Jack Monroe #16 Queen of the freezer, bathtime teaser & blue tick pleaser

[The Devils Arse]

I hope that Jack has the decency to properly test the recipes for this book. When I'm low something as minor as spilling water when I'm making coffee can set me spiralling. Depressed people certainly don't need recipes that are destined to fail.

Nope, she has 589023 recipes to "concoct" this week, no time to test out any recipes. However if you are willing to pay $84 a month you can test them for her!


eta - there are only 17 spots left for this opportunity.

 

[Saturn.]

Working up a little TV sponsor project to pitch to Smeg in my role as Jack's imaginary agent. Still at an early stage, but with inspiration from Dani Dyer ...

Current idea revolves around the strapline 'Whatever happens, you'll always smell Beggy with Smeggy'. Plan is to have a special guest each week who interacts with Jack as she prepares one of her signature dishes in the shed. Pilot episode filmed today with James Corden. He was a great sport, and really adored the new weekly challenge - 'Is this my Anchovy paste, or something else?'. Any ideas for other guests? 1 million plus blue tickers only please.

 

[Flumps]

Nope, she has 589023 recipes to "concoct" this week, no time to test out any recipes. However if you are willing to pay $84 a month you can test them for her!


eta - there are only 17 spots left for this opportunity.

Of course it has a cutesy name. 'Hocus pocus focus group'. Sigh.

 

[J4n0Z]

Enjoying the chat - can I just recommend Hunderby to any Julia Davis fans out there? It's on Prime and I *think* you have to pay for it but well worth it. Dark, filthy and extremely funny.

 

[PennyLoafer]

Working up a little TV sponsor project to pitch to Smeg in my role as Jack's imaginary agent. Still at an early stage, but with inspiration from Dani Dyer.

Current idea revolves around the strapline 'Whatever happens, you'll always smell Beggy with Smeggy'. Plan is to have a special guest each week who interacts with Jack as she prepares one of her signature dishes in the shed. Pilot episode filmed today with James Corden, He was a great sport, and really adored the new weekly challenge - 'Is this Anchovy paste, or something else?'. Any ideas for other guests? 1 million plus blue tickers only please.

Brilliant, @Saturn. !
PS Your excellent work here did not go unnoticed...

 

[Pocahontas]

Enjoying the chat - can I just recommend Hunderby to any Julia Davis fans out there? It's on Prime and I *think* you have to pay for it but well worth it. Dark, filthy and extremely funny.

Oh yes - love it. Also, her recent thing, Sally4Ever I think is on Sky. Her usual brand of funny / dark / filthy.

 

[Mycuppatea]

Can you recommend any particular YouTubers? This sounds really relaxing

Some of the ones I watch most are: Nyangsoop, Cardsu, mylifeispretty, ivykitchen, I'm an ordinary mother jin, cafe709, slowday, Rhea y.

I think I like Cardsu and ivykitchen most but they're all really relaxing with nice aesthetics.

 

[Pocahontas]

Sounds perfect.

I’m most probably not relaxing in any way to watch while cooking as I’m a dropper and a spiller. And my cleaning skills are not zen. But, great! I’ll DM you the payment details X

 

[Saturn.]

Brilliant, @Saturn. !
PS Your excellent work here did not go unnoticed...
View attachment 133736

I did notice someone make a claim to the 'Beg for a Smeg' copyright - but don't mind as the Anchovy challenge could become the new 'Carpool Karaoke'.

P.S. Couldn't help but notice Jack responded to Smeg, but not the kind person who actually answered her dilemma regarding the pastel shade.

 

[Mycuppatea]

I’m most probably not relaxing in any way to watch while cooking as I’m a dropper and a spiller. And my cleaning skills are not zen. But, great! I’ll DM you the payment details X

No hurry. Wait a couple of years and then ask me to pay more for postage

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Nope, she has 589023 recipes to "concoct" this week, no time to test out any recipes. However if you are willing to pay $84 a month you can test them for her!


eta - there are only 17 spots left for this opportunity.

"I will thank you personally" in other words, "I'll pinch your ideas and pass them off as mine, and never publicly thank you"

 

[Pocahontas]

"I will thank you personally" in other words, "I'll pinch your ideas and pass them off as mine, and never publicly thank you"

Yep so she’s basically asking for people to pay for the ‘privilege’ of honing her recipes, doing all the testing she should be doing, tasting said monstrosities, and she’ll take the credit. Who would want to pay that princely sum for the misfortune of being her taster??

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Nope, she has 589023 recipes to "concoct" this week, no time to test out any recipes. However if you are willing to pay $84 a month you can test them for her!


eta - there are only 17 spots left for this opportunity.

I’m assuming she’ll have put up a round number, so she could potentially have at least 3 people subscribed on this tier?

There’s been points I’ve wondered why she’s not better monetised her social media presence, then you see this and realise there’s really no need to even try

 

[Bellybutton lint]

I noticed that she posted this in response to a foodbank users question. She's suddenly remembered that they exist, eight days before her book comes out. How timely. Just like the last time she had a book in the offing.

Just to go back to the 2019 Scotsman interview that someone posted on (I think) the last thread, one thing that stands out is that the interviewer doesn't challenge her on this. In fact, no interviewers ever challenge her on any of her BS.

View attachment 133723

Encourage people to donate to food banks? Yes, great. Donate a percentage of the proceeds of your book to food banks? Yes, also great. But urge people to buy your non-essential book for food banks? Brazen hustle. She derails the question and gets away with it. And there's been plenty of spoon-licking, skimpy pants, gratuitous boobage etc to appeal to a certain element of her fanbase.

And this is a horribly rude and patronising way to talk about her social media audience. Contradictory, too, given her insistence on keeping her DMs open, despite all the 'abuse', because people NEED HER. Her followers don't expect to be kept 'under control'. The poor slavish fools either want advice and/or a little attention from her, or they want to show how virtuous they are by supporting her. Ugh.

View attachment 133731

Penns, you have wrapped up exactly what JM is. A morally and ethically bankrupt person.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

I noticed that she posted this in response to a foodbank users question. She's suddenly remembered that they exist, eight days before her book comes out. How timely. Just like the last time she had a book in the offing.

Just to go back to the 2019 Scotsman interview that someone posted on (I think) the last thread, one thing that stands out is that the interviewer doesn't challenge her on this. In fact, no interviewers ever challenge her on any of her BS.

View attachment 133723

Encourage people to donate to food banks? Yes, great. Donate a percentage of the proceeds of your book to food banks? Yes, also great. But urge people to buy your non-essential book for food banks? Brazen hustle. She derails the question and gets away with it. And there's been plenty of spoon-licking, skimpy pants, gratuitous boobage etc to appeal to a certain element of her fanbase.

And this is a horribly rude and patronising way to talk about her social media audience. Contradictory, too, given her insistence on keeping her DMs open, despite all the 'abuse', because people NEED HER. Her followers don't expect to be kept 'under control'. The poor slavish fools either want advice and/or a little attention from her, or they want to show how virtuous they are by supporting her. Ugh.

View attachment 133731

She is really something! Those are the mugs that are filling up her tip jar. So ungrateful! There will be hundreds if not thousands of people who work hard at recipes, perfect them, try and get into the market...and she’s somehow became a national treasure with next to no effort. Grrrrr

 

[Bellybutton lint]

Today I did some yoga in the garden. That was fun. Both cats Fred and Barney decided it would be fun to lay on me, take up my space and roll around. It didn't help that my old boy planted catnip in the border.

She is really something! Those are the mugs that are filling up her tip jar. So ungrateful! There will be hundreds if not thousands of people who work hard at recipes, perfect them, try and get into the market...and she’s somehow became a national treasure with next to no effort. Grrrrr

I have a feeling that this latest cookbook is going to be her downfall. (my opinion, don't sue me).

I peeled 4 (that’s four) cloves of garlic earlier. Didn’t even break a sweat. Where’s my TV show, eh, EH?

You are getting a pop up bakery to keep us supplied for court Flumps. xx

Buy my book and keep my legacy alive says JM.

That book, Good food for bad times says depprecipes. It has that anchovy paste that makes my ovaries go oompfff

 

[Flumps]

Today I did some yoga in the garden. That was fun. Both cats Fred and Barney decided it would be fun to lay on me, take up my space and roll around. It didn't help that my old boy planted catnip in the border.

You are getting a pop up bakery to keep us supplied for court Flumps. xx

Hah. My cat featured on I think all of my video calls today.

Good point. Though that Mary Berry has her own TV show and after all, what's the difference between me and her? Apart from her extensive TV experience and calm and professional manner?

ETA: Oooooooo! I am a VIP member suddenly. Do I get a gifted Smeg fridge? The keys to the horse spunk kingdom? Exciting!

 

[Bellybutton lint]

Garlic cloves in hot water. You are bleeping kidding me.

HI Matt, yes,I thought JM was awful. Shall we meet for dinks?

I furloughed my admin assistant, I just can't do it all.

 

[Betty Neumar]

Today I did some yoga in the garden. That was fun. Both cats Fred and Barney decided it would be fun to lay on me, take up my space and roll around. It didn't help that my old boy planted catnip in the border.

You were wearing jeans and a floppy crop top, yes?

 

[Andie_H]

Madam has discovered a social conscience over Amazon it seems. Never seemed to bother her before.

View attachment 133005
Forgot the pic like a twit.

Yeah like her boycotting Wilkos... oh wait, she didn't . Bespoke social conscience you got there Jack, tailor-made to only when it suits.

GRRRRRRRRRR I've popped by to catch up and already I want to scream very very LOUDLY .