Jack Monroe #182 Extraneous brine

[Blurp]

Here's the fireplace:

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It would take several hours to deep clean that kitchen. Times 12 and now we know why her working hours are so long.

And as a teenager and student in a tourist area, I spent years of my holidays working in kitchens, hotels, and pubs. I know how to bloody clean to an acceptable standard in a professional kitchen. Unlike a certain Literal Food Expert.

 

[Cookiecookie]

Foreign Frau alert: everything was a mandarin to me when I first arrived here. Scrap that, I still don't know the difference between satsumas, clementines, mandarines, etc. If it's orange and not an orange, its all the same to me. Much like herbs.

They're all peelers to me, because I have no idea either Never managed a willy shaped peeling though, kind of impressed at that *childish*

Jack's charity shop haul is crazy. She's seen Mom talk about her collections, and thinks that how it should be. Food photography always looks better on simple crockery, not poured in a grave marker or anything like that

LJC, could you imagine Marie Kondo doing a declutter on Jack's hoard? Does it inspire joy, Jack?!

 

[squiffle]

If those are the videos that get posted on Instagram, imagine all the ones on her camera roll that we don’t see.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Is it tonight or next week, the “Jack and the multicolour trousers of nightmares” event?

 

[Jelly Bean]

Reminds me of Silence of the Lambs!!!

Would you duck Jack? SHAN'T!!!

Yes! That is what I was reminded of! It was the singing along that did it.

 

[bladiesla]

How do you even do that? I have just peeled one (well I had to try didn't I?) but failed miserably.

Honestly, I just start to peel in a straight row and it comes off like that. We usually have easy peelers (which makes my BF sing 'She's an easy peeler' to the tune of Easy Lover when I eat them)

 

[Saint_clemmie]

That smile at the end - she looks deranged. I've never known anyone who couldn't genuinely smile.

The DKL (actual live in the studio) week was a weird style phase for Jack, she seemed...confused. Remember the Femme t-shirt photo? Can’t easily find the original photo so please accept this artist impression.

 

[Blurp]

It’s Mrs. B’s birthday today...it’s a mixed one, given the sudden loss of her twin, so it’s lower key than usual.

I did though, as a special treat, show her the colourful ensemble. She said to pass on that she thought it ‘bleeping hideous’ and ‘I hope one of the kids has bought me some eye bleach because that’s now emblazoned on my retinas’ God I love my wife

Birthday love to Mrs Billy. Mrs Bellend just doesn't seem right.

 

[threeSMEGfridges]

When I was grunking a few hours ago there was still one mention of the password that had been missed in the cull which was like finding the Rosetta Stone. By that point it was decided that slop slagging was verboten due to it being password protected so that was disappointing. I can still post a photo right? I've obscured its identity.

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it’s like staring into the mouth of Hell.

Seriously though is the majority of her 100 hour work week PISSING AROUND ON TWITTER?!

 

[Harrybosch]

The DKL (actual live in the studio) week was a weird style phase for Jack, she seemed...confused. Remember the Femme t-shirt photo? Can’t easily find the original photo so please accept this artist impression.

View attachment 540583

Thanks for protecting her privacy. X

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

Come on Jack, surely tv editors are emailing you to ask for a comment on this viral tweet...

Surely though, being the single mother she is and apparently the reason she ended up play acting a poor person, you’d think she’d jump right on stuff like this.

Nope, just instead looking like Krusty The Clown for some likes on Twitter.

Ps. Didn’t squiggle with it being a blue ticker.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Marmalade why must you bring us these horrors? That hair video is very upsetting and unsettling. I was cringing so hard it gave me the eye wets.

Now I have 'Goodbye Horses' in my head thanks to the Silence of the Lambs references.

And you say, 'It thickens in the oven'
And I say, 'Oh no sir, I must say you're wrong
I must disagree, oh no sir, I must say you're wrong'
Won't you listen to me
Good-bye horses, I'd rather not milk you
Good-bye horses, I prefer self-love stew

 

[colouredlines]

She does have very nice hair, but she does some godawful things to it. I mean, nothing will ever top the Hopkins-era red fright wig, but the reverse rat's tail was a valiant effort. Now she's rocking the hipster barista circa 2013 look.

Even when it was long, she had that centre parting style that didn't really suit her - it made her hair look too flat and too heavy. It's a shame, because I genuinely think she has lovely hair that could look great in many different styles.

I still wouldn't collect it in an old Del Monte tin and light fires with it, mind you.

 

[Malkiavelli]

Come on Jack, surely tv editors are emailing you to ask for a comment on this viral tweet...

Surely though, being the single mother she is and apparently the reason she ended up play acting a poor person, you’d think she’d jump right on stuff like this.

Nope, just instead looking like Krusty The Clown for some likes on Twitter.

Ps. Didn’t squiggle with it being a blue ticker.

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Surprised she hasn’t bitten. It’s a very fair point though, what’s the use in anything if important, meaningful and worthwhile jobs don’t pay the bills - it’s a disgrace

 

[lalalanded]

Is it tonight or next week, the “Jack and the multicolour trousers of nightmares” event?

OMG your avatar . I'm scared.

 

[Bwidge]

I'm not sure where this will land, so I hope it's not in a terrible place (I'm still on #181), but I went to Ikea this evening and spotted this!

 

[PunkyMonkey]

You can't use mushroom instead of garlic that is not how this works, that is not how any of this works!
I double the garlic in most recipes I use. Imagine replacing it with mushrooms. Good God. I think I might be having a stroke.

(NB I love mushrooms, I think my point is clear)

ETA not even an onion! Christ almighty.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

What.

I'm not sure where this will land, so I hope it's not in a terrible place (I'm still on #181), but I went to Ikea this evening and spotted this!View attachment 540656

Is this the real life?

Is this just fantasy?

 

[Oxford_Girl]

Mom has sent the trifle defender get well wishes complete with a x. Nigella is pure class on Twitter

 

[Sideboard Bob]

I'm not sure where this will land, so I hope it's not in a terrible place (I'm still on #181), but I went to Ikea this evening and spotted this!View attachment 540656

Oh come ON! Whichever frau done this, I salute you!