Jack Monroe #170 Outrageous grifting dirtbag

[MancBee]

She’ll be telling us her ‘I’m mad, me’ routine.

Wake up at 3am, work like a banshee. 03:30 put tea in slow cooker, put on Denis Nilsen costume for 20 hour workday on minimum wage. Tweet. Boil gruel for SB for hours (in its own juices). Accidentally conquer fears. 4am run through the house naked and wake everyone up. Tweet that I’m at my rented desk. Go back to sleep until 11:30-12 depending on whether or not I’m pretending to have SB

I knew it. The very next post had me laughing and smirking like a Cheshire cat. Bravo, no one can stay miserable for any length of time with you fantastically funny people around. Comedy scriptwriters the lot of you.

Thanks @PoorPatrol for changing my mood for the day. You should be prescribed by all lady doctors. Sod the red lipstick.

 

[Harrybosch]

Thank you! I have the condensed milk at the ready.

What I really want to try once I've mastered tablet is a little experimentation. As a child in the Middle East, my favourite sweetie was bought from the suq and we called it 'manna'. It was white, full of dessicated coconut and you could taste something like condensed milk. Sadly, I've never found any sort of recipe from any Middle Eastern or Indian cook nor anyone who has heard of it or with whom the description rings a bell. So experimentation it shall be.

I think Middle Eastern manna is very similar to nougat, but with coconut? I had a colleague years ago who would bring boxes in to share.

On topic, Jack is still insufferable and I was one of the 42 views months ago when I fell into a YouTube hole. Nibbly-biscuit-Jack is an idiot.

 

[bladiesla]

All this "I can eat spicier food than you" nonsense reminds me of the Goodness Gracious Me sketch "Goingbout for an English". For you younger Fruas that haven't seen it, it's worth a watch on YouTube. The Indian family all sit around in an English restaurant daring each other to eat the blankets food.

I remember seing that scene as a Dutch teenager and in translated well (I believe it was the Kupar family, trying to be seen as the Coopers (I can't find it, so perhaps it wasn't, haha). I was trying to describe the scene to someone recently, who had no clue what I was talking about and it warms my heart it getting a mention here!

ETA: Found it:

 

[Pocahontas]

Whispers where’s the wiki gone?

It’s still there in the wiki section, never fear - but the links to the threads aren’t working for now (have a look in the forum business where it’s explained)

 

[Harrybosch]

I tend to put in things that I'd use or like myself (and which are on the list of items needed). So sometimes that's a 'posh' version rather than the cheapest available. As much as I dislike the way she describes nibbling away at the posh biscuits, I like the idea of not just putting the most el cheapo items in the donation box.
But I'll take any advice from Fraud with more insight into this.

(Tbf, often I just donate money directly to the food bank so that can spent it the best way)

I think that's the best. Check what your foodbank needs and the give whatever you'd have in that category. It's ridiculous to suggest that posh biscuits are required. I don't buy posh biscuits for myself and still feel fully human.

 

[Flash123]

All this "I can eat spicier food than you" nonsense reminds me of the Goodness Gracious Me sketch "Goingbout for an English". For you younger Fruas that haven't seen it, it's worth a watch on YouTube. The Indian family all sit around in an English restaurant daring each other to eat the blankets food.

Jack reminds me of those awful cringeworthy people that go to an Indian restaurant and think it is some sort of a challenge to eat the spiciest food on the menu. She really is that sad.

As I've got a chilli allergy I rarely go to an Indian reastaurant. My allergy is a proper one, life threatening one, not a pouty liped hospital photograph one. After that girl died eating Pret sandwich, and another died here in Manchester after eating a takeaway, she should be ashamed of her performative hospital visit minimising the seriousness of a true allergy.

I woke up in a grump this morning. I am sure you lot will cheer me up soon enough.

I loved that episode.

hope you have a nice day, dear heartxx

 

[Captainmouse]

All this "I can eat spicier food than you" nonsense reminds me of the Goodness Gracious Me sketch "Goingbout for an English". For you younger Fruas that haven't seen it, it's worth a watch on YouTube. The Indian family all sit around in an English restaurant daring each other to eat the blankets food.

Jack reminds me of those awful cringeworthy people that go to an Indian restaurant and think it is some sort of a challenge to eat the spiciest food on the menu. She really is that sad.

As I've got a chilli allergy I rarely go to an Indian reastaurant. My allergy is a proper one, life threatening one, not a pouty liped hospital photograph one. After that girl died eating Pret sandwich, and another died here in Manchester after eating a takeaway, she should be ashamed of her performative hospital visit minimising the seriousness of a true allergy.

I woke up in a grump this morning. I am sure you lot will cheer me up soon enough.

Bib that’s our job

 

[MaineCoonMama]

I've been using the food bank since Covid hit and MC Dad isn't working. Last month I got a box of Twinings tea and I did a hoot with the joyful glee of a decent cuppa.

I don't think it matters what you choose to or can afford to donate, Jack's probably lying about the biscuits anyway

 

[Cookiecookie]

Goodness Gracious Me was such a funny show. She is totally like that, just absolutely faux competitive for no reason other than to show off.

 

[jordishaw]

Thank you! I have the condensed milk at the ready.

What I really want to try once I've mastered tablet is a little experimentation. As a child in the Middle East, my favourite sweetie was bought from the suq and we called it 'manna'. It was white, full of dessicated coconut and you could taste something like condensed milk. Sadly, I've never found any sort of recipe from any Middle Eastern or Indian cook nor anyone who has heard of it or with whom the description rings a bell. So experimentation it shall be.

Spoiler: coconut joy

off topic, have you tried Claudia Roden's coconut jam from A Book of Middle Eastern Food?

 

[MancBee]

I made two awful spelling mistakes in my "Goodness Gracious Me" post (fixed now) but it has been quoted so many times I can't hide my shame. Blankets instead of blandest for goodness sake. I will do a Jack and I will find someone (or thing) to blame, because it can't be my fault.

 

[waffle maker]

She's relentless- so much to catch up today.

I followed her on Twitter at the time of the ECGs etc. In my memory it was linked to the binding, but I'm not sure.

I have no good claims to fame, but Lisa from Steps does live near me so....

@Blurp don't think I've tried the coconut thing, but Knaufeh (and all the million spellings) is the middle eastern snack most often celebrated on the local reddit. My favourite is Manakesh again all the spellings, and obviously Shwarma.

 

[Adayinthelife]

Hello Fraus, just popping in to say I’ve been slightly absent, and I can’t really be arsed to grunk through 3/4 threads, but I can see that nothing has changed with our dearheart favourite grifter anyway
Anyways, some of us have actual things to do that the people that ask them to do those things for them pay us money for - wish I could get Mel Donte to give me £££ for doing not a lot but that’s life

 

[Veronicaaa]

- question to @Veronicaaa , would your friend happen to have access to all of the book sales she has ever solid? (sorry if you've already been asked this)

Have requested these figs, will let you all know if I receive them.

 

[Vroo]

My friend volunteers for a charity who provide foodbank items, and pre lockdown community cafe and community cooking classes- classes are so valuable as some people have never had the opportunity to learn to cook, or be in a a position to be able to afford to try to cook things. Jack could have & still could do so much in her community to help, instead of shouting on Twitter
Edit - tried to add a spoiler but didn’t work so have deleted that bit!

 

[colouredlines]

This popped up on my FB feed. Compare it with the "abuse" Jack constantly complains about. "That's not how you make a béchamel" or "The book has too many sandwiches" aren't even in the same league, are they?

 

[Veronicaaa]

I'm here still trying to parse "I don’t want to use the word ‘honour’ as there’s no inherent nobility in suffering".
You don't want to say 'it was an honour to take part' because you think that would imply there's a nobility to your suffering?

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Comparing google results / press coverage for campaign outcomes for Jack versus her “peers” Jamie Oliver and Marcus Rashford.

It’s almost as if she’s done... duck all.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Also, wrt her awakening the sentient brand that is Pot Noodle, I can't help but wonder .... why is she so much better at advertising the things she's NOT being paid to advertise?

 

[FlashBoof]

Solving poverty by guided meditation? Really was a wankfest then.

This, this, this ! When I saw that I thought “well you people can duck right off and then duck off some more”.

What on gods green earth do these people think when they put these schemes together? ...and nothing shows off Jacks pathetic middle class disguised as poor situation more if she thinks this can ever be part of a solution to people juggling twenty quid between a bit of gas and some basics branded shopping.