Jack Monroe #183 Someone's fewmmin'

[Clovis]

I don't care where she is or what she's up to but I'm still hooting and fizzing over the revelation that the main ingredient of her tomato soup is someone else's tomato soup!

 

[HotesTilaire]

Is this the title of her next book? Jack Monroe's Big Book of Boak?

Got to be thread title nominate

 

[colouredlines]

Long time lurker popping up to say hello Been reading since last year; I knew of jack Monroe and actually came to tattle to read about another influencer and saw her threads and wanted a read. It was about the time of her kicking off about THAT MAN and starting DKL and I couldn’t believe how she was acting and started reading her threads. You bunch of ninnies have kept me hooting and fizzing all year! I’m going to go for a piss and a sandwich now, but will be reading and commenting on these threads as they continue!

ETA:

Welcome aboard! I think a lot of us start out like that - you see Jack Monroe threads trending and think, "huh, isn't she the cheap food woman? What's going on there?" Then it's one year later and you'll never find your way out again...

 

[waffle maker]

Jack: what’s the diagnosis?
Lady DR: I am referring you for treatment. You must go and stay in a hotel despite the pandemic. Be sure to photograph the smeg fridge.

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

Can we put a poll at the start of the next thread as to if you believe Jack is in a hotel or not? I’m genuinely intrigued to know the answers.

Me, as a sane, responsible, perfectly rational but heartbroken person a few years ago posted pictures on Instagram that made it look like I was out drinking with an ex, to make the latest one jealous. It’s amazing what heartbreak can do to you and I look back now and die inside, if I can do it though then I’m sure the mendacious Jack Monroe can fake a few pictures in a hotel room for attention on Twitter.

The sad thing is, I did idiotic things like that to try and get an ex back (obviously it didn’t work, it was pathetic), but Jack is literally doing it for likes and fawning on Twitter. That is truly the real dark side of social media addiction.

I don’t for one second believe she’s in a hotel or that a hotel would do that with the drinks. If they did there would be Coca-Cola, fresh orange, bottled water, not this stuff Jack has posted. The fact she won’t say which hotel it is despite tweeting every inane detail of her life says it all. She says the name, she’s caught out. End of game.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

She's hidden the branded kombucha cans because they're in direct competition with her own kombucha products. One day she'll unclasp the recipe for whiskey-bucha from her bosom and release it into the wild. In her absence the sixteen SCOBYs in the fridge have probably evolved a method of locomotion by now and have formed a symbiotic relationship with the sentient mirror.

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

Thread title idea

Jack Monroe #185: n o r m a l i s i n g l i e s

 

[Orphan_Black]

Well done @Powershower and thank you @People-huv-tae-know

I'm still gunning for a huge Jack rebellion since I'm still salty she made me freaky lol.

Spoiler: Sideboard Bob

Couldn't reply on last thread, honestly thought the oracle comment was hilarious at the time, please don't worry! It was just today I had a funny moment over the bike comment and my auditory hallucinations ran with it for a freaky five minutes! I honestly love how kind and understanding the cabal is, and appreciate you apologising, even though it's completely unnecessary! Thank you xxxx Big hugs to every one, for I am a real housefrau ninnie! lol!

 

[MancBee]

Imagine opening a hotel fridge, looking for some nice refreshments, and finding a row of fucking Yakult? WTF?

BTW Jack, you have good grounds for a complaint here. These bottles in the bottom right have been opened. Unsanitary at the best of times, but extremely bad form in a pandemic! What is this hotel playing at, eh?

View attachment 543861

If it is her own fridge, and she is at home, what a strange thing to do, pretend to be in an hotel. A very expensive hotel that has SMEG fridges in their rooms. Stacked to the top with high end drinks. Why not a couple of lemonade and Pepsi? Where is the overpriced chocolate bars? Has anyone ever seen an hotel fridge with that amount of drinks in it?

If she is in an hotel, what a strange thing to do, praise it for providing non alcoholic drinks, but not even say which hotel chain it is. How is that helpful to anyone else? She doesn't have to say which city she is in. A simple "XYZ hotel chains are great, look what they've done for me" would be all that was needed.

But she's at home isn't she?

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

@Pinksnotters is having fun in thread #62,

and they have just reminded me of the wig era:

 

[traumatised sideboard]

They've thoughtfully given her a carafe to drink out of, they definitely know it's her! They obvs didn't know that she's mostly plant-based though, don't you know how offensive it is to put Yakult in a vegan's fridge? If she's not making a Tropicana, pineapple and barbecue sauce soup with parsley for dinner while she catches up here after her intensive all-day treatment then I'll be disappointed. All those energy drinks don't bode well either, they might be fuel for an almighty all-night chaos.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

This feels the closest we’ve ever come to a Rachel Dozeal style reveal on the class / poverty cosplayer. If she even eludes to the notion she was ever on FSM she’ll be easily disproven by her own dad’s incessant self promotion.

And we have the ICO drama brewing, what a time to be alive

It's the full moon next week too, and it's a super moon!

So we're fast approaching the 200 thread mark, how shall we celebrate? I think Poca should put a word in and get us some hats commissioned .

 

[Ellabella]

Someone phone up the hotel and see if anyone has checked in under the name Mx Pars Leigh.

 

[NomDeGuerre]

I can’t believe I am now a Fridge Truther

 

[LennyBriscoe]

She's hidden the branded kombucha cans because they're in direct competition with her own kombucha products. One day she'll unclasp the recipe for whiskey-bucha from her bosom and release it into the wild. In her absence the sixteen SCOBYs in the fridge have probably evolved a method of locomotion by now and have formed a symbiotic relationship with the sentient mirror.

I know absolutely zip about kombucha. Some might say I don’t have a scoby-doo...

(I’m so sorry)

 

[Saint_clemmie]

What I find even more unforgivable is when she chuckled about it on a podcast (can be found on YouTube)
Host “why have people heard of you?)
Jack “i said something bad about DC once” chuckle.
Host “everyones said something bad about DC” Jack “but not everyone is reminded on a near daily basis” chuckles.
If she did apologise at the time she certainly didn't mean it.

Edit - paraphrasing but it's very close to what she said. Her attitude is gross, like a teenager who thinks swearing makes them cool.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Why is the idea of tomato soup as an ingredient for tomato soup making me feel incredibly queasy!?

It's just so bizarre. Feeling blue? Can't be bothered cooking? Why not buy a can of tomato soup and blend it up with some tinned tomatoes?!

 

[Ellabella]

I mean if they are complimentary, am I the only one who'd be on my 6th Kombucha of the night after mainlining 5 Yakults?

 

[kachoochoo]

also!

1. a lot of hotel rooms have empty fridges for your own use.

2. if you'd asked for it to be emptied, why would you open it? oh, right, parsley. why are you taking parsley to a hotel?

 

[Fruitjack]

You three are perfect examples of why I feel so at home here. Back when Russell Brand was popular, I felt so out of step. I couldn't stand him, thought he was creepy and as funny as a dose of clap. I couldn't understand his appeal and wondered why people didn't see him the way I saw him.

I didn't like the way he used his previous drug use as a personality trait. In the early days he used it as a central part of his comedy act. Monetising it, and almost glamourising it in a strange sort of way. "Look at me, I've been a drug addict and it's given me a unique take on life"

But obviously there were people like me...and I have finally found you all.

I never forgave him for that stupid thing he did that went viral telling young people not to vote. He is the perfect example of people who believe that eloquence is the same thing as intelligence.