Jack Monroe #148 Ya prune

[Satisfying Click]

@Soapy Dolphin , when you said, "This one looks more like a JM - sloppy and brown. Forensic Fraus, can you spot anything? Photographed in a tray or drawer perhaps?" I thought I'd give it one last shot. By Jove, I found it! Jack and NotJack must have the same interior decorator.

Jack - I had to do a bit of forensic digging, but like a lot of glove/bird serial killers, our girl got sloppy (LOL) and started working in plain sight. Her stress dinos on Twitter

NotJack

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Reminded of rinsed hoops by vibing to Pet Slop Bots were you, Jack? Perhaps next you would like to address your viscous soup-based assassination attempt of dear heart @MancBee.

@Billybellend it's not jus de cheval, it's Bécheval. I've been waiting for an opportunity to announce Jack's sideline in sauces for some time. We've been quietly and gently working on it together behind the scenes although she never acknowledges me on Twitter no matter how many times I reply to her tweets with white hearts.

 

[MancBee]

She’s done all of this just so she can talk about tampons, cos she’s an irreverent Maverick. I’ve never known someone to go on about boobs, arses, fannies and cocks as much as this idiot. It’s not risqué, Jack. It’s not even funny. You’re just a basic bitch, and probably a total prude at the end of the day.

I can't for the life of me understand why she needed to hide them away in the dining room, regardless of the container. Stick em in the bathroom cabinet, that's where she would use them, surely.

They are not something that needs hiding, her previous live in partners have all been women, so will know what they are. I have never met a grown man to be embarrassed by finding tampons in a woman's home either. They can be explained to her son, as part of educating him about women's bodies. They are not something to be ashamed of so I'm stumped at her thinking.

The only thing I can think of is that she goes into the dining room to insert her tampons. The pink, soft, soft curtains might make her unruly labia look their best. It's the only explanation I can come up with.

 

[Alansbigplate]

 

[NomDeGuerre]

Famously, snow and cold weather does wonders for people with SEVERE arthritis.

 

[Pocahontas]

Congratulations to @Ellabella for the thread title! Your prize: You must eat these. Whatever the hell they are.

Recap of last thread:

1. She called someone a prune. Hope she means the Del Monte type.
2. She made some prune buns that appear to be iced with sausage fat and bacon dripping.
3. She appeared in The Metro talking some nonsense. There have been some angry comments from some vegans.
4. She’s been so BUSY.
5. Too busy to sort through her post. Please send doggos, she’s destitute and don’t you forget it.
6. Let’s all chill out with this sick beat, courtesy of Pet Slop Bots and @traumatised sideboard

Please add anything I’ve missed!

New to Jack? Check out the wiki.

 

[Veronicaaa]

What's the point?

Think this is the point

 

[Switchstreetz]

I'm pretty sure notjack is jack
1/.a self proclaimed "newbie to insta" immediately begins curating a patterned feed of inspirational quotes and food photography, what not a single overfiltered cringey photo with too much vignette???
2/. Newly created insta wades into insta drama on the Linda McCartney account almost immediately after being created (their first photo upload was 28th jan, anyone have date of comment?) tags lots of big vegan accounts that support jack in the obvious hope they'll chip in and defend her
3/. This account defending jack...doesn't follow jack
4/. Claiming to be a brand new vegan - twitter from 2018 tweeting about veganism(and an LNER tweet, what is it with JM and trains?!) with same username is found by tattlers
5/. Immediate deletion of that vegan twitter account with same name when it had previously been inactive for years after we spotted and posted about it on here
6/. Someone on here comments about the editing style/ saturation of photos being like jack's - the next photo of two are in black and white

99% certain its another peeky mink but squiggling out the account doesn't do any harm just to be safe

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Oh lord it's Corner Shop Jack again Parma Violets? In a hot chocolate? At this rate I'm going to have to write an hour-long epic electro-slop opera (a slopera, if you will) to detail all her culinary crimes. I'm also highly tempted to remix her singing but it does feel a bit cruel. To me, I mean - I'd be the one listening to it over and over.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

OT just wanted to say hi and thanks for the entertainment, you guys! I have a real no-fooling chronic illness and spend a lot of time with just my three actual real Maine Coons so I've been devouring these threads and pissing myself laughing/clawing/rage-reading. So good!
Also sorry for the multiple post before, I'm new at this.

 

[Silver Linings]

Sometimes i’m just minding my own business and I think “Founder of the thunderclap” and have a sinking feeling of embarrassment for her.

 

[GreyBudgie]

I discovered JM via the Martin Lewis forum. I followed username Weezl as she put together a plan with veggie/vegan options to feed a family of 4 on £1 a day. Her plans archived on “cheap family recipes” website. JM was active as the bootstrap blogger at the time so was referred to on Weezl’s thread as another cheap recipe genre cook. Have to say, you can sneer all you like at Weezls sincere effort at very low cost family meals and the limited choices, but the ingredients are better quality, more varied and better tested than JM’s body of work. There were already better low cost cooks and bloggers than JM when she started out, and I cannot see any improvement in her work over the years. I found Tattle through Mumsnet. I’ve stayed for the entertainment from you thoughtful, witty, entertaining and caring posters. The vegans here plus the passionate viggle from LM Instagram have turned me vegan too, so if that’s what hanging out with a bunch of trolls does, it’s fine by me

 

[Cunderthunt]

New Metro viggle:

 

[Toot]

Hello! Long time lurker, popping on to say how I came to these threads....I used to like her, but noticed there seemed to be an awful lot of "chaos" happening around her all the time. Some of it started to not add up to me but I thought whatever, you do you, and just unfollowed. Saw the Sali Hughes stuff about tattle and thought ooh I wonder if there's a JM thread? And lo and behold I fell down the rabbit hole! Cannot believe what has gone on since (absolute worst in my eyes being the kitten and black eye and winter fuel allowance squiggle). You are all very funny folk!

 

[Horse Sauce]

To any newbies & lurkers: please post and tell us what particular chaos led you here! You can go right back to lurking if you like, but it's always interesting to see what brings people to the dark side.

Lurking since the DKL days but made an account today because it was about time.
Now, get fucked.

 

[MancBee]

View attachment 432611

Bridge era Jack.

NO, NO, NO, NO JACK, KEEP OUT OF MY NICHE.

She can sod off, I love bridges and bridge construction. I am a true "Big Ole Bridge Enthusiast" and have been since I was a little lad, not after an hour looking at pictures. Jack, looking at pictures for just one hour on the internet does not make you an enthusiast. She is not going to spoil that for me. She had better keep her mitts off high rise building construction too.

Who was it on here this morning saying she is trolling me? I am lost for words (for once)

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[Emmapism]

Anyone noticed there are rather a lot of us now? The likes on posts have been going up.

Well done all of you for refusing to drink the Monroe koolaid!

Yay Friday

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

@Soapy Dolphin , when you said, "This one looks more like a JM - sloppy and brown. Forensic Fraus, can you spot anything? Photographed in a tray or drawer perhaps?" I thought I'd give it one last shot. By Jove, I found it! Jack and NotJack must have the same interior decorator.

Jack - I had to do a bit of forensic digging, but like a lot of glove/bird serial killers, our girl got sloppy (LOL) and started working in plain sight. Her stress dinos on Twitter
View attachment 429630

NotJack

View attachment 429634

This is chilling well done CSIs, what a fucking creepy weirdo! who’s got the fucking time?!

Speaking of creepy weirdos, we now have an automated means of tracking her Patreons! Sadly I can’t link to the live table as it’s on my personal server so v lol but an initial proof of concept running every minute is below (the weird time is called epoch time), will be every ten going forward. I’m sure we can correlate any jumps with tin rattles x

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Here’s one for your Instagram, NotJack, since you like this sort of thing.