Jack Monroe #16 Queen of the freezer, bathtime teaser & blue tick pleaser

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She has no space anywhere else. That's right, her kitchens is smaller than that of a doll's house and those tiny cupboards cannot be used for storing potatoes.


She has no space anywhere else. That's right, her kitchens is smaller than that of a doll's house and those tiny cupboards cannot be used for storing potatoes.
She has an entire shed!
 
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I agree but I can also understand why they enable her. She’s coming out with all this bollocks with no basis, so if her family called her out she’d just twist that and add it into her narrative, claiming her family are unsupportive. They might reason that it’s best to keep their mouths shut rather than give her ammunition

There’s also the issue of her son. Her family members are likely extra reluctant to challenge her because they want to maintain contact with him, both for his and their sakes

I suspect her extended family and anyone important to them know what Jack’s really like. Of course it’s not nice to be talked badly of to thousands of people, but it probably doesn’t affect their day to day lives, particularly as Jack subtly & passively slags them off rather than actively blaming them

For all her threats of a court case, she’s keen on basically committing libel against her own family
I wonder if the family just accept that these stories are just part of the “brand” because let’s face it, she’s not a great cook.
cooking from tins is not the strongest USP, there’s people doing it better.
she’s clinging to her “poor mother” stereotype and when that’s not enough she’s jumped on to another bandwagon or creates insane stories for press.
i think it’s just something she has to do to pay her (minimum) wage.
 
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I thought we’d talked everyone down from the lockdown crushes on cabinet members!
It’s become worse actually, there’s a containment thread
Don’t go in there unless your stomach is strong enough to handle Jack’s peach and chickpea curry
You’ve been warned
 
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Vengeance is mine says Jack:


In universal punishment for becoming a Chatty member, I’ve just discovered my garage freezer (only place where there’s room, don’t have 3, no Smeg or #kindly gifted sadly, etc.) was fecking unplugged by mistake on Friday. I could weep. I did swear.

Since then, however, I’ve sacrificed a few bags of frozen veg and fruit, and a long forgotten packet of scampi; the kids are delighted to be having some weird mix of all the back-really-late-from-work bung in the oven dipper type beige tit they love
and have been missing since I’ve been home to make things from scratch EVERY night since mid-March; I’ve got a load of stuff marinating, slow cooker is primed; and I’ve got a couple of unexpected pasta sauces on the go.

And I managed to do that without Twitter and within 20 minutes of discovering the duck-up.

where’s my book deal, eh?
 
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She has an entire shed!
Shed? Shed? What are you talking about? That shed was gifted to her by Tracy Emin's hat maker and holds sentimental value to her. It CANNOT be used for storing spuds. Suggesting this makes you the worst troll of trolls as well as a pathetic Hausfrau.
 
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My tuppence worth on food storage: if it's not refrigerated in the shop, it doesn't need to be so at home.

I think only meat, fish and dairy need to go in the fridge tbh.

It's like best before/use by dates - we've become too hung up on this sort of thing and should trust to our senses more.
 
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My tuppence worth on food storage: if it's not refrigerated in the shop, it doesn't need to be so at home.

I think only meat, fish and dairy need to go in the fridge tbh.

It's like best before/use by dates - we've become too hung up on this sort of thing and should trust to our senses more.
You are right on that. Virtually all fruit and veg will last for at least a few days outside the fridge, unless it's very hot. Things like broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage and lettuce do very well in a small amount of water. I used to have a tiny fridge, living in a (rented) flat with three other people. We didn't keep any fruit or veg in the fridge and it was fine.
 
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My tuppence worth on food storage: if it's not refrigerated in the shop, it doesn't need to be so at home.

I think only meat, fish and dairy need to go in the fridge tbh.

It's like best before/use by dates - we've become too hung up on this sort of thing and should trust to our senses more.
I'd say you're right generally - before lockdown I was able to pick up fresh fruit and veg every few days, as and when I needed it. But at the moment veg has to last longer, because I'm not going to the shops as much, so I'm putting stuff I otherwise wouldn't in the fridge (tomatoes, courgettes etc). [edit] NEVER onions or potatoes, I hasten to add!
 
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It’s become worse actually, there’s a containment thread
Don’t go in there unless your stomach is strong enough to handle Jack’s peach and chickpea curry
You’ve been warned
Okay.....I wasn’t going to bring this up. But I feel I’m amongst friends. I’m not happy about this turn of events...but I seem to have developed a crush on Dominic Raab 🙈. I’m sorry! Please still let me chum you all along to Court 🙏🏻. Actually, in a buck-passing fashion I am holding JM responsible! I was perfectly fine until I watched DKL....
 
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Okay.....I wasn’t going to bring this up. But I feel I’m amongst friends. I’m not happy about this turn of events...but I seem to have developed a crush on Dominic Raab 🙈. I’m sorry! Please still let me chum you all along to Court 🙏🏻. Actually, in a buck-passing fashion I am holding JM responsible! I was perfectly fine until I watched DKL....
You’ll have to fight the other Downing Street honeys for him! He’s a popular man
These are crazy times though, what happens during lockdown stays in lockdown in my opinion...
But maybe you could counter-sue Jack for emotional (& moral?) damages :ROFLMAO:
 
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@LennyBriscoe Noooooo! You’re a hard bitten NYC Detective, who’s been around the block a few times, battling some inner demons, with a plethora of zingy one liners, a fine singing voice and a lot of alimony to pay.

You do not suffer fools gladly, and you certainly do NOT have a school girl crush on Dominic Raaaab!
 
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Lauryn Goodman is an embarrassment to woman. She and her sisters and everything that is wrong with the influencer/reality tv culture. Total cretins. The way she is using that baby is so gross. Did you see Kyles ex posted the sex before she got the chance to make money from it?
I didn’t know Kyle Walker’s ex did that! Hilarious!

Edit: please send a link, I need to read about it 🤣

I feel so sorry for that baby. Being conceived in such grubby circumstances, and having a mother milking it for all its worth regardless. Not to mention the father “partying” with prostitutes during lockdown. Utter scumbags, the pair of them.
 
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Okay.....I wasn’t going to bring this up. But I feel I’m amongst friends. I’m not happy about this turn of events...but I seem to have developed a crush on Dominic Raab 🙈. I’m sorry! Please still let me chum you all along to Court 🙏🏻. Actually, in a buck-passing fashion I am holding JM responsible! I was perfectly fine until I watched DKL....
I absolute hate Raab, I shout at him and call him a lying bullshitting piece of tit every time he does a bloody Corona briefing.... and yet.... and yet! He’s got a little arrogant prickish something-something that I find quite sexy 🤦‍♀️ I hate myself. Can that be blacked out from the court transcript please? Your honour, I hereby petition the court to have the aforementioned Raab crush redacted, as it will cause irrevocable damage to my reputation.
 
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She has no space anywhere else. That's right, her kitchens is smaller than that of a doll's house and those tiny cupboards cannot be used for storing potatoes.


She has no space anywhere else. That's right, her kitchens is smaller than that of a doll's house and those tiny cupboards cannot be used for storing potatoes.
What about the cupboard under the *stairs* (crappy bungalows have them you know ;))?
Can't remember now what plans she had for it but probably ideal for vegetable storage).
 
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I absolute hate Raab, I shout at him and call him a lying bullshitting piece of tit every time he does a bloody Corona briefing.... and yet.... and yet! He’s got a little arrogant prickish something-something that I find quite sexy 🤦‍♀️ I hate myself. Can that be blacked out from the court transcript please? Your honour, I hereby petition the court to have the aforementioned Raab crush redacted, as it will cause irrevocable damage to my reputation.

Consider it done. Taking inspiration from my redaction mentor, @Breakdance Badass I have struck the salient text from the record in perpetuity,
 
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I didn’t know Kyle Walker’s ex did that! Hilarious!

Edit: please send a link, I need to read about it 🤣

I feel so sorry for that baby. Being conceived in such grubby circumstances, and having a mother milking it for all its worth regardless. Not to mention the father “partying” with prostitutes during lockdown. Utter scumbags, the pair of them.
I seen it on the wag thread on here. If you have some time I recommend reading it. In the words of JM, it is a hoot.
Also the Michelle keegan one is hot atm. A makeup artist from our girl has been on And spilled all sorts of tea. Amazeballs. Obvs won’t a pinch of salt but I’m loving it.
 
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I absolute hate Raab, I shout at him and call him a lying bullshitting piece of tit every time he does a bloody Corona briefing.... and yet.... and yet! He’s got a little arrogant prickish something-something that I find quite sexy 🤦‍♀️ I hate myself. Can that be blacked out from the court transcript please? Your honour, I hereby petition the court to have the aforementioned Raab crush redacted, as it will cause irrevocable damage to my reputation.
I judge myself intensely for this but I know what you mean! When BJ was in hospital and Raab took over as interim leader, I found myself practically batting my lashes at him when he gave those daily updates.
 
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Off topic but I didn’t think anything could bug me more than her veiny hands or GUMS. But now that hair. That piece of died grey hair. I just can’t 🤢
 
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I didn’t know Kyle Walker’s ex did that! Hilarious!

Edit: please send a link, I need to read about it 🤣

I feel so sorry for that baby. Being conceived in such grubby circumstances, and having a mother milking it for all its worth regardless. Not to mention the father “partying” with prostitutes during lockdown. Utter scumbags, the pair of them.
hop over to the footballers and wags thread, there’s lots on there about them
 
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