Jack Monroe #191 The sound of silence

[traumatised sideboard]

Thank you @Falkor for perfectly capturing the essence of JACK MONROE IS AWAY. Your prize is a pineapple hat with extraneous brine.

The only thing Jack has done over the previous thread is retweet Delicious because her upside down Del Monte monstrosity was featured in the latest issue. Her Social Blade shows an encouraging trend of losing Twitter followers, presumably squiggles who had pulled up a chair for the chaoses that have so far failed to appear.

@Fruitjack tested the vegan version of the aforementioned upside down Del Monte recipe and, to our collective disappointment, it turned out surprisingly edible. The final results are here.

Spoiler: housekeeping

Please use the words ‘thread title’ (two separate words) when making a bid for one as it makes it easier to search. Also, try to hold off to the latter part of the thread if possible (after post #500). And remember - no swears are allowed.

There is a thread in the off topic forum called Food and Drink where off topic chat is encouraged if / when Jack is quiet.

New to Jack? Have a look at the wiki.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Just making sure I don't have to do the hotdog monstrosity. Can't afford a divorce.

ETA

 

[Superdude]

Not sure if my copying from the last thread will work here, but the response to the trifle defender, asking what kind of terrible cook would rinse beans, has tagged Marcus Rashford & Tom Kerridge ...

ETA the copying didn't work!

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

We’ve got a week & a half until month end, looking at the numbers it’s clear she’ll net yet another loss. She tends to shed 4% monthly, she’s only gained 1% (4 subs) during the few days she was heavily referencing “treatment”.

Much like her partnership work & 3k units of book sales, not sustainable at all.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Sometimes I tie myself in knots trying to compose a post without using any pronouns, and using only the word "Jack". I don't want to offend or get it wrong.

It makes me think of a feature on local radio here called "the yes no game", where callers have to talk for as long as possible without saying the words yes or no.

There's a lot of "I am". "I do". "That's correct'. Etc.

The best one is when the DJ says to the caller: " are you ready to play the yes/no game?"
" Yes!!!'
"Byeee!!!"

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

Ohh new thread I don’t think I’ve ever known a Jack thread last a week before. Great recap @traumatised sideboard & congrats on the thread title @Falkor.

 

[Flash123]

Loving the thread title. Just playing the song now as I go to sleep x

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Loving the thread title. Just playing the song now as I go to sleep x

Maybe someone has built Jack a bridge over all her troubled waters.

ETA. Good morning everyone!!!! Notjack has had granola and mushroom stroganoff, the crap they were serving veggies back in 1989. I am not happy.

 

[colouredlines]

Maybe someone has built Jack a bridge over all her troubled waters.

ETA. Good morning everyone!!!! Notjack has had granola and mushroom stroganoff, the crap they were serving veggies back in 1989. I am not happy.

Just to clarify: those are two separate dishes? Because otherwise...mixing a sweet breakfast favourite with funghi? Case closed, it's Jack.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Just to clarify: those are two separate dishes? Because otherwise...mixing a sweet breakfast favourite with funghi? Case closed, it's Jack.

Granola looked nice. Unfortunately.

Stroganoff looked like the stuff I got in halls at university when everyone else got yummy food.

 

[Falkor]

Ooh, I got a thread title, thank (space) you everyone!

I have form for invoking sod's law, so expect a major chaos in 3...2...1...

 

[Flash123]

Look up! The Super Flower Blood Moon lunar eclipse is coming May 26

It'll be the first total eclipse of the moon since January 2019.

www.google.co.uk

maybe she is planning a Master chaos

 

[Captainmouse]

Susan Calman with Adam frost on gardeners world, smol pixie will not be happy

 

[Cookiecookie]

Jumping in quickly so I don't have to eat the hotdog concoction!

I wonder if you will invoke chaos @Falkor Isn't the full moon this week an extra special one?
ETA @Flash123 got there already!

 

[Toffee finger]

Ooh, I got a thread title, thank (space) you everyone!

I have form for invoking sod's law, so expect a major chaos in 3...2...1...

Fingers crossed!

 

[Flash123]

Jumping in quickly so I don't have to eat the hotdog concoction!

I wonder if you will invoke chaos @Falkor Isn't the full moon this week an extra special one?
ETA @Flash123 got there already!

I must not be alone as soon as someone suggests a chaos my first reaction is to google “next full moon date”

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Honestly, when she first went quiet I googled when the next full moon would be. We are watery, tidal creatures. Some more than others.

 

[Prudejude]

How many days has it been now and she hasnt said anything about Marcus and Tom . She is raging . I have been looking at their recipes they are simple and look good. I think people have seen through and given up on Jack. Been a long time and Matt has not had her back . Others been on several times.

 

[FrumpyCat]

Granola looked nice. Unfortunately.

Stroganoff looked like the stuff I got in halls at university when everyone else got yummy food.

I remember the mushroom stroganoff years. The yummy mix of sticky rice and slimey mushrooms.

On thread, Thread one lasted ages, if Jack hadn't started kicking off at Jamie Oliver it would probably still be running.

 

[Flash123]

Last time Jack went quiet her mate Prince Harry had a chaos. She has been away this week and he has done a major chaos..... has anyone seen them in the same room before?