one Axl. The other was called Stampy after the elephant Bart wins on The Simpsons.
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I have an Axolotl. I got him for £5 from a guy who was selling them under the counter at an electrical
store in Edinburgh. My local Dobbie’s garden centre sells them, so they’re not that obscure in the UK either. I have an axolotl pin that I got from Wish.com on my denim jacket but I promise I’m NOT Jack.
 
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schmetterling

Agreed re the pearl clutching, this is from her Glastonbury article for the grauniad... She only stayed one night and took a fucking Moka pot which she then used as an excuse to performatively whine about getting four hours sleep/being a professional chef pretentious twat

 
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Orphan_Black

Only Jack could have a miserable time at a music festival.
 
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schmetterling

Orphan_Black said:
Only Jack could have a miserable time at a music festival.
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I freelanced pretty much full time (pre covid-19) in live event production, particularly festivals and worked a decent amount of 15-20 hour days and guess what! I still ALWAYS had fun!
Also even when we had good accommodation with a cooker etc we bravely, softly, furiously endured crew catering instant coffee (jk I love it) and no one had a tantrum when we didn't have croque monsieur for brekkie
 
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schmetterling

Lanie said:
Only she could think she would be stabbed at Glastonbury.

Don't they do like checks and stuff. Also she's hardly a peaky blinder.
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God, I would love to have her turn up at staff/artist accreditation and be told that she can't get a special magic wristband and has to slum it with the debauched 'reefer' smoking bongo drummers for 24 hours
 
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HotesTilaire

Smoking some reefer reminds me of some quite “cool, inside info” interview with Oasis back in the day, the writer said one of the band went of to “smoke some spliff” ha ha all credibility lost

I just read that King Marcus had a chat with Obama about young people making change in society, after his FSM campaigning he was the obvious choice.

Although I would have liked to see a smol pixie unleashing their best AAVE and mentioning their stepbrother
 
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heretoreaditall2019

Same. I don’t want to post the most triggering comment ever but a loved one’s cocaine problem is so absolutely devastating in so many ways, it destroys every component of their life and a family unit, and I can’t see any of the signs in Jack at all. These threads would be such a dark and scary place if she was. This is opinion obvs and very subjective to your experiences with cocaine dependent ppl so apologies to generalise.

However with that said I wouldn’t be surprised if she feigns it, after Allegra she’s learnt how effective mobilising “her addiction” is at keeping partners hostage so hams it up every now n then.
 
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SarcasticEllis

this is amazing. It’s like a new version of ‘we didn’t start the fire’
 
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waffle maker

At Glastonbury you can buy about a million types of coffee from all the food trucks and pop up organic cafes etc. I went a few times and I don’t think we ever cooked or had a stove (or even took food with us). There were hardly any police and plenty of drugs but it wasn’t violent. Stab vest the last thing you would need.
 
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ChickenPorridge

F*CK me. Though I've now seen most things that have been posted here before, they just get more cringey and hilarious every time you read them! Hyacinth Bucket but clomping around in her DM boots with two very rushed sleeves of ink. She's a rock star
 
Reactions: 33
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