Jack Monroe #170 Outrageous grifting dirtbag

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Looking forward to Jack’s hot take on Orlando Bloom’s morning routine in about 6 days time...
She’ll be telling us her ‘I’m mad, me’ routine.

Wake up at 3am, work like a banshee. 03:30 put tea in slow cooker, put on Denis Nilsen costume for 20 hour workday on minimum wage. Tweet. Boil gruel for SB for hours (in its own juices). Accidentally conquer fears. 4am run through the house naked and wake everyone up. Tweet that I’m at my rented desk. Go back to sleep until 11:30-12 depending on whether or not I’m pretending to have SB

 
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A canal/cabal/cable is the collective term for a bunch of Sad HausFraus and mithering bullying ninnies

How about a twunt of twactivists?

Edit to add. 90s cool kids- her love for pot noodles further convince me that she is in fact Peter off Fist of Fun
 
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oh, great, here comes interacting with sentient brands on twitter jack 🙄

coming soon - "anyone else noticed that the blue innocent smoothie is green! 😮"
 
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So what are the actions they have all taken away to deliver off the back of this?
when I have a work meeting I generally don’t leave without an action, sometimes small which needs to be delivered and followed up on.Obviously I know the answer to this but sick of seeing tax payers money being spunked by whoever whether it is the tories or taking heads of quangos or professional grifters.

Any way looking forward to the company accounts after 31st March. No one so high and mighty would be a tax dodger, would they?

oh, great, here comes interacting with sentient brands on twitter jack 🙄

coming soon - "anyone else noticed that the blue innocent smoothie is green! 😮"
She’s like the internet explorer parody Twitter account
 
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She’ll be telling us her ‘I’m mad, me’ routine.

Wake up at 3am, work like a banshee. 03:30 put tea in slow cooker, put on Denis Nilsen costume for 20 hour workday on minimum wage. Tweet. Boil gruel for SB for hours (in its own juices). Accidentally conquer fears. 4am run through the house naked and wake everyone up. Tweet that I’m at my rented desk. Go back to sleep until 11:30-12 depending on whether or not I’m pretending to have SB

Yikes don’t tell her about the ‘What did you do today thread’. She’ll have a field day.
 
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Wonder if Jack follows Stacey Soloman on Instagram. Her new house is very sweet and her garden is to die for! I wouldn’t normally have any interest in that woman at all but I think her sheer enthusiasm is really endearing.

Cue possible rage over still RENTING or rattling tip jar for fantasy forever home...?
 
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Wonder if Jack follows Stacey Soloman on Instagram. Her new house is very sweet and her garden is to die for! I wouldn’t normally have any interest in that woman at all but I think her sheer enthusiasm is really endearing.

Cue possible rage over still RENTING or rattling tip jar for fantasy forever home...?
Oh my god I thought the same. The house looks beautiful. Not exactly a huge SS or Joe Swash fan here but every happiness to her and her family there. That kind of thing must make Monroe seeeeeeethe. Especially as an X-factor contestant turned TV presenter herself!
 
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[QUOTE]Vroo
Active member

Today at 8:53 PM
Blurp said:
Scottish Baking 😁. Note that the front cover quote is from Mom. Sue Lawrence is from Dundee so talks about butteries but has had some tuition in the art of rowies.
Her tablet recipe is the best 🥰 pre phone/internet I copied this down without buying buying the book in Waterstones because I was a poor school pupil!!!
my new jack book is an education - so many random ingredients, no pictures, too much text etc etc[/QUOTE]


I was really disappointed that tablet wasn't in this one! Can you remember which book it was in (or maybe still have the recipe? 😘)? I may have Scottish Kitchen lurking somewhere but I've a feeling it might be the F Marion McNeill book instead. I do have Clarissa Double-Barrelled's book though, complete with deep fried Mars bar.
 
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Well, this has somehow infiltrated my YouTube recommended list (another joyful distraction now tainted by the bootstrapcock 🙄)
It's only bloody got 42 views, so why have I been cursed?
duck sake.

Would anyone care to speculate how much of the 2min 8sec is spent referring to self?
 
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I made it to the bit where she's talking about posh biscuits making her feel like a human or something.
 
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Doesn't sound like she shared those biccies with SB 🙁 but perhaps he got lots of lovely treats from both sets of grandparents and his daddy (I hope so).
 
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I made it to the bit where she's talking about posh biscuits making her feel like a human or something.
Yup, sitting there in her cold RENTED flat with no heating, the fridge unplugged and with her small child she somehow made the fancy M&S biscuits last a whole week by nibbling round the edges. This made her feel like a whole, human person rather Mrs Tattlemouse Tittlemouse from Beatrix Potter.

Ooh, Brucie bonus! There's a spontaneous mention of tinned fruit at 19seconds in👍🏼🍍
 
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You missed the bit about dire poverty, no heating and a switched off fridge
It’s like the time my electric keypad meter ran out and I was too hungover to visit the shop for a top up when the online system was down for a few hours. I just wish she would admit she is doing really well for once in her life and stop pretending to be poor. It is exhausting. I (allegedly) earn more than she does but would never spend the sheer amount of money on curtains and sideboards.
 
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It starts off well, letting folks know what food banks need. Then Jack somehow makes it about her. The woman is unreal.
 
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