Jack Monroe #178 I am a human being and I make mistakes

[Boyo]

I bet you're being triangulated right now!

Forensically!!

 

[Orphan_Black]

Ahem.

Christmas dinner
Valentine's Day fruity Yorkshire puddings
Mother's Day cake
Easter repurposed Mother's Day cake
Advertorial about how to look after your money
Instagram Live chicken
Tin can handicrafts (claimed by Jack as part of the partnership, not mentioned by Del Monte)
Grazia advertorial featuring the spurious claim "I like to snack on canned fruit"

er...

Twitter poll asking her readers which ingredient she should use?
Photo teasing the numerous Del Monte recipes she'd been working on? (just before Valentine's Day)

Am I missing anything?

Using the old cans to make fire hazards!

 

[colouredlines]

MASSIVE HORSE PISS!

I’ll admit I jumped through it. Some points to note. Best selling (nope) answering hundreds of queries on Twitter (not chippy chips).

best quote ‘yours might be nicer, but mine is cheaper’ really selling it there.

Is there any context where that quote sounds appealing?

 

[FunnyFuneral]

Spoiler: OT grand designs bingo

other things
Giant windows shipped from Germany
Over budget three months in
Sack project manager so wife has to do it
Husband overextends his ideas
Living in a caravan best part of a year
Prefab house
Cantilever (somewhere)
bare concrete floors
There’s a bit at the back not done yet

I love that program

Spoiler: OT grand designs bingo

other things
Giant windows shipped from Germany
Over budget three months in
Sack project manager so wife has to do it
Husband overextends his ideas
Living in a caravan best part of a year
Prefab house
Cantilever (somewhere)
bare concrete floors
There’s a bit at the back not done yet

I love that program

My husband loves it, I laugh at a (very similar) bingo card. Mean old she wolf of a wife oh well he loves (puts up with me most of the time) me anyway, & i love him x he's been my liege man since the day we met xx

 

[Orphan_Black]

State of that fucking kitchen, though . Jack tried to recreate it at some point after moving out

View attachment 527311

Now that's a fucking state! Dirty washing up as a bonus treat!

 

[kachoochoo]

ooh, it's THAT MAN's one pot wonder time!

 

[veryfondoftea]

I didn't think she could do it but she shocked me.

My kids drive me bonkers at times but I couldn't be away for them for days at a time. I just couldn't.

She’s quite disgusting. When my daughter has a sleepover at her grandparents, pre COVID this would happen a few times a year, I looked forward to it so much, to have a break and have some time to myself. I never gloated about it on social media though

 

[Captainmouse]

This had me hooting

I nominate Two Cheeks bot as thread mascot!

I nominate arsebot as #thread title

 

[Orphan_Black]

Hold up, I was so distracted by the mess I didn't see the comment, 15 or so other residences? What?

 

[Bobtheknob]

Perhaps she trying to make L jealous. If you don't want me, I will run off with this person. I do kind of get those vibes from her.

I get, "you can't leave me Lord Jesus Christ, I'm ill, very ill, very very ill, very very very ill, very very very very ill........ I'll move in and you can take care of me," vibes from her.

 

[Eurgh]

She has so far only pooed on the street (usually in an inconvenient spot) so no leaves are kicked. She does like canned fish. I will report back on any other Jack similarities and whether the moon cycle syncs with the howls next month.

Is she....puppyish?

 

[Lanie]

Tbf the fibroma( if that what she has) maybe did frighten her a bit because it's a benign lump so maybe she was curious about it.

It's a bit sick she did on a public forum, but you know....

I was reading up on mouth cancers and they don't tend to come up a big lumps. So I think she might be ok, they will probably biopsy it to be on the safe side.

 

[Captainmouse]

Bet the blue kitchen has a dishwasher.


It certainly has a freezer that will 'accidentally' stop working the moment her back's turned and LJC wants to slip some Duchy Organic Chocolate & Cornish Sea Salt Ice Cream in there to get away from frozen boiled skimmed milk and flour with some dog chocolate and magnesium salts.

Have you copyrighted that, before it is stolen by a smol pixie? Right up in her niche

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

New thread Cabal

Jack Monroe #179 Emotionally charged and ends with the threat of a lawyer

Congratulations to @TheDragonWithAFlagon on the thread title. Welcome to thread 179 cool caballers. More and more squiggles and our beloved journalist are on the case of Jack's latest pile on. People are waking up and smelling the BS. DKL episodes no longer available on iplayer but photos of...

tattle.life

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[blurstoftimes]

Owen be like.

imagine how much of a total pain in the arse pregnant jack would be

 

[Readingismyhobby]

View attachment 524954View attachment 524955

There are a lot of undistinguishable crunchy brown “bits” in the “recipe “

 

[HotesTilaire]

Noooo lets Not go deeper....it will be like layers of an ONION chop chop

 

[Orphan_Black]

my god I thought my house was cluttered...... how would someone autistic survive in that environment?!


her crepe probably slipped from the bannister onto her outfit

The magnetic spice containers are just behind Jack, to the edge of the photo. Did she steal them?

her crepe probably slipped from the bannister onto her outfit

I've now also just realised it's these pancakes in the banister bowls! Ahhh, I get the lemon squeezing now!!!

 

[moosesauna]

View attachment 527061

Ok but that username essexgirl's twin??