Jack Monroe #142 Honorary Unt

[Tabitha D]

Someone in the last thread asked about favourite lies, but I can't quote it now. I want more people to join in. Mine is that she'd never had a cat before when she used to talk about her cats by name in her blog.

A couple from me:
(1) When Jack said she broke more bones in her feet than the actual number of bones in the foot.
(2) That she sold her used lightbulbs.
(3) The Black Eye.
(4) When she claimed that Michael Portillo said something like “you should’ve kept your legs closed you skanky witch” to her on national TV. Easily disproved by the actual footage in which he said no such thing.
(5) The countless times she has tried to take credit for something e.g. the National Food Strategy, Healthy Start vouchers, when only the most cursory research shows the evidence doesn’t support this.
(6) Her countless random encounters with adoring fans / people calling her “white trash” etc. None of them happened and, despite what she may think, she never has the last laugh.

 

[girolle]

Lads lads you know that no-mates-IG account that peeked out all suspiciously? It’s been tagging then deleting
This from prominent Viggle
View attachment 407101

Just as I make some headway with my work, along comes another twist in the tale! Loving the work of this viggle.

 

[Veronicaaa]

A couple from me:
(1) When Jack said she broke more bones in her feet than the actual number of bones in the foot.
(2) That she sold her used lightbulbs.
(3) The Black Eye.
(4) When she claimed that Michael Portillo said something like “you should’ve kept your legs closed you skanky witch” to her on national TV. Easily disproved by the actual footage in which he said no such thing.
(5) The countless times she has tried to take credit for something e.g. the National Food Strategy, Healthy Start vouchers, when only the most cursory research shows the evidence doesn’t support this.
(6) Her countless random encounters with adoring fans / people calling her “white trash” etc. None of them happened and, despite what she may think, she never has the last laugh.

Her pinned tweet #fakenews

 

[MooBelle]

View attachment 407083

he’s a blue tick, so I didn’t squiggle, but so tempted to tell him to ask JM....

Richard is lovely. I don't know him IRL but I do talk to him a lot on Twitter. He always replies and he Likes Tweets and retweets a lot.
I mean he does it to others too, I'm not his Twitter bff or anything!
Jack is always 'bothering' him on Twitter. Likes his posts and tags him in things (mostly deleted, obvs) He posts a fair bit about food and how he tries new things. Also, as his husband died last year, his parishioners are always cooking him meals/looking after him and he posts his gratitude. Posts his dogs a lot too.
Jack will always tweet like she knows him (she doesn't) Say if he posts a pic of his dog she will respond with something like 'oh i love him, can't wait to cuddle doggo' or some such BS. If he says something about his tea she'll @ him 'Deffo cooking when covid allows'.
I've never known him to respond.

I saw them talking about this yesterday too and felt they really came across brilliantly- elevating other people’s experiences of using food banks NOW as opposed to eleventy years ago.

tbh, I just realised it was yesterday's recording!!!!!

 

[Pixieboots]

Someone in the last thread asked about favourite lies, but I can't quote it now. I want more people to join in. Mine is that she'd never had a cat before when she used to talk about her cats by name in her blog.

Mine has to be the classic finding a Burberry scarf in a muddy puddle.

 

[HarderFaster]

I don't think the suspicious account is Jack. There's a Twitter account with the same name that follows a lot of food brand/vegan accounts and some Liverpool players. Whilst there is a complaint to a train company on there(!) it just doesn't sound like Jack to me.

She has form for making “themed” accounts to lurk, though. What was the one she made especially to geg in on IndyRef conversations which had absolutely no bearing on her - Benedict Cumberscotch or some tit? She’s admitted to loads and we’ve caught at least 3 in the past year. Even if it’s not her (and I think the overuse of exclamation marks is her sort of meta-referencing of herself) she can’t blame anyone for thinking it is because it’s literally in the Katie Hopkins court docs that she has (and extensively uses) sockpuppet accounts. Also doesn’t her little boy support Liverpool or have I made that up?

 

[Limey]

Mine has to be the classic finding a Burberry scarf in a muddy puddle.

Nothing really beats the black eye courtesy of Urban Decay, does it?

Although I enjoyed it when I was able to provide receipts as a victim of one of her Kickstarter grifts.

 

[Adayinthelife]

Richard is lovely. I don't know him IRL but I do talk to him a lot on Twitter. He always replies and he Likes Tweets and retweets a lot.
I mean he does it to others too, I'm not his Twitter bff or anything!
Jack is always 'bothering' him on Twitter. Likes his posts and tags him in things (mostly deleted, obvs) He posts a fair bit about food and how he tries new things. Also, as his husband died last year, his parishioners are always cooking him meals/looking after him and he posts his gratitude. Posts his dogs a lot too.
Jack will always tweet like she knows him (she doesn't) Say if he posts a pic of his dog she will respond with something like 'oh i love him, can't wait to cuddle doggo' or some such BS. If he says something about his tea she'll @ him 'Deffo cooking when covid allows'.
I've never known him to respond.


tbh, I just realised it was yesterday's recording!!!!!

I love Richard too, it def wasn’t a dig at him but it did make me giggle
Was very sad when his husband died
Urgh at Jack bothering him

 

[MooBelle]

I love Richard too, it def wasn’t a dig at him but it did make me giggle
Was very sad when his husband died
Urgh at Jack bothering him

It was so sad, he was only 40ish too.
Makes me mad she bothers nice people!

 

[Eurgh]

I love Richard too, it def wasn’t a dig at him but it did make me giggle
Was very sad when his husband died
Urgh at Jack bothering him

I am a big fan too. Jack and he have a lot in common, what with them both being such committed Christians.

 

[Cunderthunt]

I went to same school as Jack though a good few years before her. You have really hit the nail on the head here .. and I can attest to the fact that being incredibly average at that grammar school leaves you feeling .... a little bit tit about yourself. That school especially only wanted the high achievers and I was made to feel very very average. Whereas actually I have since gained a first class degree and am actually a bit of a swot/ bookworm. I surprised myself by doing really well in my English language GCSE and also my teacher who was incredibly dismissive of me.
hope you feel better by the way!!

I know the feeling a bit too. Not from grammar school but I was an early developer and could talk, read etc at 18 months. My dad gassed my head up and made me feel like the most superior person in the world. I couldn’t even relate to normies. It took my whole childhood to painfully and slowly realise that I was not special, just an atypical developer, and in fact I was quite normal and other people were just like me. And that this is a good thing, to be like everyone else. But in the mean time it destroyed my self-esteem and I stopped caring about school. I also left at age 16, like Jack. It also put me off working hard as I expected everything to be easy and not needing to study.

It sounds like some of her resentment might actually be founded in reality!

I am actually feeling a bit better. Thank space you

 

[Flivver]

Mine’s the whole Edinburgh-on-impulse (planned) by Caledonian Sleeper trip. Then feeding slop to the homeless in Tupperware with melamine cutlery.

The ones that got me raging and bought me to tattle: seriously extremely immuno-compromised at the start of lockdown 1 (she did ultimately admit that she wasn’t actually immuno-compromised but only after she was offered work such as DKL). Followed by extreme hair loss expedited by use of hair clippers.

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

Yeah the lightbulb thing is very strange to me. In every rented property I’ve lived in (yeah I RENT because I slather things in butter), they dock cash off of your deposit if a lightbulb isn’t working. It’s happened to me once and also for having dust in a lampshade That’s via private rents through estate agents though.

 

[LavaFlake]

Not being able to afford butter. 'Nuff said.

 

[Missmopps]

I know the feeling a bit too. Not from grammar school but I was an early developer and could talk, read etc at 18 months. My dad gassed my head up and made me feel like the most superior person in the world. I couldn’t even relate to normies. It took my whole childhood to painfully and slowly realise that I was not special, just an atypical developer, and in fact I was quite normal and other people were just like me. And that this is a good thing, to be like everyone else. But in the mean time it destroyed my self-esteem and I stopped caring about school. I also left at age 16, like Jack. It also put me off working hard as I expected everything to be easy and not needing to study.

It sounds like some of her resentment might actually be founded in reality!

I am actually feeling a bit better. Thank space you

Hi @Cunderthunt. Welcome to the thread. I mainly lurk as I am mostly on a constant grunk except for today where I’m up to date!!

OT Im sorry to hear about your period pains. The best pain relief I’ve found ibruprofen and/or an orgasm! Hope they help xxx

 

[Jay-cloth Cow]

My favourite has to be her Mediterranean arse saving her when falling under a train.

 

[Boyo]

Ah, Ladbaby on Steph's pack lunch talking about Foodbanks.
He's made a little film. Talks about how he and his family used them which is why they've been raising money for Trussel Trust. Everything those god awful Christmas songs all made they handed over to charity.
The film was short and sweet and he only mentioned his time 'in poverty' in maybe 2 or 3 sentences. Both he and his wife said how grateful they were and how pleased they were to now be in a position to help others.
Really sweet and humble.
Never made it about him and didn't mention selling lightbulbs.
Jack be fewmin

Well, if he’s never had to sell his lightbulbs, he’s obviously never had the TRUE POV EXPERIENCE. Lightweight.

Also, so humbled to have jointly nom’d a thread title. I have truly arrived. I’d like to thank all the ninnies for their support, Jack particularly for being the source of the outstanding material with which we can work so easily. Oh and ‘her friend’ for the original idea of Honorary Unt. Thankyou anonymous (read:imaginary) friend. Thankyou for the words.

 

[Captainmouse]

Her pinned tweet #fakenews

View attachment 407110

Has twitter got its fake news button up and running yet?

 

[Emmapism]

I love Richard too, it def wasn’t a dig at him but it did make me giggle
Was very sad when his husband died
Urgh at Jack bothering him

Me too! He was great on Celebrity MasterChef.

 

[moosesauna]

I know the feeling a bit too. Not from grammar school but I was an early developer and could talk, read etc at 18 months. My dad gassed my head up and made me feel like the most superior person in the world. I couldn’t even relate to normies. It took my whole childhood to painfully and slowly realise that I was not special, just an atypical developer, and in fact I was quite normal and other people were just like me. And that this is a good thing, to be like everyone else. But in the mean time it destroyed my self-esteem and I stopped caring about school. I also left at age 16, like Jack. It also put me off working hard as I expected everything to be easy and not needing to study.

It sounds like some of her resentment might actually be founded in reality!

I am actually feeling a bit better. Thank space you

Same here! I wasn't ever a particularly unique or intelligent child, but the fact I was a loner who read books and wrote little stories and poems (all very bad - I don't dare to go up in my nan's loft to find them ) and started off in a small primary school meant that I was constantly told I was 'smart' and 'gifted'. Unfortunately, I'm sure that all went straight to my head...

((apologies for long personal post))
Then went to a larger secondary school full of high-achievers, kids with three tutors a day, etc etc and I was painfully average, actually failing in certain subjects (cough cough Maths). Got dumped into remedial classes where all of the other students mucked about, played loud music etc as the teacher basically fell asleep on the desk. Meanwhile, my friends were all pretty intelligent and managed to do really well, causing my parents to constantly compare me to them and call me 'lazy' for doing badly.
Moved schools and got some awful GCSE results in STEM subjects, but great at English (thanks, bookworm habits!), and achieved good A-Levels, but the fear of failure, the underachieving, the sensitivity and lack of self-esteem are still a huge barrier today. I almost feel sorry for Jack, as I know how awful it is to feel like you're letting everyone down, especially if you have a mental illness and/or are neurodivergent. It's extremely tough to get back to the version of you that enjoyed learning and didn't constantly think they were an idiot. However, most of us develop self-awareness and a desire to forgive & forget, whereas Jack seems to be stuck in the same toxic mindset my younger self was in.