Jack Monroe #132 Leader of the Slopposition

[kachoochoo]

My spidey sense is off the scale.

I love Nicola Miller and not just because she is an excellent source for food knowledge and other stuff.

Edit to say she’s talking about an Author and her work, I’ve highlighted that particular tweet which could be misinterpreted if you doesn’t follow her.

Still worth a sniff.

bizarrely, that novel turned up in my Amazon recs today!

anyway, DMs to jezza? completed it mate. how embarrassing. much cringe

 

[Lanie]

The independent and DM have out stories out and there not a "bollock" sausage about her.

 

[LyraBalaqua]

Please God, for all that is pure and holy, please - and I promise, PROMISE that I'll go to church every single sunday for the rest of my life and donate handsomely to the church - please let Corbyn state publicly that she did not ever send this to him and that this is a fake.

Just imagine , we’ll be fizzing, hooting and scampering like mega daft twats!, all over the shop.

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

Thank SPACE you ffs. Also note no date.

He hasn’t even read it also thank you is two words and the t should be in lower case.
ETA. The writing on her dm should be white not black and the blue looks darker .

 

[jenny2603]

Before she was talking as though they had been having a proper chat when she was tweeting "you can't see the DMs between us" (or close enough, I can't find the exact tweet). Now we find out that the DM is just a huge apology? There's 8 references to herself there and that's not even the whole thing apparently

Imagine what horrors lie in those unseen paragraphs. If I were to guess it will have been some drivel about how she got told off in school for writing an essay about socialism, before quietly telling him about her 4.5 GSCEs and of course softly, gingerly but still quietly The Poverty. Poor Jez must have felt like shooting himself by the end of it.

 

[lalalanded]

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Shocked, absolutely shooketh, that he hasn't taken up her generous offer of working together.

 

[Scarletfever]

Never in my wildest dreams did I think we'd be blessed with "Sliding into Jeremy Corbyn's DMs" Jack.

Holy duck. Just when you think she can't out parody herself any further ...

"Solidarity comrades"

Actually,

"I really like Jeremy! I was just having a mental breakdown when I was cosplaying as giving a shite about Anti-Semitism in the Labour party. Lols!"

 

[jenny2603]

Shocked, absolutely shooketh, that he hasn't taken up her generous offer of working together.

He must have been bleeping baffled. What would they work together on exactly? She's off her onion. I feel like randomly writing to the cast of Eastenders to say that I hope to work with them in future.

 

[lalalanded]

He must have been bleeping baffled. What would they work together on exactly? She's off her onion. I feel like randomly writing to the cast of Eastenders to say that I hope to work with them in future.

I'm gonna DM Brad Pitt and offer a future 'collaboration'.

 

[Lanie]

How the fook have we done three threads in three days.

I'm with her I'm fucked!

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Just checked my direct messages on Twitter. The time & date are always recorded at the bottom of every message. She appears to have cut them off so she could have sent that tonight-not that it makes any difference I guess. His reply is the one everyone wants to see. Let me guess:
‘Thanks comrade. Who are you?’

'Comrade, please leave me alone...'

 

[lalalanded]

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Wait, WHAAAT? witch, YOU JUST MADE IT PUBLIC!! OMG, I can't, I just can't.

 

[Jumpstart]

Citizen Jack

 

[Hollaaa]

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If that's a legit question, to be taken at face value, BECAUSE YOU bleeping PUT IT THERE, YOU ABSOLUTE SPANNER.

Edit: high five, @lalalanded!

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Alansbigplate]

I’ve actually been exchanging a lot of DMs with Eamonn Holmes, I know I know ‘keep it on tattle’ I’m such a hypocrite. I have proof but I won’t share them all for privacy reasons. Thankyou

 

[Funsizes]

Has this been posted. I'm literally gagging

 

[crystaleyesd]

THE FACT YOU DIDN'T FEEL IT WAS WORTH A FIGHT OVER PROVES YOU ARE A CENTRIST JESUS CHRIST

 

[Scarletfever]

Legit question, does she actually know he's not the current Labour leader? Why is she doing this??!? I'm soooooo confused. Is she turning into a Corbynista?