Jack Monroe #183 Someone's fewmmin'

[kachoochoo]

@Malkiavelli this is the first ref to NA


Burn. Shade. Burn. Shade? Can shade burn?

from the article

1. jack didn't teach marcus anything

2. Tom recounted this on breakfast this morning

3. yeah, they've got big names who don't have twitter rages

and if her friend is real, i wish her all the best. but it's a fucking strange look to be harvesting people's phone numbers when you've just been threatened with the ico, just to push down mentions of full time meals

 

[Carmina-Piranha]

I wonder what her assumed name for mystery hotel stays is? Jack Monroe is pretty generic as far as names go really. Also, what hotel has a Smeg? (I hate that word too @bowiethesdmn ) If they have fridges etc it's normally non branded, hotel supply equipment, not branded high end products (admittedly I've never stayed in a posh hotel though!)

I can imagine the hotel staff really excited among themselves going "yes, Jack Monroe, the Hollywood film producer, and Marvel character...."
And up bounds our lil smol pixie to the reception desk with eleventy-hundred rucksacks all beeping cos of Tiles innit, and packed with 100's of DelMonte tins, pairs of clown trazzers, boxes of secret vegan crackling and for light bedtime reading, THAT MAN'S entire back catalogue.

 

[kachoochoo]

hotel mini bar!

#frugalmama #jackshacks #nospendyear #foreverhydrangea

 

[ChickenPorridge]

I think it's pretty safe to say her 'intensive, all day treatment' is as suspected, some kind of rehab

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Sorry to quote myself but I just did a little hoot about this! When the delmonte employee commented on the burnt but still strangely uncooked, fatty pork dish about how “delicious” it was, she tagged @delmonteuk - I clicked through on it, thinking it was another account...didn’t exist. Going back now, to visit it, and she has changed the tag to delmonte Europe but now the account is delmonte GB it doesn’t exist.

I can see now, why they employed Jack. Lazy, inept, no attention to detail and half arsed. A match made in heaven.

In my head Del Monte HQ is basically a big clown college. All the employees riding around on tiny bicycles, juggling pineapples, tripping each other up on banana skins. Then suddenly someone will shout “Instagram!” and they all gather round one phone, and, with one finger and a tongue sticking out, type and upload the latest madness.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

God, this tweet still makes me so angry. It is one of the most patronising things I've ever seen.

Re: squiggles - one's been around for ages and I'm sure reads here (maybe used to post here, though no evidence for that and I don't know who they were), and often pops up with replies on negative JM tweets. The other in this case is BLM squiggle who raised an absolutely appropriate grievance with JM around the BLM issues. No idea if they were already onto her or if the BLM stuff tipped them over the edge. They're a bit of a hero, they didn't back down and they were absolutely the grown up in the conversation. No idea if they read here, but if they do then I hope they know they're pretty cool.

I do love a new arrival, especially with a good back story, but I do like that there are brave squiggles out there fighting the good fight. I've never interacted with JM on social media, only here when she came to our yard (TM @heretoreaditall2019), and it's sometimes super-frustrating to sit on my hands, particularly lately.

@Orphan_Black - speaking of thread #31. I said something to JM there about her ASD (compared her behaviour to my daughter who also has ASD) and she took what I'd said and used it a few times as the explanation for a couple of her behaviours. I thought I was going a bit nuts (sorry, but I am nuts, so please can I be allowed the colloquialism?) when she did it (I've had someone do that to me before - take something about me and tell it as if it were their story) and it's *incredibly* disorientating. I mentioned it here and I think a couple of people said they'd noticed it too, and then I felt a bit less unstable. Hope you're feeling better now. (Sorry for ALL THE BRACKETS).

Agree completely, can believe BLM squiggle came here and read for a bit as she references the horrific food JM was serving at that point in time, dusty mushrooms are ancient history to us now we’ve moved through the botulism era and we’re into charcoal paired with acidic slave labour fruits now. Usually a full on convert announces themselves, like we’ve got at least one vegan squiggle amongst us.

Sadly the reason I recognised her was because Jack had pretty much no interaction with any BAME accounts or seemingly any fans that don’t look like Giles and Nutty off gogglebox tbh. BLM squiggle rightly called her out for her bizarre behaviour around BLM, unsurprisingly Jack refused to engage or develop a view point beyond the defensive. Something I learnt with the Florence given / the slum flower row was publishers usually hire people to check for blind spots or potentially offensive content. It’s been said better by others on the thread but Jack has SO many blind spots - living in temp accommodation, a HMO, overcrowded housing, not having a £30 slow cooker, etc etc. Amazing none of these have ever been considered by her publisher, but they must be trash too so no surprises there

Also will never recover from just what a rude little gremlin she was that day, wild that we’re meant to be the scum of the earth yet she really brought the tone of the place down. Sadly none of us had discovered “awfully gauche darling” yet! xx

 

[MancBee]

Perhaps our fave smol pixie has applied for the job and got it. She would have bona fide references like her friends from Diva, even Allegra perhaps ? Can I have a full house bingo if true...(or does that make me a greedy, narc-y slop goblin? ). X

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Manchester Pride has had enough scandals in the past. We do not need or want her. Sorry for speaking for the whole community, but not really sorry.

 

[Marj24]

It is interesting isn't it?
For all Jack's faults I don't ever get the impression she would be actually unpleasant to work with on these TV/media things, in that I don't think she'd be rude. She is too eager to please.
So the rot sets in somewhere. Apart from the obvious that she can't cook, maybe her lack of professionalism all round is the problem - scampering, gazing at lights, being needy. Her behaviour on twitter around whatever she does must be a big thing, bringing along her odd followers too.

And I'm not surprised at her being off twitter. She has pointed out several times she is far too BUSY to retweet MR and TK. So to tweet some other nonsense now points out she was not busy at all, just really really did not want to do it.

Just my opinion but this tweet by Stephen Mangan sums up what I think it must be like to work with Jack

 

[MancBee]

What medical reason can there possibly be to come up to Manchester that isn't available closer to Southend? Unless it has all been an elaborate charade, and she is just having a few days in London stalking Louisa. BB hasn't been mentioned for ages. Neither has her son. Nor Cooper. Nobody really..........certainly not Marcus and Tom.

In the words of the lovely Toyah...

It's a myth-tery, it's a myth-tery
I'm still searching for a clue

 

[Rags2Riches]

Imagine assuming that a hotel wouldn’t remove alcohol at your request because you’re not a “celebrity”. Then tweeting about it. Bit embarrassing that really.

 

[girolle]

This person HATES her.

Good grief. That last tweet as well is just evil. What a nasty thing to say!

 

[MancBee]

I’ve had to rush through today’s episode because I’M BUSY. So some quick thoughts

- double denim for the pair of them today. Jack has stolen hers from Dolly Parton though.
- tinned fish suggestions. Bung it in a curry.
- use any spices, any old spice will do.
- why does she want to put breadcrumbs on everything, is that the only way she adds texture? Does she think that’s fancy cooking?
- talks about greedy fatty foods and gobbling them up. Literally never seen her make them at home, ever.
- makes something brown.
- fat in mince discussion. They add it. Honestly...

I’m off out, no drama whilst I’m gone OKAY?

She says that the translation of masala is sauce. I really didn't think it means that, my Indian mate always talks about his masala spices. So I checked with my other friend Google...

Masala or Massala or Masalo (Hindi: मसाला, Urdu: مسالہ‎ Gujarati: મસાલો, Marathi: मसाला, Nepali: मसला) is a word used in South Asia, mainly Pakistan, Nepal, India, and Bangladesh. When Indian people talk about cooking and they say masala, they mean a mixture of ground spices used in Indian cooking.

Wrong again Jack. Not such a know it all are you? Your food knowledge is pitiful for someone that has made it their job.

 

[Hollaaa]

Soup flavour soup.

 

[Mr Krabs]

Already working on the hats for thread 200.

I'm thinking I might make the bows out of receipts. Or long lists of Jack's inconsistencies.

 

[Harrybosch]

I honestly don't think she is at home. I think us speculating she is makes us look bonkers, to be honest. Sorry guys.

Thats when I like this thread the best. I love truly insane suggestions a Frau occasionally comes up with. It just makes me laugh. I also think it makes it really hard for her not to join in.

On that note, I'm pretty sure Jack Monroe is one of the lizard people and is in a forest worshipping an owl.

 

[Suffolkmum]

Not sure where this will land. Waitrose Weekend paper have a 2 page spread on Tom and Marcus, including a bit about FSM and Henry Dimbleby. You all know what I’m going to say.
Absolutely nothing, not a word about our pixie.

 

[Jelly Bean]

A mention of a smol pixie, but not in relation to the new initiative. There shall be clawing and, indeed, wailing, no doubt.

Marcus Rashford and Tom Kerridge are an online dream team

With their new campaign, "Full Time", the footballer and chef have joined forces to cook up a storm in the kitchen and encourage children to make healthy meals at home.

www.gq-magazine.co.uk

Ahahaha the shade towards Jack in that last line
Tom would offer Marcus a job in his kitchen but - 'he obviously hadn't tasted his meatballs' - that was Jack's recipe
Oh my.
And surely mentioning smol pixie earlier in the article was the time to mention her involvement. But no. How strange

 

[Harrybosch]

It's the full moon next week too, and it's a super moon!

So we're fast approaching the 200 thread mark, how shall we celebrate? I think Poca should put a word in and get us some hats commissioned .

I vote for hats.

eta: sorry, couldn't find Ian Hislop in a hat.

 

[SlopAmbsase]

This image just, I don’t know, spoke to me.

 

[Pocahontas]

Pulling my train into speculation station, if she’s staying in an aparthotel, there will be a big fridge to go with the kitchen. Maybe the hotel put the orange juices in there and some other bits and she put the rest in, called the whole lot ‘complimentary’ and a ‘mini fridge’. Who knows.

She puts these photos on Twitter to get the guessing game going and I give zero crappolas.