Charlotte Crosby was a train wreck on Mastermind! Trying so hard to be funny . Just desperate. I would love to see Jackie on it!
Jack Monroe #138 Jack Monroe MBE
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Following a rage-inducing scroll, we need;
1. a thunderbot that hovers above her pillow (wherever that may be on the day on question) to remind her ever so gently and softly of what needs to happen every Thursday at 8pm
2. A plantbot that lives in her garden under the brambly bush and puffs out spores to remind her ever so gently and softly that she is meant to be plant-based at the moment.
3. A bookbot that sits on her desk that prods her ever so gently and softly every time she goes on twitter and ignores her book and patreon commitments.
1. a thunderbot that hovers above her pillow (wherever that may be on the day on question) to remind her ever so gently and softly of what needs to happen every Thursday at 8pm
2. A plantbot that lives in her garden under the brambly bush and puffs out spores to remind her ever so gently and softly that she is meant to be plant-based at the moment.
3. A bookbot that sits on her desk that prods her ever so gently and softly every time she goes on twitter and ignores her book and patreon commitments.
Face it, she wanted to spoil our fun. Louisa Compton stole her Brexit tins so she's stealing our comedy. Hurt people, hurt people. It's terribly sad but fortunately she is a never ending source of HOOTS so we shan't be bored.
Omg WW2, is this a direct @ from earlier?
Sorry but even a never ending global pandemic isn’t cause to eat your oily slop, leave us alone pls
4. A Beamer Bot that tells her everyone knows she's lying but lots of people are too polite to say so.
Another - get other people to do the work and I’ll get the profit scam
Do you think Marilyn Monroe is who inspired her name change? 
My Dad was on Mastermind (pleb not celeb) he was a cool cucumber throughout but some of the other contestants went to pieces and it was horrifying live. I'm just cringing at the thought of Tank Jack in that chair. I can't watch videos of her because I think we have the same voice - my Mum sounds like Janet Street-Porter apparently and one of my friends claims I sound like a cross between a goose and Loyd Grossman.
I've given my vegan influence bestie a brief run down...she had heard of Monroe in passing. I focused on the kitten and the bollock sausages and I can already predict her unfiltered anger. Also I tried to make it a 'long story short' and completely failed. Once of my other best chums (also vegan) who I have been keeping posted since the Winter Fuel Debacle works in social media analytics and she is flabbergasted by the Linda situation.
"That is bad sentiment analysis"
ETA: I truly love carrots
I've given my vegan influence bestie a brief run down...she had heard of Monroe in passing. I focused on the kitten and the bollock sausages and I can already predict her unfiltered anger. Also I tried to make it a 'long story short' and completely failed. Once of my other best chums (also vegan) who I have been keeping posted since the Winter Fuel Debacle works in social media analytics and she is flabbergasted by the Linda situation.
"That is bad sentiment analysis"
ETA: I truly love carrots
“I am sick of you vile bullies! You terrorise me, you stalk my BB by looking on a public cycle-tracking site thing, you talk about my dad being a landlord and not short of a Bob or two and now you’re harassing my Agent! She does NOT have a sense of humour and she would NOT find this funny!!!
Cabal of mithering ninnies!”
No there is a marvel character called Jack MonroeDo you think Marilyn Monroe is who inspired her name change?
Norma Jean is probably being deployed so that when people google Jack Monroe tattle isn’t the top answers
Precisely why I have glass-fronted wall cupboards. I like showing off my china and glass but I also like them clean. The cooking utensils on the rack over the range are bad enoughThis extremely cluttered look, especially with kitchenware seems very trendy in some people’s houses. I’m thinking of Allegra...vast amounts of pans, crockery, jars etc all out on display. What about the dust and grease that must accumulate on it all, being in a kitchen especially. In any room it would need dusting at the same time as everything else because well, it’s for eating off.
I don’t know how it could be kept on top of without a cleaner.
You are welcome
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I understood this to mean Jack was her topic on Mastermind and was confused about why you weren't all more excited.
One day, it will happen.we will have to draw virtual straws for who has to take one for the cabal and try each recipe.
Thinking the exact same thing myself
Grunkaing through space and time but it's 10 days until your book deadline and you're only asking this now?!
I’m saying it now , you’re on your own kid . Hell will freeze over before a Jack Monroe recipe ever gets made and put in my mouth.
Dear Twitter
Please note: if Jack Monroe ever asks for advice on something, please be assured that she doesn’t actually want your advice. She will bat away any hints, tips and info you may have on the chosen subject regardless of the fact you may well be qualified in said subject or work in the field day in, day out. Save yourself the bother folks, feed yourself not an ego.
Yours
Tattle
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