Jack Monroe #183 Someone's fewmmin'

[waffle maker]

Jack: what’s the diagnosis?
Lady DR: I am referring you for treatment. You must go and stay in a hotel despite the pandemic. Be sure to photograph the smeg fridge.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Reddit...


View attachment 544232

So these new followers are reddit straight-edgers? Boy oh boy are they in for a surprise.

 

[Emmapism]

Guess where I'm staying Tattle! Is my least favourite Jack because I don't care.

Hopefully will come back later on to some chaos or other

 

[HotesTilaire]

I’m triggering an emergency protocol for @MancBee in case Jack is in his neck of the woods.
1) avoid sainsburys local, Tesco express, Nisa etc. just shop at a Lidl or Aldi if you must. If for any reason you find yourself in one of these shops, do NOT approach any yellow sticker items, or talk in a whisper to any any smol pixies even to tell them they’re great.
2) avoid travelling by train or tram, which is like a train, unless your shins are adequately protected.
3) check with neighbours before eating any food left on your step. Remember, the soup with stuffing wasn’t 100% sloppy, dangerous slop could be disguised as something else.

I know it’s hard as we’ve just left lockdown, but it’s for your own good Manc.

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

Can we put a poll at the start of the next thread as to if you believe Jack is in a hotel or not? I’m genuinely intrigued to know the answers.

Me, as a sane, responsible, perfectly rational but heartbroken person a few years ago posted pictures on Instagram that made it look like I was out drinking with an ex, to make the latest one jealous. It’s amazing what heartbreak can do to you and I look back now and die inside, if I can do it though then I’m sure the mendacious Jack Monroe can fake a few pictures in a hotel room for attention on Twitter.

The sad thing is, I did idiotic things like that to try and get an ex back (obviously it didn’t work, it was pathetic), but Jack is literally doing it for likes and fawning on Twitter. That is truly the real dark side of social media addiction.

I don’t for one second believe she’s in a hotel or that a hotel would do that with the drinks. If they did there would be Coca-Cola, fresh orange, bottled water, not this stuff Jack has posted. The fact she won’t say which hotel it is despite tweeting every inane detail of her life says it all. She says the name, she’s caught out. End of game.

 

[emm]

Jesus I am late today...
- jack in standard denim but does look good
- not as good as Matt in black - woof
- jack seems to have hit her stride EXCEPT why the duck is she bobbing about like she is at sea, it’s making me sick.
- lots of hilarity over a lemon.
- there’s a ridiculous bit where she nearly spits her food out over Matt mentioning a sausage.
- yawn. Glad it’s over.
- thank you very Matt much.
- see you all at Saturday Kitchen Live NOT YOU JACK!

god just watching her sway around is really awkward

 

[Orphan_Black]

So these new followers are reddit straight-edgers? Boy oh boy are they in for a surprise.

Reddit has changed so much in the last couple of years, it really is a second facebook now. Made me smile is full of rot like that.

 

[FlashBoof]

That will explain why their employee who LOVED the pork she cooked for friends tagged the delmontegb name (that didn’t exist at that time).

Sorry to quote myself but I just did a little hoot about this! When the delmonte employee commented on the burnt but still strangely uncooked, fatty pork dish about how “delicious” it was, she tagged @delmonteuk - I clicked through on it, thinking it was another account...didn’t exist. Going back now, to visit it, and she has changed the tag to delmonte Europe but now the account is delmonte GB it doesn’t exist.

I can see now, why they employed Jack. Lazy, inept, no attention to detail and half arsed. A match made in heaven.

Edit to add grab...PS - I am not the blue squig, or any of them, to be fair!

 

[SpamNugget]

She's obviously staying at the Saarfend Hilton ,well known for having full sized Smeg fridges full of delicious alcohol free delights to softly softly snaffle on like a greedy smol pixie ..(tbh I've stayed in Claridges and they didn't have a full sized mini bar ...but you got a complimentary bottle of champagne ...obviously not good for those who don't drink )

On the FullTimeMeals front the first recipe is Chicken Satay Stir Fry ,the ingredients list is up and you can cook along with MR and TK tomorrow at 11am ..( no parsley in the ingredients list tho ' )

 

[Malkiavelli]

Reddit has changed so much in the last couple of years, it really is a second facebook now. Made me smile is full of rot like that.

If ever there was a perfect example of an echo chamber, perhaps even more so than twatter, Reddit would be it.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Sorry to quote myself but I just did a little hoot about this! When the delmonte employee commented on the burnt but still strangely uncooked, fatty pork dish about how “delicious” it was, she tagged @delmonteuk - I clicked through on it, thinking it was another account...didn’t exist. Going back now, to visit it, and she has changed the tag to delmonte Europe but now the account is delmonte GB it doesn’t exist.

I can see now, why they employed Jack. Lazy, inept, no attention to detail and half arsed. A match made in heaven.

In my head Del Monte HQ is basically a big clown college. All the employees riding around on tiny bicycles, juggling pineapples, tripping each other up on banana skins. Then suddenly someone will shout “Instagram!” and they all gather round one phone, and, with one finger and a tongue sticking out, type and upload the latest madness.

 

[Skyfall]

Keep yourself safe??
From whom? Your imagination that’s who.
Fu@kin drama queen

 

[ChickenPorridge]

It's all just so embarrassing, whatever way you look at it. Who seriously says they have stalkers and post 🥸 disguise emojis about it. It's laughable. Alcoholic-Jack is the costume of the week with Stalked and Victimised Jack bringing up the rear. Still no retweet for Full Time Meals. So she's gonna name the hotel after she's LEFT, I look forward to that. I know she'll be just dying to prove the doubters wrong.

 

[FlashBoof]

If ever there was a perfect example of an echo chamber, perhaps even more so than twatter, Reddit would be it.

I haven’t done Reddit but I must say, the whole year of nonsense displayed here and things like the sock puppets, employee commenting and hasty delete sprees has shown me just how terribly fake and awful social media is in general - far more than I ever realised from reading the odd Caroline Cadwaller Facebook story and the like. It’s is absolutely all over the place. Tattle Studies should be put on the National Curriculum as an example of how social media is a towering pile of crumbling crap!

 

[Suffolkmum]

Not sure where this will land. Waitrose Weekend paper have a 2 page spread on Tom and Marcus, including a bit about FSM and Henry Dimbleby. You all know what I’m going to say.
Absolutely nothing, not a word about our pixie.

 

[Orphan_Black]

View attachment 544287Keep yourself safe??
From whom? Your imagination that’s who.
Fu@kin drama queen

Honestly, I'm sure any Frau would actively AVOID her if we knew she was close by. I don't want to meet you, Jack!!!

 

[FlashBoof]

Honestly, I'm sure any Frau would actively AVOID her if we knew she was close by. I don't want to meet you, Jack!!!

Ha! Me too - I would cross the street to avoid her! COVID spreading, grubbily fingering anything vaguely edible (or inedible if the Tile saga is to be believed) with no sanitiser etc, dribbling raw chicken juice all over herself and any available splash zone....Christ, it’s a walking medical disaster zone!

 

[Mr Krabs]

If ever there was a perfect example of an echo chamber, perhaps even more so than twatter, Reddit would be it.

I'd agree that it's more of an echo chamber than Twitter. Yeah, you can get suspended for stupid stuff on Twitter, but on Reddit they completely shut down any discussion of anything they don't like. Subreddits get deleted all the time. Most of the popular subs are just constant reposts of 'look at my floofy cat' or shitthatdidnthappen stories.

So yeah, it's perfect for Jack. Hope she does an AMA.

 

[sleepisforwimps]

I dont follow Jack but this is the second time Twitter has notified me of a Jack tweet in a week.

 

[Eirawen]

You three are perfect examples of why I feel so at home here. Back when Russell Brand was popular, I felt so out of step. I couldn't stand him, thought he was creepy and as funny as a dose of clap. I couldn't understand his appeal and wondered why people didn't see him the way I saw him.

I didn't like the way he used his previous drug use as a personality trait. In the early days he used it as a central part of his comedy act. Monetising it, and almost glamourising it in a strange sort of way. "Look at me, I've been a drug addict and it's given me a unique take on life"

But obviously there were people like me...and I have finally found you all.

He keeps reinventing himself, he has now adopted a guru persons. It's scary howamy people follow him.