Jack Monroe #138 Jack Monroe MBE

[Switchstreetz]

Suddenly tampons in a pineapple seems like a perfectly normal storage solution.

Taaaampons? In a pineapple?

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[girolle]

Pie Jesu, what fresh hell is this?

Only last night I used some oil from a jar of sundried tomatoes to fry off some onion, but the filtering nonsense makes me want to die, to be honest.

Why would you mix old fish oil with other old oil? And the cheap sausage runoff good god. A bottle of oil is not expensive if you just buy normal shit. Like a pound. Butter is not expensive, despite Jack’s obsession with lard. Why risk botulism to play at frugality?!

What the fuck is the matter with her fawning fans?!

Maybe I'm missing Jack's point here but who the hell is buying sundried tomatoes who cannot afford a bottle of olivio or sunflower oil?

 

[BlendedSlop]

Congratulations on your inauguration Mr President, ickle smol floofy softy soft Jack wuvsyou x

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Also what do these goody too shoes bum licks hope to achieve in acting as if they’ve stumbled across Satan’s lair Grasping ur pearls just to get a tweet off Jack Monroe, please The thing that upsets them is that we’re not scumbag alt right detractors we’re all normal women critiquing fucking abnormal activity we see online.

Social media amplifies a handful of personalities to have larger voices than others, none of us ~mere mortals~ would have the opportunity to find each other or say what we say on conventional platforms (excluding Facebook ) so Tattle is really for the people (by the people) and I’m grateful we can speak here. That squiggle sounds really dim I hope you enjoy your undeclared ads over on Insta, have fun sweetie x

 

[Silver Linings]

Bet she used her hands to buy it.

 

[PoorPatrol]

Sausage fat toffee! Has she seriously not read the Linda McCartney comments?

 

[bazzam]

Pie Jesu, what fresh hell is this?

Anyone who has ever had an eating disorder has never ever had to set an alarm to eat. I can't really express how offended I am by her claims to have been anorexic at one time and now needs alarm reminders to eat. Cosplaying serious illness is not a fucking game you selfish self obsessed thieving cunt.

 

[Smeghead]

View attachment 395721View attachment 395722
(It’s Marilyn Monroe, she’s being clever)

But.....COPYRIGHT. Can the family of the photographer invoice her? Can anyone help?

 

[jenny2603]

That llama doorstop looks like a right smug fucker as well. Apparently that bottle in her kitchen that looks like rancid oil is live vinegar and the chicken's full of rubber eggs. Why would you need to put anything in the chicken? It's not transparent. Who's going to come in your house and interrogate you about whether your chicken's filled with real eggs?

I will pay her a tenner for a video showing herself drinking out of all those novelty mugs because there's no way you're not pouring liquid all down your front.

This is like an acid flashback. Why does she have rubber eggs in the first place?

"I am too frugal for butter"
"I have a collection of rubber eggs"

Is there rubber butter in the butter dish? Is all the food rubber?

I will pay her £20 for 10 minutes with those mugs and a hammer. Hideous things.

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

I’m laughing at the idea forum gossip comes up in GA - I’ve mentioned before my husband gets spoken about by MITHERING NINNIES on forums and never once have I had a GA tell me that Steve from Gravesend thinks he’s a fat cunt (still)

ETA - the doctor gave a firm and apologetic nod, the results are in from google, you are indeed in need of a hair cut

I know this is so sad but I really love imagining who Eddie the Eagle actually is, like imagine if you were Mrs Rooney just casually chatting about tweet scraping and ltd companies on Tattle

ETA - omg if you are Victoria Beckham I will lose my shit

 

[Aug1977]

#139 Thunderflaps are no.

 

[Silver Linings]

I found footage of Jack hugging the tv and shouting with joy.

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

View attachment 394964

“Accidentally ran into” ok sure you did. Deffo weren’t already here slagging off Mrs Hinch or Lauren Goodger were ya? they’re fair game and have some truly disgusting things written about them, but when Jack’s actual shitty tweets and actual shitty behaviour is called out its bullying must be because she is so smol and poor and does so much for so many people without ever resting

 

[jenny2603]

I am broken.

 

[Smeghead]

I actually think my mastermind specialist subject could be Jackie!

Only problem is which answers would be given. There are so many lies it would be impossible.
“Question 1. How many GCSEs did jack monroe get at school.”
“Errrrr 3. No 4 and a half. No, wait, seven?”
“Question 2. What did Jack Monroe call Boris Johnson on a bbc interview?”
“Disingenuous”
“No, I have to go with what is on the card. A liar.”
“Question 3. How many jobs has Jack Monroe had?”
“10?”
“No, 1,546. She was also a washing machine operator.”
“Question 4. What happened to Louisa?”
“She left”
“No, not really, she left, but came back and then got COVID and then lived there a bit and then not really, but sometimes”

 

[KindaWeird]

£28 for a monstrosity of a doorstop. This woman is NOT poor!!! John Lewis, obvs. Only quality useless tat for Mama Jack, while SB gets eyeball fucking sausages.
View attachment 394356

I honestly think she's minted, either that or she's in a massive amount of debt.

I fail to see how a single person can afford to rent a bungalow that size in the South East as well as buy the John Lewis curtains (don't believe they were gifted), all the sideboards, those fancy anthropologie handles, the burberry scarf (magic puddle is a joke) etc. Why/how do squiggles fall for it?

I have a very modest income now after a brief period of unemployment, luckily my outgoings are relatively low (live in a cheap area in the North but I'm originally from an area down South quite close to Monroe so I know how expensive it is) and there's no way I could afford to buy any of the things she has yet somehow when I read her tweets I'm made to feel like she's financially worse off than I am. The way Jack goes on, she acts like she's on minimum wage/less?!

 

[kachoochoo]

radical idea here, jack. how's about eating your tea with your child and let conversation occur naturally. or even not talking at all as can happen when one is enjoying a particularly good meal. oh wait. I said a good meal so that explains it

don't hinch and her husband do these sort of conversation starter cards for likes and engagement as well? influencers be weird

 

[LennyBriscoe]

View attachment 395232View attachment 395234View attachment 395237

Dear Twitter

Please note: if Jack Monroe ever asks for advice on something, please be assured that she doesn’t actually want your advice. She will bat away any hints, tips and info you may have on the chosen subject regardless of the fact you may well be qualified in said subject or work in the field day in, day out. Save yourself the bother folks, feed yourself not an ego.

Yours
Tattle

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

I’m sorry but even if we were in World War Two I wouldn’t do this shit, life’s too short just forego the oil I’m not eating month old fish remnants for diddly