Jack Monroe #140 This is not what Linda would have wanted

[ScamSandwich]

Does anyone use bath salts any more? My aunty used to give me some rose bath cubes every year, despite the fact I was a preteen and also allergic to them.

The cat food ring pulls are from Gourmet Pearl which is 52p for an 85g tin from Asda (£6.12 per kg) while the bog standard Felix I use is 40 * 100g pouches for £9 (£2.25 per kilo).

My moggy eats 2-3 sachets of food a day plus a small amount of dry. Even 2 tins of Pearl would cost £1.04 a day which is more than she would spend a day feeding 3 people for £20.

How many ring pulls can a woman need? There's over 700 a year from the cat food alone!

Thrifty Jack with the food ring pulls..come on! Yesterday we had tin can opener poverty and also established that food ring pulls are the tins the better off can afford, because more expensive (conspiracy!) and now we are supposed to put them on coat hangers. The clothes are taking up space in the wardrobe anyway, because they are...in the wardrobe... no matter how they are aligned. I can't remember one of those 'hacks' has ever brought any value to my life. The best (worst) one I have ever seen was to put a toilet brush (unused but still ) on a drill and then switch it on and hold it in a bucket of water (very safe) with potatoes which are then peeled.
Stop the hacks!!!

 

[RobinsNest]

Yes there is - squiggle engagement. ‘Oh thankyou Jack, that’s changed my life. I’ve been keeping all my herbs and spices in the bath but now we’re refurbing the bathroom and will just have a shower and I was beside myself wondering how I would store it all but again you’ve done it! THANKYOU! Surely the OBE is a given now! It should be. Perhaps we should all email the Queen cos it’s her that decides these things isn’t it? Yeah JACK FOR MEDALS!’

I feel like her point is "herbs are interchangeable so don't worry if you don't have them, just take a handful of this pile we made".... but you do have those herbs.... in the mix. Maybe don't mix them and then just use the right one? Or maybe I'm a "purist" elite.

Sure, noone really buys tarragon, so you could sub with basil, but you're in for a shock when you sub your coriander with rosemary. Hopefully this will make her fans actually taste that she's full of crap.

 

[Pocahontas]

I'm broken on an almost daily basis now but herb gate is particularly enraging. There is a fairly sensible point about substitutions that might work in certain recipes e.g. you could use rosemary or thyme, you could possibly sub coriander for flat leaf parsley where the coriander flavour wasn't that important to the overall dish. However to imply they're all just interchangeable gives me the fear that Christmas 2021 will be the year Jack unleashes mint 'n' onion stuffing on the world.

Not stuffing, but ask and you shall receive.

 

[ScamSandwich]

On a shortcut grunka, which does not really work but I can't find much evidence: is the comraderie, new friendship, working behind the scenes relation between RSM and JM still going strong or was it a short-lived affair?

 

[Veronicaaa]

Not stuffing, but ask and you shall receive.

Q. When is a casserole not a casserole?
A. When it's a soup

 

[SlopAmbsase]

Thrifty Jack with the food ring pulls..come on! Yesterday we had tin can opener poverty and also established that food ring pulls are the tins the better off can afford, because more expensive (conspiracy!) and now we are supposed to put them on coat hangers. The clothes are taking up space in the wardrobe anyway, because they are...in the wardrobe... no matter how they are aligned. I can't remember one of those 'hacks' has ever brought any value to my life. The best (worst) one I have ever seen was to put a toilet brush (unused but still ) on a drill and then switch it on and hold it in a bucket of water (very safe) with potatoes which are then peeled.
Stop the hacks!!!

Top tip - sling your potatoes into the bog and cover with Toilet Duck. Return an hour later - hey presto, no skins AND a herby green sauce!

(sorry @ScamSandwich, your bog brush potato peeler made me retch but also inspired me )

 

[Captainmouse]

Spotted on another forum, Someone is all up in jacks niche here, trying to outjack jack!

When I was in China, someone I was working with (Chinese guy) took a few of us to a “Western” restaurant. As it turns out, for a laugh. They had a fruit pizza on the menu which someone ordered. Ordinary pizza base, covered in fruit, cheese and SALAD CREAM!

place your bets!

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Not stuffing, but ask and you shall receive.

Haven’t we all missed the glaring apple juice here?

Wouldn’t it taste like some minty apple smoothie added to ham?

I’m totally here for fraus telling me I am wrong, but the thought of apple juice,mint, ham and parsley makes me want to squeeze the liquid out of my sponge and drink that instead of any of her creations.

 

[MarzBarzie]

Thrifty Jack with the food ring pulls..come on! Yesterday we had tin can opener poverty and also established that food ring pulls are the tins the better off can afford, because more expensive (conspiracy!) and now we are supposed to put them on coat hangers. The clothes are taking up space in the wardrobe anyway, because they are...in the wardrobe... no matter how they are aligned. I can't remember one of those 'hacks' has ever brought any value to my life. The best (worst) one I have ever seen was to put a toilet brush (unused but still ) on a drill and then switch it on and hold it in a bucket of water (very safe) with potatoes which are then peeled.
Stop the hacks!!!

Mash de toilette!!

 

[colouredlines]

I feel like her point is "herbs are interchangeable so don't worry if you don't have them, just take a handful of this pile we made".... but you do have those herbs.... in the mix. Maybe don't mix them and then just use the right one? Or maybe I'm a "purist" elite.

She hasn't mixed them though. She bought a tub of mixed dried herbs and moved it to a different container. That is literally her Top Tip. If it sounds utterly bleeping ridiculous...that's 'cause it is.

 

[Tabitha D]

That herb tip is utterly baffling. I like the small pots, boring they may be, as they fit in my herb and spice rack. I don't want bleeping milk bottles cluttering up the place. How is this 'tip' money saving?

It’s completely and utterly pointless. I also like to buy the small pots of mixed herbs because they don’t last forever (they don’t go off but they lose their flavour over time), so by the time you get to the end of the pot they’re normally getting past their best and it’s time to buy a new one. By the time you got to the bottom of a milk bottle full of herbs, it’d be like sawdust.
I think this latest “tip” is symptomatic of Jack’s utter desperation. Her deadline for the book is Sunday and she is all out of ideas.

 

[MancBee]

You know, if she were to say something along the lines of 'you can use dried oregano in the place of most dried herbs' I could actually see the point - like, if people who are novices and who don't know which of the herbs to get, recommending one particular one which works well in most recipes would be useful? But instead she's just like 'buy any herb! Doesn't matter which one' which is beyond unhelpful.

I'm making a Dorset apple cake at the moment. The recipe says use cinnamon, but I haven't got any will curry powder do? All spices are the same, aren't they?

 

[Veronicaaa]

I'm making a Dorset apple cake at the moment. The recipe says use cinnamon, but I haven't got any will curry powder do? All spices are the same, aren't they?

I'm hoping she does say something like this - if all herbs are the same, all spices are too, right? - because she would then SURELY have some pushback. You can't go around saying Chinese 5 Spice is interchangeable with garam masala (for example) without pissing off entire continents.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

I'm making a Dorset apple cake at the moment. The recipe says use cinnamon, but I haven't got any will curry powder do? All spices are the same, aren't they?

Personally, I would take cumin, curry powder, garam masala, turmeric, cardamom and cinnamon and put it all in a milk bottle (used). Cover it with a used rag and tie it off with an elastic band found in the street. Leave for about 3 weeks or if you are impatient, 3 days.

The heady mix of spices will be lovely in your cake.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Remember when she was going through her last political bit and said she was done with cooking because anybody could handle a tin of beans

It's like she'll try anything, ANYTHING to get away from cooking as she bleeping despises it. Wants as bit of that Hinch dollar if you ask me. It's not gonna happen Jack hun.

 

[Winthropp Tuesday]

I'm making a Dorset apple cake at the moment. The recipe says use cinnamon, but I haven't got any will curry powder do? All spices are the same, aren't they?

Yes, absolutely.

Or make a Dorset Apple Cake curry!

HTH white heart xxx

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Remember when she was going through her last political bit and said she was done with cooking because anybody could handle a tin of beans

It's like she'll try anything, ANYTHING to get away from cooking as she bleeping despises it. Wants as bit of that Hinch dollar if you ask me. It's not gonna happen Jack hun.

Hinch seems to be turning into some painting and decorating expert so there is definitely a gap in the market.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Mash de toilette!!

Now Duck off! xx

 

[MancBee]

Not stuffing, but ask and you shall receive.

That is NOT a casserole.

ETA @Veronicaaa beat me to it. Great minds and all that

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

We've still got one Linda McCartney/Veganuary recipe to come. So excited.