Jack Monroe #179 Emotionally charged and ends with the threat of a lawyer

[People-huv-tae-know]

Congratulations to @TheDragonWithAFlagon on the thread title.
Welcome to thread 179 cool caballers.


More and more squiggles and our beloved journalist are on the case of Jack's latest pile on. People are waking up and smelling the BS.

DKL episodes no longer available on iplayer but photos of Jack doing awkward superhero stances are.

Jack has ruined Paella by overcooking various plesiosaurs into it and other crimes against food. Spain wants a word in your shell like Jack.

Vegan Paella recipe *impatient foot tapping*
Jack did not delete all of her awful tweets including the threat to sue. This is despite gracious tweets from the victim.

In the absence of Cooper floofy butts, Jack is promoting the slop files and acting like nothing has happened.

Jack is being uncharacteristically quiet on Twitter. She couldn't help but compare herself to Donatella Versace. The poor little rich girl revealing her true blue Tory self again.

Jack and Owen Jones tweet about making test tube whoopie.

Special mention to @traumatised sideboard for bestowing us with the sublime Arsebot. That felt like Christmas and a birthday.

What will this zany chundercunt do next?

Spoiler: Housekeeping

Housekeeping

*]

Please use the words ‘thread title’ (two separate words) when making a bid for one as it makes it easier to search. Also, try to hold off to the latter part of the thread if possible (after post #500). And remember - no swears are allowed.


There is a thread in the off topic forum called Food and Drink where off topic chat is encouraged if / when Jack is quiet.


New to Jack? Have a look at the wiki.

 

[Hollaaa]

Brilliant recap! Zany chundercunt is the icing on the fanny cake.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

This won’t help our reputation as some sort of extremist “middle aged menopausal” splinter cell of hate so great even m*msnet won’t tolerate us, but omg whiteboard pen next to white grouting

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Brilliant recap! Zany chundercunt is the icing on the fanny cake.

That is not a cake I want to try! It is good fun though perilous at times to steer the good ship Hausfrau through sloppy waters.

 

[LavaFlake]

This won’t help our reputation as some sort of extremist “middle aged menopausal” splinter cell of hate so great even m*msnet won’t tolerate us, but omg whiteboard pen next to white grouting

So many Insta Interior huns I know are using black marker pen to get that black grouting effect that's been so trendy the past couple of years. Who knew R Jackie was so ahead of the curve?

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

This won’t help our reputation as some sort of extremist “middle aged menopausal” splinter cell of hate so great even m*msnet won’t tolerate us, but omg whiteboard pen next to white grouting

It is disgusting though and it means bye bye clean grout. Also I find whiteboard pen kind of clumps into little fibers once dry. So when you wipe it, you wipe and possibly spread all the fibers onto the counter and chopping boards *heaves* drywipe slop seasoning anyone?

 

[HotesTilaire]

It’s all just performative though - proper chef has utensils hung on window, proper chefs write on tiles, it’s pathetic really. These things were born from necessity, she just does it for the aesthetics. Like everything. As long as it looks like she can cook and she’s poor, then she must be!

 

[Stampolina1]

Determined to keep up with this thread in real time! I miss so much stuff!!!!

 

[Captainmouse]

Congratulations to @TheDragonWithAFlagon on the thread title.
Welcome to thread 179 cool caballers.


More and more squiggles and our beloved journalist are on the case of Jack's latest pile on. People are waking up and smelling the BS.

DKL episodes no longer available on iplayer but photos of Jack doing awkward superhero stances are.

Jack has ruined Paella by overcooking various plesiosaurs into it and other crimes against food. Spain wants a word in your shell like Jack.

Vegan Paella recipe *impatient foot tapping*
Jack did not delete all of her awful tweets including the threat to sue. This is despite gracious tweets from the victim.

In the absence of Cooper floofy butts, Jack is promoting the slop files and acting like nothing has happened.

Jack is being uncharacteristically quiet on Twitter. She couldn't help but compare herself to Donatella Versace. The poor little rich girl revealing her true blue Tory self again.

Jack and Owen Jones tweet about making test tube whoopie.

Special mention to @traumatised sideboard for bestowing us with the sublime Arsebot. That felt like Christmas and a birthday.

What will this zany chundercunt do next?

Spoiler: Housekeeping

Housekeeping

*]

Please use the words ‘thread title’ (two separate words) when making a bid for one as it makes it easier to search. Also, try to hold off to the latter part of the thread if possible (after post #500). And remember - no swears are allowed.


There is a thread in the off topic forum called Food and Drink where off topic chat is encouraged if / when Jack is quiet.


New to Jack? Have a look at the wiki.

Just to ssy DKL in the wiki for those requiring torture

 

[maryish]

I mainly lurk, so sorry if this has been shared before.

 

[Malkiavelli]

I mainly lurk, so sorry if this has been shared before.



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Where’s the fun in any of that?

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

I mainly lurk, so sorry if this has been shared before.



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(L) Jesus bleeping Christ. She is awful. Who would put up with that?? That’s not even a joke, a joke would be a normal recipe with one mention of “the knife is the pointy one” or something.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Why would she make Jacks recipe? Why wouldn’t she cook something new/different at least?
Prince always wants to cook things i always make, no, make something else!

 

[discokebab]

I mainly lurk, so sorry if this has been shared before.



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I remember doing management training at Iceland and having to write out how to train someone to defrost a freezer and the person training us was deliberately trying to misunderstand our instructions as part of our training and even they were not as obnoxious as this (and I wasn't snogging them either so it was even less of an emotional text fart)

 

[blurstoftimes]

Where’s the fun in any of that?

That is an incredible amount of words to basically just say throw some stuff in a slow cooker

Seriously, I consider myself a good cook and have followed many recipes in my time but trying to follow that recipe would seriously bleeping stress me out

 

[girolle]

I mainly lurk, so sorry if this has been shared before.



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duck me. Talk about how to insult someone's intelligence. If I were Louisa, I'd do what one person did on Come Dine With Me where they phoned the local takeaway, had it delivered through their kitchen window and dished it up as if they had cooked it themselves!

 

[Malkiavelli]

still no reply from OJ...i feel as if i have manifested her embarrassment becuase hs


That is an incredible amount of words to basically just say throw some stuff in a slow cooker

Indeed. But really, what type of person does this? - don’t think i personally have ever come across anyone even half as anal, controlling and ever ready to gleefully suck all available joy out of even the simplest of tasks..

 

[EllaEm87]

It’s all just performative though - proper chef has utensils hung on window, proper chefs write on tiles, it’s pathetic really. These things were born from necessity, she just does it for the aesthetics. Like everything. As long as it looks like she can cook and she’s poor, then she must be!

The amount of clutter she surrounds herself with doesn’t scream poor to me.

Still getting over her comments about SB cruel woman.

 

[Jelly Bean]

It is quite a common thing though - I see it in a few couples I know. The less intelligent one makes a point of putting down and patronising the brighter one - to keep them in their place. Things like telling them to be quiet when they are talking excitedly about something - or rolling their eyes (not saying those are examples of Jack and Louisa's relationship).
Not pleasant.

 

[DorothyZbornak]

I mainly lurk, so sorry if this has been shared before.



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Seems like Louisa’s then colleague had the measure of the situation. I don’t think she means the recipe, dear hearts.