Not a fire. A heater.
Jack Monroe #126 Dangling her fl*ps over a Cotswold sideboard like none of it matters
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I’m having a Jack break at the moment (can’t believe I’ve missed her having COVID, bet that was... interesting) but wanted to wish everyone one a Happy New Year for those who aren’t on the food and drink thread! I also hope everyone had a good Christmas and was gifted an abundance of Cotswold furniture and Burberry scarves 
She’d have had the most stressful wedding planning ever, much worse than anyone else who had to plan their wedding. She would have ended up with burnout.
Oh but oh she would have LOVED the opportunity to write angry fiction about how caterers/chair dressing companies/seamstresses/florists gave her tit or refused to take her as a client because she’s a lesbian/has tattoos/is “white trash that breeds”. And none of it would have happened.
Oh but oh she would have LOVED the opportunity to write angry fiction about how caterers/chair dressing companies/seamstresses/florists gave her tit or refused to take her as a client because she’s a lesbian/has tattoos/is “white trash that breeds”. And none of it would have happened.
She would have definitely sung her own first dance song and written the vows for both of them.
Oh god imagine her getting up with a mic before the first dance 
“hi I’m Jack Monroe, cook, author, activist, bride, and accidental conquerer of my fears now when I sing you this song. I haven’t sang in 10 years since I had to sell my piano, except for all the other times I have sang”
“hi I’m Jack Monroe, cook, author, activist, bride, and accidental conquerer of my fears now when I sing you this song. I haven’t sang in 10 years since I had to sell my piano, except for all the other times I have sang”
Four Khaoses and a crowdfunded penultimate forever engagement
Catchy!
Costs a bomb to have an electric heater/fire on for any length of time. Hope she’s done her sums
I just started typing a comment and I disgusted even myself. I’ll duck off for a piss and a sandwich and come back when I can be less of a chaos....
Please please please tell us what your comment was going to be!! I can go and pretend to be an influencer defending herself on another thread to distract the mods??
(Imagine what they have to be doing with something they have a drawerful of to generate enough electricity to power that heater....)
*slinks away quietly*
*slinks away quietly*
I don’t get it 
Why when I look at that is my first thought soap?
Repost after hasty delete due to not squiggling name in reply! This was in response to the DKL video on FB. Remember no-one works as hard as our Jack.
HNY Cabal dwellers!
HNY Cabal dwellers!
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she’s so ridiculous, it just reinforces that she isn’t cut out for a career that involves being on telly. If it’s too much for her for 2 weeks then how would she manage it full time
If she has a problem with long hours and no social life then she's definitely not cut out for TV.
I don’t get it
I believe our learned friend here is speculating that our jack may be utilising her drawer full of adult items (that she may or may not be putting through her expenses to the horror of the accountant Sunday school teacher) in order to generate power for her electric fire. or something like that
once again, this is pure speculation m'lud
eta @Sideboard Bob has explained it much more succinctly than I. a thousand apologies as iirc, you are not fond of essays
Trust me to degenerate the thread...
Presumably not on the same day however
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