Jack Monroe #146 Can we see the Emin please, cos the rest of this is ugly af

[SoulRebel]

@Marmalade Atkins Gland thingy added to the list.
Fixed that sentence for you, Jack.
PS, someone queried 15 hour shifts in the last thread but they are a thing in care homes, staff regularly do 'long days' that are 7am to 10pm.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Nice one Hotes! I can’t wait to share my plate of dry and sloppy balls with @heretoreaditall2019 thanks to her sassy words.

A cheeky duo like no other my love: John & Oko, Paris & Nicole, Jack & Matt.....

Thank you though, first thread title!

 

[Lanie]

I thought she had earache?

 

[Peachy9]

Often my children will barge into the kitchen and shout "muuuum" (actually my 5 year old will often call me mama- no idea why... Think she finds it funny. ) But I don't think I've ever looked up directly (into a camera) smiling maniacally with all my teeth on show like that. I reckon it would terrify my children, like I was some sort of angry baboon.
Maybe that's just me, though.

 

[Pocahontas]

The idea of him bouncing in from another room with her phone - the likelihood of her phone being more than one metre away from her at any time is unfathomable. I know if my child came bouncing in, shouting ‘Look!’, he’d get me looking befuddled, not blissful.

Have images of her setting up the trusty tripod and whispering that she was ready for her candid shot, and the sentient mirror yelling from upstairs, ‘That’s the one, darling!’

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Can someone please explain why there's a curtain on that side of the kitchen door?

 

[Petelgeuse]

Can someone please explain why there's a curtain on that side of the kitchen door?

Because she RENTS, ok?

 

[Pocahontas]

Can someone please explain why there's a curtain on that side of the kitchen door?

To keep the draught out cos it’s such an icy cold / boiling hot depending on the narrative kitchen?

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

To keep the draught out cos it’s such an icy cold / boiling hot depending on the narrative kitchen?

Shouldn't it be on the other side?

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Quea

Often my children will barge into the kitchen and shout "muuuum" (actually my 5 year old will often call me mama- no idea why... Think she finds it funny. ) But I don't think I've ever looked up directly (into a camera) smiling maniacally with all my teeth on show like that. I reckon it would terrify my children, like I was some sort of angry baboon.
Maybe that's just me, though.

It never happened.

None of it ever does.

She writes this shite as it make herself and others feel like she has a better life than she actually does.

Most of us are just about surviving through our own version of a living nightmare at the moment. Her efforts at fabricating a cutesy, jolly journey through this is nauseating and quite frankly, damaging.

Carry on ruining a lovely house with your compulsive cluttering Jack; it will come back to bite you in the end.

Sorry for ranty post. Two tit days equals a very, very short fuse.

ETA when the f*** will it stop snowing/raining ?

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

I am hoping for a floor explanation today.

 

[MancBee]

View attachment 419992

@SoulRebel Have we got Gland Thingy on the ailment list?

Where, oh where, is the massive period zit"? People suffer with terrible acne and she points out a non existent, or hardly noticeable, zit.

As for the "snaggle tooth", my teeth are less straight than hers, and most people compliment me on my teeth. They were straightened when I was a child, but retained a bit of a quirky unevenness.

She reminds me of a 14 year old girl struggling with self confidence issues. She is a grown woman who should either do something about her tooth, or come to terms with the fact that people are not as perfect as the photoshopped images seen on the covers of magazines.

 

[Eurgh]

The idea of him bouncing in from another room with her phone - the likelihood of her phone being more than one metre away from her at any time is unfathomable.

She’s got like 5 phones. He’s probably not allowed to touch the iPhone 11 - hence the lack of ‘portrait mode’ which as we know is the only thing she does to her selfies....

 

[LavaFlake]

Does SB say Muh-Mar (channelling his inner Bridgeton) or Mah-Mah (channelling his inner Italian). I must know.

 

[Pocahontas]

... on the covers of magazines.

Jackie with an attitude
Cooper’s sulking in a mood
Don’t just stand there, nothing to it
I’ll strike a pose and pretend he took it
Vogue

 

[GothPrincess]

View attachment 420095

Ancient maps!

 

[PhilHardingsHat]

The idea of him bouncing in from another room with her phone - the likelihood of her phone being more than one metre away from her at any time is unfathomable.

From the look of the photo, wouldn't he be stood by the back door? So he's just run in from the rainy, wet and muddy garden...
My mum would have throttled me..

 

[MancBee]

Back to the photograph, she now has a wall of artwork, where last week it was a bare wall. She is so busy trying to get the book finished (along with that massive list of chores that everyone does without comment) that she spent time rearranging unnecessary pictures on a wall. No doubt she would class that as work.

Talk about Rome burning while Nero fiddles.

 

[MarzBarzie]

Good Morning Cabal,
LM has found their voice on IG under the sausage ‘slop’ curry pastitio thingy. Not read them all yet but wanted to share with you immediately!!!
*goes back to insta*