Jack Monroe #138 Jack Monroe MBE

[Bugger13]

Cooper could take a dump in there and she wouldn't notice over the smell of the slow cooker.

Crying

 

[Dogmuck]

Im telling you all now, next “yard” sale she has, I am NOT buying that bleeping rug...or those mugs.

 

[Smeghead]

I actually think my mastermind specialist subject could be Jackie!

Only problem is which answers would be given. There are so many lies it would be impossible.
“Question 1. How many GCSEs did jack monroe get at school.”
“Errrrr 3. No 4 and a half. No, wait, seven?”
“Question 2. What did Jack Monroe call Boris Johnson on a bbc interview?”
“Disingenuous”
“No, I have to go with what is on the card. A liar.”
“Question 3. How many jobs has Jack Monroe had?”
“10?”
“No, 1,546. She was also a washing machine operator.”
“Question 4. What happened to Louisa?”
“She left”
“No, not really, she left, but came back and then got COVID and then lived there a bit and then not really, but sometimes”

 

[kachoochoo]

I’m a menace. Somebody taught me and now I can’t stop.

you're our menace tho, babe. I'm genuinely loving your doctoring of stock photos in addition to your ongoing devotion to receipts

 

[colouredlines]

It’s a rag rug. Cheap to make, but expensive to buy. They can’t be vacuumed. Need to be put on the washing line and bashed to get the dust out. We used to make them at home when I was a girl.

You'd normally have quite a small one though, no? It appears to go all the way across the room!

 

[jenny2603]

I need a squiggle to ask her about that monstrosity of a floor.

I mean...it's a major tripping hazard, it would be impossible to keep clean, Cooper could take a dump in there and she wouldn't notice over the smell of the slow cooker.

No wonder SHE LEFT. If I went back to someone's house and it looked like that, I'd be making some hasty excuses.

When @MancBee comes back he'll have a fit

I think we need a special emergency side thread devoted to that rug. What the hell is it? More pertinently why the hell is it? Is there a Tattle procedure for incidents of this nature? We have entered a new and nightmarish phase of Jackwatch and I am both frightened and bewildered.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Dogmuck]

Only problem is which answers would be given. There are so many lies it would be impossible.
“Question 1. How many GCSEs did jack monroe get at school.”
“Errrrr 3. No 4 and a half. No, wait, seven?”
“Question 2. What did Jack Monroe call Boris Johnson on a bbc interview?”
“Disingenuous”
“No, I have to go with what is on the card. A liar.”
“Question 3. How many jobs has Jack Monroe had?”
“10?”
“No, 1,546. She was also a washing machine operator.”
“Question 4. What happened to Louisa?”
“She left”
“No, not really, she left, but came back and then got COVID and then lived there a bit and then not really, but sometimes”

I did say this before but it’s always worth another outing...because Jack does so much chaos you’d have to have time specific specialist subjects, so it would be “The life and times of Jack Monroe between 18.30pm 6/1/2021”
and 3.42am 8/1/2021

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

It’s a rag rug. Cheap to make, but expensive to buy. They can’t be vacuumed. Need to be put on the washing line and bashed to get the dust out. We used to make them at home when I was a girl.

Are you sure? Looks more like a Buffalo Bill style trophy to me.

 

[Silver Linings]

Bet she used her hands to buy it.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

That llama doorstop looks like a right smug fucker as well. Apparently that bottle in her kitchen that looks like rancid oil is live vinegar and the chicken's full of rubber eggs. Why would you need to put anything in the chicken? It's not transparent. Who's going to come in your house and interrogate you about whether your chicken's filled with real eggs?

I will pay her a tenner for a video showing herself drinking out of all those novelty mugs because there's no way you're not pouring liquid all down your front.

 

[colouredlines]

I did say this before but it’s always worth another outing...because Jack does so much chaos you’d have to have time specific specialist subjects, so it would be “The life and times of Jack Monroe between 18.30pm 6/1/2021”
and 3.42am 8/1/2021

This is actually quite embarrassing.

"What flavour of Ben & Jerry's ice cream did Jack allegedly eat two tubs of during the Poverty?"
"Which Oasis song did Jack accidentally conquer her fears to sing on Youtube?"
"What is Jack Monroe's favourite tank?"

 

[Emlo]

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And while we are on pointless novelty ceramic tat... why have a rainbow butter dish with no f’ing butter?

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Bugger13]

Ahhh a board game based on Jack would be bleeping incredible. Imagine ‘who’s in the bag’. It’s a chef-tit no, it’s a cook. No, a writer-well an activist. Erm, well they tweet a lot and get all angry about poverty despite owning loads of high end goods & earning plenty but then move swiftly onto something else-oh and it’s not really earning, more taking money for nothing. Ah, got it-they’re vegan. Oh tit, no they were, well ish-about 90% but then they bought milk and cheap wet ham. They’re lactose intolerant though, scrap that. They had a grandad who died...
This is actually reminding me of how painful it is watching Mr B getting all panicky playing these bloody games at family Christmases. He never got over mistaking Karl Marx for Carl Lewis (he was miming doing the hurdles & called them all thick for not getting Karl Marx)

 

[Candytuft]

You'd normally have quite a small one though, no? It appears to go all the way across the room!

Yes, it’s odd. But it’s a rag rug. They are made smallish because they get too heavy to work with especially for children. You need a lot of rags, or worn out clothes as well and things were worn until they were beyond repair. Looks to me like a good few put together.

 

[Dogmuck]

Can’t decide if all this ,car boot sale tat, offends me more than the rug.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[jenny2603]

That llama doorstop looks like a right smug fucker as well. Apparently that bottle in her kitchen that looks like rancid oil is live vinegar and the chicken's full of rubber eggs. Why would you need to put anything in the chicken? It's not transparent. Who's going to come in your house and interrogate you about whether your chicken's filled with real eggs?

I will pay her a tenner for a video showing herself drinking out of all those novelty mugs because there's no way you're not pouring liquid all down your front.

This is like an acid flashback. Why does she have rubber eggs in the first place?

"I am too frugal for butter"
"I have a collection of rubber eggs"

Is there rubber butter in the butter dish? Is all the food rubber?

I will pay her £20 for 10 minutes with those mugs and a hammer. Hideous things.

 

[Silver Linings]