Jack Monroe #155 What a sad little life, Jack

[Soapy Dolphin]

I think this is a different thing but I have a really strong sense of smell. It's a blessing and a curse. I have smelt gas leaks when other people couldn't, mold in hard to find places, not visibly off food. Bin lorries, food waste bags, dog tit, meat and cheese all make me heave. The smell gets in my nose and down my throat Jack's cooking would kill me. But I can't smell unusual things like lies or Parkinson's. There are at least two documented women who have that ability. And it is thought some animals like cats a d dogs can smell cancer in humans.

Gosh, babe same! Gas leaks seem to be my speciality. Our hob was leaking a tiny amount. It was detectable on the gasmanwoman's gadget but no one else could smell it. Same with an oven in a caravan. Gasman was impressed with that one. It feels like a (tit) superpower but is so annoying when you're going, "Can you smell that?!" and are met with blank looks. I can't rest until I've located the source. I have persuaded Mr Dolphin not to eat fish on some occasions because my nose was really not happy.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

What infuriates me most is that two of the drawers aren’t closed.

SAME

 

[Harrybosch]

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#bekind

ETA of course I'm late with this hot take. I'm turning into a Jack Monroe

 

[Begborrowsteal]

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bleeping LOL. She got real brave there innit.

 

[waffle maker]

That is a one act play

Haha as some may recall I learned my teaching trade in the mean streets early PFI challenging schools of the south coast. It was quite wild and if you couldn’t tell a good story the young people just told you to duck off and chucked your worksheet and borrowed pen on the floor.

 

[MancBee]

What infuriates me most is that two of the drawers aren’t closed.

Be thankful for small mercies that neither of the drawers was the one "full of cocks".

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Ah, bragging Jack! Owner of a Mulberry bag (that most of us could only ever dream of) because she is a successful author of - counts on fingers - 6? 7 books? But wait, she is still struggling! I cry, for smol Monroe can still not afford the butter block or the forever home

 

[bowiethesdmn]

Be thankful for small mercies that neither of the drawers was the one "full of cocks".

Reminds me of summat that

 

[waffle maker]

Why didn’t she sell the Mulbery bag before she went without butter/ grifted that lady’s winter fuel allowance? Surely that exactly why she says she buys all the designer stuff as investments...?!?

 

[Emmapism]

The first thing I do if I'm a bit short on cash is sell stuff I don't use. Maybe Jack couldn't find the bag in her RENTED hoarder house? And rather than tidy up it was just easier to lie on Twitter about how she needed to tighten her belt.

The people that gave her tip money are likely to never be able to afford anything like a Mulberry bag.

As always, a class act that Jack.

 

[onlysunshine]

I love Terry Pratchett and Discworld, but had no idea about this game! And no, I’ve not discovered fainting goats, please tell me its not as upsetting as it sounds!

On topic, as batshit insane as the “how it started” tweet is, it’s nothing compared to her last full moon chaos tweet, the one about the Tory poster and a painfully intensive comparison.

I was the youngest in a family who LOVED TP. Haven't actually read his books but I did love that game!



I hope that gif is what it looked like from the thumbnail! They are goats who go all stiff and/or fall over when they're excited or scared. Its caused by genetics from what I remember and that responsible owners generally try and minimise excitement/frightening. They're my favourite

 

[FunnyFuneral]

She talks about being 17 and buying herself a suit in the mens department of shops, where "bemused middle aged men harrumphed into their tape measure". This would be in 2005, so the middle aged men would have been teenagers in the 80's, not the 50's.

Pushing the gender boundaries was at its height in the 80's what with the likes of Annie Lenox and Boy George. Women's trouser suits were everywhere. In 2005 gender non conformity was being talked about, Hayley Cropper was in Corry for goodness sake.

Of course it is quite possible that an individual sales assistant would find it strange that she wanted a man's suit for herself. But I doubt they would harrumph if they thought they could get a sale! It is also odd that she never comes across the helpful assistant she always gets the judgemental unhelpful and bigoted one one.

I know my experiences reflect being brought up in a big city, and Manchester in the 60's, 70's and 80's was particularly accepting of alternative lifestyles. But the way she writes about her experiences just don't ring true. They sound like someone telling a story, not recounting true life events. They all sound like she lived in a backwater in the 1950's.

Dont know where this will land but YES MancBee, I was a young adult in the 80s & all the stuff you say is true, we were strutting about in our knickerbocker traazers & new romantic blouses , most of the guys were wearing kajal kohl eyeliner coutersy of Rimmel, it amazes me that this is so forgotten. And my experience was in a small town so all very accepted. I think that people like Jack just look for, & therefore always find offence to be taken. Who bleeping knows

 

[bowiethesdmn]

I love Terry Pratchett and Discworld, but had no idea about this game! And no, I’ve not discovered fainting goats, please tell me its not as upsetting as it sounds!

On topic, as batshit insane as the “how it started” tweet is, it’s nothing compared to her last full moon chaos tweet, the one about the Tory poster and a painfully intensive comparison.

Have you played the first two Discworld point and click games? Don't recall much of the first one but the second was hilarious, can't imagine it's aged too badly either.

Jack-level effort at remaining on topic: Jack still sucks and if I was her publisher I'd massively delay publishing the damn book. Of course they're probably professional and I'm super petty.

 

[Blurp]

I haven't got full sleeves of tattoos but I do have nine individual ones, and I also have a Mulberry bag from when I was prancing around working in Edinburgh in the 1990s. It certainly wasn't anywhere near a grand or even half at the time but my pretty decent tattoos would add up to well over that.

Of course, I got my tattoos done by really good tattooists (a couple of my tattoos were in magazines - people recognised them on me because they'd copied elements for their own! - and done by a known name in the tattoo world), so that's why, Jack ....

 

[HotesTilaire]

I think (don't quote me on this) that he started out in 11 as Chancellor and very shortly afterwards, Blair decided/agreed/whatever that he would move in there because they had a bunch of children, whereas Brown didn't, so they'd swap. Since then, it's suited the PM each time to move into the one most suited to the number of children they have or acknowledge.

Indeed he may have moved between the two more times than anyone else.
me but I had a job which involved going to No10 hence being aware that GB was living at 10 before becoming PM. Some of the key rooms used for guests/receptions/meetings are up the famous stairs. I guess Jack has never had the pleasure of being invited inside proper. The government art collection is very good, however I am more a fan of the work of esteemed frau @Alansbigplate

Can’t believe she’s been measures twice for clothing and both times someone harrumphed into their tape measure about her desire for traaaazers.

Edit to add - and I’ve got a tattoo and everything!!!?

 

[ChickenPorridge]

How come this guy who also has flags in his bio didn't get called - what was it? A flag shagging gammon?

 

[Captainmouse]

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Only if you know the fat content

 

[Lanie]

Does anyone else think the picture of her outside number 10 tells you something.

Not to be a truther but she looks to me like a tourist, perhaps a tourist who's just passing the area as she drops off/ visits her publisher. Like anyone would meet the PM stressed like that. I mean she looks like a desperate housewife and not in the good sense.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[BlendedSlop]

How it started

How it's going

How it'll end up