Jack Monroe #125 Tweeted it, completed it, deleted it

[Pixieboots]

Laughing out loud, again! I went back and read the whole post with Nigella‘s calm, friendly voice in my head. It’s hilarious.

With one of her winsome sideways looks to camera as she folds a spatula through a big bowl of cake batter:

"It's long been known to everyone in my circle that I only make cakes for those who've had intimate contact with my fandango."

 

[Scarletfever]

Or just buy one. M and S do a very nice chocolate for four. It’s expensive for what it is but it’s the birthday of someone you love and it’s nice so it’s a treat. And small so not so much food waste.

Exactly. Colin the Caterpillar all the way here.

With one of her winsome sideways looks to camera as she folds a spatula through a big bowl of cake batter:

"It's long been known to everyone in my circle that I only make cakes for those who've had intimate contact with my fandango."

I have tears streaming down my cheeks

 

[Walkdengirl]

The funny thing about her suggesting she ramped up flavour to make it so she could taste it - it completely ignores how COVID effects taste/smell. It does it by causing an issue with nerve endings. It isn't like a blocked nose where smell or taste decreases a bit, you literally completely lose the sense. It's disturbing. You can lose one or both.

Making something spicier or herbier won't make one bit of difference. But of course she wouldn't know that because she's making it all up.

Yeah, we've had the loss of taste and smell from covid, you can't taste or smell anything no matter how strong

 

[sioc]

First post here but I've been grunka'ing for ages. I followed her on twitter for a long time, bought a book (tin can cook) and genuinely thought she was on the side of the angels. For those of you wondering why random squiggles don't see through her it's because you don't see every tweet she makes, just the ones that turn up on the feed. I think it was the shimmery eyeshadow bruise that made me google something like "jack monroe annoying" which ended up leading me here. And once you actually start paying attention it's so instantly obvious how much of a fantasist she is.

Like, I don't think she said anything like this straight out, but the vague impression I had gotten from twitter was that she had fallen pregnant through sex work and then raised the child on her own through grinding poverty. Finding out that her son's father has apparently been involved all along and that she seems to be the product of a reasonably middle class family with whom she's still in full contact with was a bit of a shock.

I don't think she makes everything up, I'm very ready to believe that she really struggled with a newborn and accessing benefits and really did go through a tough time putting food on the table which has stuck with her. But the struggling to buy butter after she should have found a pretty comfortable niche with books that sold pretty well? Having every difficult to diagnose illness under the sun and a constant excuse for everything? Elevenerife and everythingitis?

FWIW, I've made the famous peach and chickpea curry and thought it was ok (was like a knockoff sweet chilli sauce, a bit of rice wine vinegar could have turned it into a passable sweet and sour imo).

 

[Missmopps]

I'm off to bed, leaving yous with this from the archives: a charming description of who Jack makes birthday cakes for. Lovely.

View attachment 365237

But she had a C section with SB (as per her scars on the beach body poster) so who else has come out of her fanny..?

 

[Scarletfever]

I haven't squiggled these people because one is a blue ticker and one has 13k followers.

This kind of illustrates the madness we live in. JM's thread on David Walliams being praised by a Time Out critic WHEN SHE HADN'T EVEN READ THE bleeping BOOK SHE WAS WRITING ABOUT?!? Also, she was pillorying David Walliams but somehow that is ok according to this guy (by the way I can't stand DW's books, I tried a bit of one because my SB was interested but I put it away because it was not my thing, but I just got on with my life rather than having a massive online tantrum)

P.S. I am listening to the podcast I linked earlier and it is awful, obviously. JM is a former food bank user - did you know? She also is from a working class background and was raised on spam and corned beef

ETA: jesus christ when asked what people should donate to food bantks she said "sun cream". Wtf.

ETA2: she says her gofundme https://www.gofundme.com/f/donate-tin-can-cook-to-foodbanks meant that 100 copies of Tin Can Cook went to every food bank. This can't be correct? Also this is another "charitable" act she has profited from.

 

[NomDeGuerre]

I haven't squiggled these people because one is a blue ticker and one has 13k followers.

This kind of illustrates the madness we live in. JM's thread on David Walliams being praised by a Time Out critic WHEN SHE HADN'T EVEN READ THE bleeping BOOK SHE WAS WRITING ABOUT?!? Also, she was pillorying David Walliams but somehow that is ok according to this guy.

View attachment 365351

P.S. I am listening to the podcast I linked earlier and it is awful, obviously. JM is a former food bank user - did you know? She also is from a working class background and was raised on spam and corned beef

Did you know Henry Hoover / Tutelage-gate was still in Lockdown 1? Like, that was just after Lingreenie, but somehow feels infinitely more recent.

The very concept of JackTime is so existentially troubling.

 

[ops]

I honestly don't know! I've saved the Kickstarter comments as a pdf should they ever be needed.

Well done! Thank you.

 

[Cookiecookie]

Like a stopped clock she’s occasionally right- I liked the micro porridge oats one as I liked porridge and I commuted so it was a revelation to me to make my own and save some £ on those sachets
Like a lot of people here I was taken in by Jack. If you are a normal person who cares for others, then you will be taken in by a narcissist. I think for me I always imagined her family didn’t have a relationship with her because she was gay and trans. So it made sense that she was alone raising SB because that’s the story of other people I have known.
I think the most shocking thing I have learned here is that she co-parents with sb’s Dad and her family speak to her.

Thinking back, the way her whole back story was worded during The Poverty - as in no initial mention of mummy and daddy etc - that, in her usual cunning way, estrangement was implied.

Poor little Jackie and 'more jam mummy' SB, against the world certainly sounds far more dramatic than a woman with a large, involved family, and an apparently dedicated co-parent

 

[Themaninblack]

I wish we could recruit some of these Kickstarter folk

I think we may have done so.

 

[BlendedSlop]

Thinking back, the way her whole back story was worded during The Poverty - as in no initial mention of mummy and daddy etc - that, in her usual cunning way, estrangement was implied.

Poor little Jackie and 'more jam mummy' SB, against the world certainly sounds far more dramatic than a woman with a large, involved family, and an apparently dedicated co-parent

That is exactly my memory of the initial origin story, too - that she'd been left in the lurch by SB's dad, was estranged from her family and had no support network at all. Of course, it worked in her favour to be deliberately vague about the whole thing, whether to simply maximise sympathy/media coverage or as a way to twist the knife in the ongoing guilt trip she seems determined to send her parents on - presumably for the unforgivable crime of selfishly (in her eyes) deciding to foster and divert some of their attention away from her.

 

[Ouchyfingers]

OT but am watching Bill Bailey's Limboland and he mentions an anecdote of two women conversing and he caught the tail end of the conversation and heard ........ "there's that puddle I was telling you about". He didn't elaborate but I'm convinced it is the magic tardis Mary Poppins bag muddy puddle of Southend however.

I don’t comment much on here but I wanted to tell you lovely horrid people that I love the references on here to Bill Bailey and Futurama and all the other massively geeky stuff my partner rolls his eyes at. You meanies

 

[Alansbigplate]

Imagine if Mom Nigella posted "made a cake for X because he's been in my fanny xox"

Christ.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Mon dieu und pie jesu with a panagia for good measure Alan!!!!!

Also I looked at the rave threads and I love This Country, pls can you ruin it forever with a face swap thankspaceyou

 

[Clickbait]

Mon dieu und pie jesu with a panagia for good measure Alan!!!!!

Also I looked at the rave threads and I love This Country, pls can you ruin it forever with a face swap thankspaceyou

Nooooo please do not taint ‘This Country’ with her wickedness. I have been a good cabal member, I almost managed to keep up this week. I even Googled ‘cabal’ as so many others had said canal!

 

[HotesTilaire]

Insomnia is back. Did a mini grunka through the early days. Long-standing Fraus May recall- so Louisa Compton head of News and current affairs at C4 gave Jack the rona and stole her Brexit can stash managed to move in with Jack in March, make her use up her three month, two person Brexit tin mountain then SHE LEFT and it wasn’t even June?

 

[Nippybippy]

I get it must be frustrating for those of you who “saw the grift” a long time ago, but it’s slowly gaining momentum. And look at Hilaria and Jameela- these things are starting to come out. Also she will upset the wrong person one day.

Please let it be Gordon Ramsey.

 

[Blurp]

Please let it be Gordon Ramsey.

I would pay good money to see him take her apart.

 

[Flash123]

Please let it be Gordon Ramsey.

Someone should send him the lingreenie for his tik tok reviews!

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Lactose intolerance.

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet....

....because they lactose

Boom! Not even sorry