Jack Monroe #156 Super crabby ADHD faux vegan is mendacious

[Pocahontas]

Congratulations to @MaineCoonMama for the the words and @fauxpoor and @hollowhusk for the nomination! Your prize: Jack’s sharing platter of ramen and accompaniments (and you must eat dressed as Mary Poppins in honour of your title)


Recap of last thread

1. She added ‘ex fire service’ to her twitter bio. Just so you know.
2. Her face rash and swollen jaw were because of ouchy tooth.
3. She was ‘insane with all consuming agony’, so make sure you go to the dentist like she didn’t.
4. How’s it going, Jack? Erm, 2018 was a while ago.
5. #ThunderClapforCans. Please give her ideas, she’s all out of what you can do with prunes.
6. She made herself some ramen that seemed to involve every colour of the brownbow. Plus egg.
7. Spoiler: Housekeeping

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[Into_the_tunnel]

Sentient Haystack?

#bekind?

loving the recaps as always... we are flying at the moment

 

[Veronicaaa]

I love it when a new thread falls on a Saturday morning!



ETA It *is* Saturday isn't it??

 

[MooBelle]

I was mid post and you jumped threads @Pocahontas !
She daren't go after someone as beloved as Nadiya.
If a Squiggle mentions the article then she'll say how wonderful it is and that she has been working behind the scenes with Nadiya.
She be fewmin
Excellent title by the way!

 

[Emmapism]

I love it when a new thread falls on a Saturday morning!



ETA It *is* Saturday isn't it??

It IS Saturday. And Caroline DOES have hands.

Thanks @Pocahontas for doing the do

 

[Pocahontas]

I love it when a new thread falls on a Saturday morning!



ETA It *is* Saturday isn't it??

You love the smell of brown ramen in the morning.

 

[Veronicaaa]

You love the smell of brown ramen in the morning.

ETA .... She loves this story doesn't she? But I thought in previous tellings of it, she merely *thought* about sending the teacher the book, but then didn't?

Also lol at "straight to #1 in the UK charts'.

 

[colouredlines]

Jack did say she'd be eating the leftovers for breakfast today. I almost feel sorry for her.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Jack did say she'd be eating the leftovers for breakfast today. I almost feel sorry for her.

I wouldn't bother feeling sorry for her ......... she's lying!

 

[Pantomimehorse]

Yeah that didn't happen

 

[NomDeGuerre]

Yeah that didn't happen View attachment 458051

And then everyone stood up and clapped.

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

ETA .... She loves this story doesn't she? But I thought in previous tellings of it, she merely *thought* about sending the teacher the book, but then didn't?

View attachment 458046

Also lol at "straight to #1 in the UK charts'.

Last time she told this story it was 'flipping burgers' so the burger recipe thing doesn't even make sense.

 

[I’MBUSY!]

ETA .... She loves this story doesn't she? But I thought in previous tellings of it, she merely *thought* about sending the teacher the book, but then didn't?

View attachment 458046

Also lol at "straight to #1 in the UK charts'.

Also, the teacher was wrong.

Burgers are beyond her capabilities.

 

[OhHeck]

Jack reminds me of a friend I used to have who had no life other than watching tv and films. As a result, her stories and a lot of her dialogue were like she had taken them directly from a Hollywood blockbuster. 'You'll never amount to anything' - actual people don't say that, they don't use their human mouths and tongues and lips to say these words, let alone to a junior staff member. It's absolute horse tit.

 

[Silver Linings]

Unlike the food. Ba dum.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Yeah that didn't happen View attachment 458051

Live footage of Jack walking away pointedly.

 

[bladiesla]

Someone in the other thread asked if anyone has tried banana skin, and I do sometimes make a bananaskin curry. But those are not lefover skins, you need them quite firm without any brown spots. It's not really cooking with waste.

 

[I’MBUSY!]

View attachment 458065View attachment 458067
Unlike the food. Ba dum.

How very unpleasant she is.

And she went back every week at the same time? Verging on stalkerish/harassing too.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

It wouldn't be the weekend if I wasn't (horse) spunking money at ridiculous bets with increasingly tenuous links to our deal cabal and smol pixie. Today's selections will garner enough dosh for Mulberry handbags all round!

My editing skills are shite but...let's just change "heart" to gob, and "sock" to clap. Also two lucky charms in honour of our dear Marmalade Atkins and Kachoochoo.

 

[Emmapism]

Eeeeeeeeeee she's so desperate to show off isn't she? All she's doing is showing herself up.

These stories get more and more embellished and fantastical over time but we've got the core ones

1) Authority figure/former boss implying she's awful but she gets to have the last laugh because she sold some books
2) A big bad gammon/politician/rando slagged off her tattoos/the fact she had a kid/whatever it is this week and she had the last laugh when she said something hilarious and witty
3) A man comes up to her in a supermarket and whispers how amazing she is because he obviously recognises her as she had the last laugh and sold some books.

It really tickles me that she keeps returning to these little tales as a way to brag. When all it does is show her up as pathetic narc.