Please don't argue with someone who's literally a food expert, dear heart.
Jack Monroe #140 This is not what Linda would have wanted
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Do your excitement levels match what you felt in expectation of the custard cake recipe? I mean, that didn't let you down, did it?
Thanks for explaining. I literally couldn't wrap my head around that.
I googled this monstrosity and was amazed to see a few different sites with recipes for it. "Is this actually a thing?" I hooted.
Never fear, they're all specifically credited as hers.
Top Tip: Don't panic if you run out of flour any white powder can be used in it's place cocaine, bleach, sugar all make excellent cakes, breads and pastries.
Top Tip: If you have access to a stallion you need never make bechamel again. Many horses are just left lying around in fields and often appreciate the chance to get involved in cooking.
Top Tip: Are you sick of your flatmates stealing your food? Simply purchase one or more of my remarkable cookbooks and follow the recipes faithfully. Your flatmates will be only to happy to let you scoff the lot like a greedy goblin.
Top Tip: If you have access to a stallion you need never make bechamel again. Many horses are just left lying around in fields and often appreciate the chance to get involved in cooking.
Top Tip: Are you sick of your flatmates stealing your food? Simply purchase one or more of my remarkable cookbooks and follow the recipes faithfully. Your flatmates will be only to happy to let you scoff the lot like a greedy goblin.
Buying 2 pots of mixed herbs and funneling them into a milk bottle has done me. I just can't. It's worse than the Viz ones. Even if you don't consider the cost of the funnel, the bottle, the label maker and the label tape.... WHY????? I'm so glad she blocked me because I would simply have to wade in and get banned from Tattle.
Also, orange/clementine peel is not free you stupid stupid cow, you have to buy the bleeping oranges.
I'm not even starting on vegan cheese Jack. I have many many opinions about all kinds of vegan cheeses and have bought and made hundreds of them in my time, but in Veganish there's a marmite cheese bread that I made in early lockdown because I could only get SR flour and even as a huge marmite fan it was so overpowering that the cheese was a complete and utter waste of money because it was a stupid texture and you wouldn't have been able to taste ANYTHING else.
And was it her or a squig that said tea is hardest to find vegan milk for? Any plant milk will 'work' in tea, it may taste different but it works, it's coffee where it splits and curdles and is difficult to sort out. Need to excuse her on this one though as we know she doesn't drink it. And maybe tea is different when you're making it with water from a flask or that you've cooked beetroot in twice.
Also, orange/clementine peel is not free you stupid stupid cow, you have to buy the bleeping oranges.
I'm not even starting on vegan cheese Jack. I have many many opinions about all kinds of vegan cheeses and have bought and made hundreds of them in my time, but in Veganish there's a marmite cheese bread that I made in early lockdown because I could only get SR flour and even as a huge marmite fan it was so overpowering that the cheese was a complete and utter waste of money because it was a stupid texture and you wouldn't have been able to taste ANYTHING else.
And was it her or a squig that said tea is hardest to find vegan milk for? Any plant milk will 'work' in tea, it may taste different but it works, it's coffee where it splits and curdles and is difficult to sort out. Need to excuse her on this one though as we know she doesn't drink it. And maybe tea is different when you're making it with water from a flask or that you've cooked beetroot in twice.
Worst thing about it is, you could make a very good pea and ham soup for about half the price.
On the plus side, she must be doing a great job with her son...recent photos suggest that SB hasn't been bored in a long, long time!
I spit my tea out (not a good look) at this.
Thankfully I found my jar of cinnamon. Funnily enough, it was still in the jar I bought it in. Must be because I'm not Autistic.
Can someone just answer me one thing? Why has Jack got a milk bottle full of mixed herbs when she has a plethora of magnetic herb and spice jars on the side of the fridge? And not a single squiggle has called her out on this, even though they have been commented on umpteen times.
Hi gang,
I spotted a top tip recently and I've decanted 6 tubs of mixed herbs into an empty milk bottle. I now have 6 empty herb tubs, has anyone got any ideas on what to do with them?
I spotted a top tip recently and I've decanted 6 tubs of mixed herbs into an empty milk bottle. I now have 6 empty herb tubs, has anyone got any ideas on what to do with them?
Use them as bath bombs?
Not to mention her perennial love of “long slow cooking” pulses that are already cooked.
You have been here long enough to know the. Rules
Welcome to the cabal! Top tip do not consume liquid whilst tattling, and beware the
Bung them in a curry!
But I only have table salt, garlic granules and lemon peel? Is that suitable?
Yes absolutely x
A great big handful of sage in your Thai curryA load of rosemary in your taboulehSome tarragon in your Pimm'slots of basil to make a crust for rack of lambAdd coriander to your lasagnaFFS.
I would also like to bung into the discussion that basically all fruit is the same, so you don't need apples for your apple cake.
Response from my flatmate: "Give them to the milkman to put milk in them, obviously."
Poor SB's gonna need a hazmat suit for at least half of those chores.
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