Jack Monroe #141 Who dat?

[Switchstreetz]

This from the woman who stated that she is 5'1.7" tall. So to be fair it is probably very hard for her to attempt these tricky sums set for a 10 year old.

Must have her head spinning "180C" trying to understand all those tricky concepts

Year 5 maths? Completed it mate

Her demise will be a slow long drawn out affair. It won't be pretty either.

Good, the longer it's drawn out the more threads we'll have

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

I've spent all morning trying to think of a genuine use for tumble dryer fluff and the only thing I came up with was to put outside for birds to use for nests. What the hell else would you use it for???

Oh come on it’s obvious! You glue them to a piece of cardboard and you have yourself a new bath mat.

My customers would be pretty pissed off if they thought that I dashed off their order (in my creative business) the night before, when they believed they were paying a lot of money for something made with thought and care.

I just don't understand how she can tell her potential customers that a book has taken so little time, and has been shoddily rushed at the last minute, cobbled together from scraps of paper and tweets.


Just another example of her arrogance...she got lucky once, and thinks she's a maverick genius who doesn't need to try.

Gawd, can you tell she's struck a particular nerve with me today?

Hard relate babe 🤍

 

[MancBee]

Just back from my daily walk where I discovered not even baby pigeons are immune

The squab
It lie
It die
I cry
Poor squab

The local scamps doing their Probation community payback were around yesterday litter picking. I wonder what they do with all the poor dead pigeons they find. I hope they are buried separately and not suffer the indignity of a mass grave, or even worse, the incinerator.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

I meant to say, awesome thread-starting and recapping skills @HotesTilaire ! It’s amazing what you can put together with some tumble-dryer fluff, human hair, and a glitching computer! To @Switchstreetz too!!! High five @lilamay , can’t wait til we get our prize!

 

[Lanie]

The difference is nurse has to work 10.5 hour shifts. She does not, she chooses her working hours or lack thereof.

I literally just cannot with her anymore she is a vile person and I am astounded that she never feels one ounce of guilt that she peddles absolute shite to the gullible.

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

So she went in all guns blazing, but permission had been given?

Tweet and delete. Straight out of Jack's Book.

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

I was wondering how the key worker situation worked with those who co parent? She's such a blaggy little scammer, I'm sure she could get SB a school place on the basis of his dad being a key worker if she tried.

Obviously I can’t speak for every school, but I know in our LA the advice is to minimise disruption so the offer is generally based on the key worker household.

So eg if we have Jane who normally spends Monday and Tuesday with Mum who works from home, then the rest of the week with Dad who is a police officer, we’d have offered a full time key worker place if they asked.

It’s just easier all round - it sounds like Jack has a good relationship with SBs dad so they could adjust custody arrangements to work round things but there are some situations where the court orders are absolutely set in stone and no variation is possible. Having them in on Mums days and not on dads days or in one week and out the other would be the worst of all worlds for everyone really.

 

[Flash123]

I didn't know what a fronted adverbial was either, but a quick Google and it was explained in terms that even a 32 year old single mother with 4.5 GCSE's could understand.

I know that I have a degree, but never got further than O level in English, and found the explanation easy enough to understand in under 5 minutes. We all use them in everyday language, but don't know the correct term to describe them.

Why do these parents see a word or phrase that they are not familiar with and then panic? All that does is create a fear of language in the child your meant to be assisting to educate. Just look it up, if a 10 year old is meant to understand it, I am sure an adult can.

Watch out she will claim to be dyslexic next if she hasn’t done so already

 

[Five hundred dogs]

My local country park has a whole tree full of dead pigeons, clearly some kind of birdie distater has taken place. RIP my fine feathered friends.

 

[Emmapism]

We've got a serial killer on our hands lads.

 

[Eurgh]

I did a laughing reaction but also I would totally buy the @blurstoftimes cookbook.

Babe, same!

 

[ScamSandwich]

Congrats, @lilamay on the thread title, we are on page 8 already but GRUNKA.
Excellent summaries @HotesTilaire and @Switchstreetz , it is clear that you have both been working silently, gently behind the scenes with @Pocahontas .

"- Jack coincidentally remembers she's a 90% vegan (but only 10% of the time)"
And only now I have realised that Jack is practically the living example of the vegan Pareto principle.

Now get to absolute duck x

 

[discokebab]

I know its a typo on today's webinar but imagine if it really lasted this long.
ETA: carrots

 

[LavaFlake]

Is anyone listening to the webinar? Don't think I could face the nasal tones of Jack Monroe MBE.

 

[SlopAmbsase]

My local country park has a whole tree full of dead pigeons, clearly some kind of birdie distater has taken place. RIP my fine feathered friends.

A pigeon massacre . When will this disingenuous mendacious government realise we need to protect the vulnerable?

(btw, this is MY STORY, MY LIFE’S WORK, DO NOT CREDIT @Five hundred dogs, thankyou now duck off)

 

[Vanelope]

I’m so busy, I have so much to do, but my admin Is on furlough

HMRC have a massive backlog but they will be interested in false furlough claims - where people are furloughed when they could actually be working

My local country park has a whole tree full of dead pigeons, clearly some kind of birdie distater has taken place. RIP my fine feathered friends.

its better than dog poo bags but still

 

[Mel Donte]

I wonder how many landlords are in SB's family tree.

 

[FrumpyCat]

Fraus... there’s been a MURDER

View attachment 403270

I hope they get the prick that done it Hanging is too good for them

 

[colouredlines]

Jack homeschooling languages.

"Mama, what does risotto mean?"

"Whatever the duck you want it to."

 

[Jelly Bean]

its better than dog poo bags but still
[/QUOTE]
In my old local park there was a tree with babies dummies hanging from it. Gave me the absolute heaves every time I had to pass it.
Thinking back maybe they were small mice though instead?