Jack Monroe #187 Who does she think she is, flippin' Cher?

[LennyBriscoe]

This is what I just don't get either. She is someone that is supposedly a campaigner, someone that fights on behalf of the poor. Surely giving a duck is fundamental in successful campaigning.

Those that are most passionate about an injustice, and people that really do make a difference, are those that care deeply and give plenty of fucks. Perfect example of someone who gives a duck and is turning out to be her nemesis, is the lovely Marcus Rashford.

Sorry for all the bleeping swearing

I reckon she’s trying to appear cool and edgy when she really gives more fucks than the rest of us put together. And I for one give a lot.

But of course for Jack those are about who likes her in the blue tick community, how many followers she has, who’s “stolen” work from her, how many patreons etc. But I agree that when it comes to the important stuff, you couldn’t give a shiny tit

 

[Hollaaa]

Well she’s not paid any tax for years now so the Tories haven’t seen a penny!

I think from a wider cultural perspective, having one-person-grift-bands doing their own thing on the internet demonstrates very bootstrap and self-reliant qualities.

 

[moosesauna]

Noooo! Stop normalizing grifting!
I get that twitter is a business wanting to earn from e-finance and drive up its engagement but come ON!
First it was list girls and only fans, now we’re all able to monetize our content. I feel outdated and like Mary Whitehouse

One of the people I follow has already latched onto it (something about voice impressions and meme quotes?) despite the fact she's already pretty well-off from what I gather. Bizarre why anyone would want to pay for a crap voice clip of a D-Lister, but I suppose that's the appeal of Cameo too.

 

[HotesTilaire]

I guess someone has removed the WiFi and mobile from our smol train elf.
There’s been a tower block fire in East London with Grenfell style cladding, seems there were no fatalities - thank goodness. That’s two major Monroe triggers in 24 hours yet no pointless twatter activism to try and use the hellsite for good...just the tip jar.

 

[Emmapism]

On the subject of reviews, I left a 5 star review for a place I stayed in Sussex a few years ago. Was really really complimentary. It was a booking.com thing where it asked you at the end if you could think of any negatives.

I said 'it's so hard to think of anything negative to say about this great place but there is a restaurant next door and if you're sitting in the lounge you can hear it a little. But it didn't bother me at all'

It took me 15 minutes to write the entire thing and honestly it was all totally glowing apart from the brief mention of the restaurant. It was 5 stars!

Later that day I get a message from the owner that made me feel sick 'I can't believe your review, you will cost me money/ruin my business etc etc'

I was flabbergasted to be honest. Tried to see if I could amend the review and apologized loads at the time.

But now thinking back to it, it was such a small thing and the rest of the review was so glowing, I actually feel quite angry with the woman who ran the place. Her response to me means the next time I visit the area I will stay somewhere else which I guess did lose her some business.....

 

[HotesTilaire]

I once wrote a review which was glowing, I had loved the place and it was a big deal for me to sign up to do a review. I did mention slow service -which I said was to be expected on the busiest week of the year, and in any case it was well worth the wait- I got a long reply from the owner about how it was the busiest week of the year etc etc. I was like mate- I tried to turn a negative into a positive for you!!!!

 

[Flash123]

This tip jar thing is entirely baffling. Imagine following along Jack's live tweeting of her case of the raging shits and thinking to yourself 'yes, this content is worthy of remuneration!'. Or a tweet saying 'bung it in a curry' to someone asking what they should do with a tin of prunes, or a picture of a Lovecraftian noodle bowl, or Cooper's actual bumhole

Spoiler: Phantom- don’t want to ruin anyone’s tea

i’m pretty sure there is a market for the shits story given the fact we all know a phantom shitter and it seems to be a worldwide phenomenon

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Review of Jack Monroe - *

When we arrived, the outside looked very pleasant but could have been done with a bit of a clean up. What surprised us was that every other room looked completely different. You would honestly think you were in different places!

We went to our room and found it initially warm but once they got us in and settled, it turned cooler. Very temperamental temperature.

We were unlucky to be at the back looking into a courtyard on what appeared to be election night as someone shouted something about “sitting the duck down” and “wanting to see Redcar”? What we did not realise was that there was also a piano. My OH was a huge Pulp fan but he said if he hears Common People one more time...

Breakfast was surprising, totally self- service. If I go away I want to be cooked for but the owner definitely had a corner cutting attitude. I opted for a full English but without the beans - I’m sure it was just a joke but there was a sign up saying ‘rinse your own’. One good thing was unlimited tea, although in a slow cooker is novel.

Checkout was tricky. We were accused of taking something - not outright but we saw it on Twitter and the owner kept rattling a jar as we were leaving.

Would not recommend.

 

[Legionnairess]

I popped a peek to see if I could see her tip jar and this appeared

!! I didn’t touch anything m’lud...

 

[Froggies]

I am so, so sorry, Froggies. That is absolutely horrific.

I can't believe you can't challenge the fake bad reviews. Will Google seriously do nothing? Can you at least reply (diplomatically) making it clear that they are false? Can you get legal advice?

Horrible for you xxx

We’ve replied making it clear they are false. I’ll speak to my solicitor on Monday. I really don’t want to go down this route but one review states that we are putting lives at risk (we’re not, we do absolutely everything by the book, I will not risk a life. We have set procedures that all employees must follow) and I can’t let that stand.

Thanks @Cgenda I’ve done that now.

Thank you for the support, it means a lot. I’m heartbroken by it. We’ve worked so hard for 15yrs, built an excellent reputation and one person is trying to ruin that because I dismissed him, ironically for not following procedure and if his work hadn’t been checked, it could have resulted in serious injury.

Sorry for the OT mods. Erm, on topic... what was the parsley for in the aparthotel fridge? Was it parsley? I might be misremembering

 

[HotesTilaire]

No need to explain @Froggies making and serving out of date salad bag pesto and thrice boiled beetroot water to your customers is a massive risk, sounds like the employee clearly breached the “pay no attention to Jack Monroe recipes” part of their contract. You did the right thing and he will get his.

 

[Mr Krabs]

#188: My jar shake brings all the squigs to the yard, and they're like, Jack spend it on lard.

 

[BorisWelsh]

Jack Monroe #thread 188 . Mama's got a new tip jar and can't wait to shake it .

“MamaPapa”

 

[StringyMango]

Shake your money maker monroe

 

[ScamSandwich]

Still grunking and hooting and adding that my forensic analysis has shown that
a)she has not embroidered the denim apart from the Agatha Christie message @MancBee

b) she has checked into the Liary

@Billybellend , your staff who at her slop pics will slowly, gently appear here as new Frauen (inclusive term).

Now get to absolute duck x

 

[Froggies]

No need to explain @Froggies making and serving out of date salad bag pesto and thrice boiled beetroot water to your customers is a massive risk, sounds like the employee clearly breached the “pay no attention to Jack Monroe recipes” part of their contract. You did the right thing and he will get his.

Damn, I was too obvious wasn’t I?

 

[colouredlines]

bleeping hell.

I don't tip, but then I live in a non-tipping culture. Our waiters etc are...well, I'm not gonna say *well-paid*, but no worse-paid than most of us. We do have exceptionally bad service, but I dunno if that's related to the lack of tipping!

(As an aside, I join my fellow Frauen who hate the US tipping culture. It leads to that extremely unpleasant "Hi, I'm Casey and I'll be your server this evening! Cute sweater! So what brings you folks out here tonight?" service, which is even worse than the waiter ignoring you for an hour that we get here.)

Tipping Twitter people just seems horrendous. And apparently you can only tip people who tweet in English, so I can't even join in the grifting fun if I want to.

Having said that, if you liked this post, I will gladly send you my Binance wallet address and you can drop me some crypto! Forever home now please.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Notjack has gone rogue.

Don’t look if you are scared of mushrooms that look suspiciously as though they have been boiled.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

I guess someone has removed the WiFi and mobile from our smol train elf.
There’s been a tower block fire in East London with Grenfell style cladding, seems there were no fatalities - thank goodness. That’s two major Monroe triggers in 24 hours yet no pointless twatter activism to try and use the hellsite for good...just the tip jar.

@HotesTilaire this is my point exactly. For all the 'activism' 'pseudo-politics' and faux rage, her absolute radio silence today screams the bleeping opposite.
The fact that some serious tit has been happening lately and the only thing this 'peoples champion' has felt to promote is herself is a bloody disgrace.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

We’ve replied making it clear they are false. I’ll speak to my solicitor on Monday. I really don’t want to go down this route but one review states that we are putting lives at risk (we’re not, we do absolutely everything by the book, I will not risk a life. We have set procedures that all employees must follow) and I can’t let that stand.

Thanks @Cgenda I’ve done that now.

Thank you for the support, it means a lot. I’m heartbroken by it. We’ve worked so hard for 15yrs, built an excellent reputation and one person is trying to ruin that because I dismissed him, ironically for not following procedure and if his work hadn’t been checked, it could have resulted in serious injury.

Sorry for the OT mods. Erm, on topic... what was the parsley for in the aparthotel fridge? Was it parsley? I might be misremembering

Google do & should take them down it’ll just frustratingly take a while for them to review you so keep the faith, you’ll be okay in a few days Obvs don’t know the nature of your business at all but if you’re worried it’ll immediately effect footfall/orders maybe put a polite response re: employee cos people do check the 1 stars - some people will 1 star cos they’re just vile and want to be mean about a clearly overworked waitress and some 1 stars will be like there was rat tit in my pasta so they’re vital reading! In the mean time can you ask friends & family to drown it in 5* reviews? It’s really tit and I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this during a pandemic/recession too x

On topic: where’s our grifting think piece #threads off Jackie?! Will these threads become some sort of anti-fan fiction commune in her absence?!