Jack Monroe #146 Can we see the Emin please, cos the rest of this is ugly af

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Congratulations to @heretoreaditall2019 for the words, and dear heart @Pocahontas for nominating them, over 60 votes!
An exclusive never-before-seen video of how to make Linda’s meatballs in a dry yet sloppy orzo is on it’s way to you.

In our last thread:-
1. Linda McCartney took a leaf out of Jack’s book and started deleting website content they don’t want people to remember...
2. Only kidding! They can’t take a leaf out of her latest book, as she still hasn’t written it!
3. She uses Pythagoras’ theorem 📐literally every day but she’s not telling how until after she writes her overdue book
4. She’s testing all the recipes all at once on one day in one oven, assisted by her ten year old homeschooled son
5. Many interview receipts were provided, which unsurprisingly, all contradicted everything she’s ever said, and each other
6. Where did the kitchen Lino go? Same place as the missing RENT?
7. Allegra has arms.
8. She’s 99% classically autistic and 100% damaging
9. Many more birds are with the angles now.
 
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Just gonna repeat my last ephemeral, peripatetic point from the end of the last thread:

His dad has had SB at least two nights a week since he was a tiny baby. Couldn’t the two nights have been the ones she was on night shift? Nursery for the two days? Then she had four days off. Did she really want them to just hold her job for another year or more after maternity until she could be bothered to manage her childcare situation? Seems almost like she wanted to force their hand. Like ‘can’t come in tonight, got no childcare, when will you change things so I don’t have to work shifts as I’m a single mum?’ or something 🙄
 
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What a mess she’s made of that kitchen
“Terrible” 😂😂😂
Ena and Minnie would have definitely seen through Jack’s bullshit. I’m sure they’d both be Tattlers if they were alive today. PS, ask your parents/grandparents if you’re not sure who I’m referring to.
 
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One million, billion pounds says it’s a sfogliatella. And no way has Jack ever made them because it requires actual skill.
Could also be galaktoboureko? Sounds like similar dish.
I could really go for either at the moment to be honest!
 
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Could also be galaktoboureko? Sounds like similar dish.
I could really go for either at the moment to be honest!
Oh yeah custard pie! She can well make that out of a tin of custard I’m sure....
 
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One million, billion pounds says it’s a sfogliatella. And no way has Jack ever made them because it requires actual skill.
Or bougatsa. Why can't these people Google? Type in 'filo' and 'semolina' for crying out loud, much quicker than relying on Jack!
 
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Just gonna repeat my last ephemeral, peripatetic point from the end of the last thread:

His dad has had SB at least two nights a week since he was a tiny baby. Couldn’t the two nights have been the ones she was on night shift? Nursery for the two days? Then she had four days off. Did she really want them to just hold her job for another year or more after maternity until she could be bothered to manage her childcare situation? Seems almost like she wanted to force their hand. Like ‘can’t come in tonight, got no childcare, when will you change things so I don’t have to work shifts as I’m a single mum?’ or something 🙄
They probably offered her very reasonable adjustments. And rightly so, no one should be discriminated against for having a baby. I suspect the ‘reasonable adjustments’ weren’t pandering to her every demand so this is why she had a strop.
 
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Just gonna repeat my last ephemeral, peripatetic point from the end of the last thread:

His dad has had SB at least two nights a week since he was a tiny baby. Couldn’t the two nights have been the ones she was on night shift? Nursery for the two days? Then she had four days off. Did she really want them to just hold her job for another year or more after maternity until she could be bothered to manage her childcare situation? Seems almost like she wanted to force their hand. Like ‘can’t come in tonight, got no childcare, when will you change things so I don’t have to work shifts as I’m a single mum?’ or something 🙄
Wasn't her mum going to be looking after Jonny? I thought Essex Girl said that her mum was willing.

Mind you, I do remember a senior copper saying that the best way to cut officer absences would be to set up a crèche in the main cop shop 😁 as the biggest problem was childcare arrangements falling apart.
 
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@Blurp dear heart you forget, there are NO solutions to any problem Jack has. Of course she could have asked for help and received it! She didn’t want anyone to help, Essex Fire and Rescue simply had to agree to her demands else she would yomp off out, that’ll teach em!
 
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Glad squiggle got an answer! We all know Jack was never going to 'do some looking' for them.

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Or bougatsa. Why can't these people Google? Type in 'filo' and 'semolina' for crying out loud, much quicker than relying on Jack!
Squiggles notoriously have great difficulty using google/are unaware of its existence.
 
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She has an an excuse or a fake AF explanation for the most miniscule of things. It's really quite something, but I imagine is born from many, many years of trying to remain quirky enough to keep up a social media presence
 
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Happy Friday Fraus!

This is me at my most real and candid!

Hope I don't get 'accosted' by any hugs today as we're in the middle of a pandemic. The last thing we need is the concept of hugging becoming as sentient as Jack's mirror.
 
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