Jack Monroe #121 Fahrenheit 106

[discokebab]

Sorry, on Das Grunk, but I've come from the past to say the Sloppies were magnificent, and as a Foodbank Volunteer Frau I just wanted to say a wholehearted thankSPACEyou for the donations. Cash donations help us pay for fuel for the vans, can enable us to buy in bulk stuff people don't donate and all sorts of other odds and sods. One happy lil Frau.

Also this is a small hill to die on but JM listed a mandarin cheesecake from Iceland in her Covid Nostalgia Haze. Worked at Iceland for 10 years, we never sold one. Closest was a clementine cheesecake sold only at Christmas around the 2013 mark. Through the year we generally only sold three kinds of cheesecake - strawberry, a foresty-fruits type one and a millionaire one. I'm boring myself.

 

[ScamSandwich]

'rona Jack looks better than me when I was in my early twens and completely healthy, waking up after an alcohol-free night. But I was working fulltime, so maybe that's the difference.
Nice bed head hairstyle.

 

[Scarletfever]

Just been browsing her site and stumbled across this monstrosity. Hello cooking bacon, my old friend.

 

[ScamSandwich]

I also wanted to add something to black shiny eye gate. Only now that I have seen a higher resolution pic I feel confident to say it is/was fake, maybe not completely but definitely with added makeup to strengthen the effect. Apart from the usual attention seeking I find this incident even more problematic because,like me, nobody jumps at anyone screaming 'fake' unless one can be very convinced it really is fake because it is an extremely sensitive issue. What it implies is that we all know how much e.g. domestic abuse is swept under the carpet and while this has NOT been linked with domestic abuse, the association is so strong that viewers better not question it. And of course nobody would generally like to make fun of anybody who has got an ailment, which is something the bullying Hausfrauen get accused of.

Regarding illness: not a single soul (and I know many people now who've had it) has sent me a 'rona selfie to demonstrate how weak they are. And nobody has been remotely upbeat and were active on social media. My narc ex sent those kind of pics though and dramatised every mild cold.
Ah well, it is just such a different world to me...I find the JM phenomenon so awkwardly fascinating...

 

[Petelgeuse]

Just been browsing her site and stumbled across this monstrosity. Hello cooking bacon, my old friend.

View attachment 357418

I gently, softly, patiently vomited after looking at this. Seriously though, it's so unappealing. I'd have thrown something like that together when I was at school doing my Home economics lessons and quite rightly have been chastised as a result.

 

[FlashBoof]

@FlashBoof ive just seen that borders are opening!!! I’m crossing absolutely everything for you.

apologies if it’s already been said - got too excited seeing the news and thought of you immediately and I’m on a grunk!

I can’t find anything definite - my destination is still being quite intransigent (and it’s hard to argue they are being unfair, frankly) but there are talks afoot. I have changed my ferry booking to the 29th (the latest I can push it to realistically) and have given myself the extra day to get tested and a result if I need to. Quite the drama, really. Dover looks horrific right now - I must be mad to even consider heading that way!

@Oofadoofa I am not 100% sure about my rights now I have a base there for the last month and I will certainly be doing my best to ensure I can tick as many boxes as possible before Dec 31. Lots of places close as of today (they do Xmas tomorrow over there) and probably won’t open until it’s too late! I am hoping that because I won’t be the only one in this boat (if not ON the boat) that there will be a bit of flexibility - after all, I can document both ownership of property and intent, if not physical presence.

I am being optimistic and trying not to stress because the whole situation is completely out of my control - all I can do is wait and hope that I don’t become the dreaded Non EU applicant in the new year. Bloody COVID and bloody Christmas!

Thanks for the good thoughts, guys.

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Just been browsing her site and stumbled across this monstrosity. Hello cooking bacon, my old friend.

View attachment 357418

Looks like what would have been left of Mason Verger after the pigs had finished.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

I prefer ‘behind the scenes’ Jack if I’m honest.

Thread title nomination!

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

I’m shooketh fraus.

I feel like I need to catch ‘rona to look ten years younger, a tousled hairstyle that doesn’t take me half an hour to get right, and so golden in complexion despite having a temperature of 106.

Is she a medical phenomenon? How can you simultaneously have a sky high temperature yet have a duvet and very thick dressing gown over you? She’ll explain it away with feeling better but there’s nothing FaceTune won’t fix for her.

I’m wholeheartedly with @PoorPatrol she doesn’t and never did have ‘rona. She’s read some first hand accounts and decided to masquerade as her own, and lets not forget the timeline that has never added up, plus Benjamin Button photos - it’s another fishing expedition looking for sympathy and doggos. If it was real we’d have seen the test as proof, remember the hospital waiting photo with the black eye?!

Typing all of that out makes me realise what a pathetically needy little child she is. She’s unhinged and needs intervention from a MH professional - as suspected munchausens is quite a serious issue. If anyone has ever watched Waking The Dead and is an avid fan like me - Season 9, episodes 1&2 there is a story about a woman who has Munchausens by-proxy, and at the end of the episode, her parents explain how as a child she rubbed mud into surgical stitches purely to get infected and more attention and faking falls and plasters all the time. This is totally how I imagine JM to behave behind the scenes, and if Twitter JM is a small snippet, imagine what it must be like living and behind related to Jack? It’s scary.

 

[Lanie]

Just been browsing her site and stumbled across this monstrosity. Hello cooking bacon, my old friend.

View attachment 357418

No you're wrong my neighbours cat threw that up yesterday.

 

[CottageWitch]

It’s like she’s a charity case, this is how I’d phrase feedback to an intern or literal child on that apprenticeship scheme the gov started for them, not a 30 something who is meant to be an expert in this field?

Agreed. I'm pretty sure I've said the exact words "I'd do x and y instead of z but liking your overall idea!" to younger new start colleagues to try and boost their confidence and not crush them with the realisation that their suggestion is crap and would never happen

 

[Mitzymooface]

Louisa has just posted her Covid experience on Twitter sounds like she had it reasonably mildly despite being asthmatic.

 

[LavaFlake]

Agreed. I'm pretty sure I've said the exact words "I'd do x and y instead of z but liking your overall idea!" to younger new start colleagues to try and boost their confidence and not crush them with the realisation that their suggestion is crap and would never happen

Spot on She honestly behaves like the privately educated/fresh out of uni with zero experience yet somehow got the job execs and interns at company's I've worked at. With complete arrogance about their mediocre ideas that have no real place in marketing in 2020.

 

[Petelgeuse]

Louisa has just posted her Covid experience on Twitter sounds like she had it reasonably mildly despite being asthmatic.

Waiting for the JM elevenerife list....

 

[colouredlines]

I also wanted to add something to black shiny eye gate. Only now that I have seen a higher resolution pic I feel confident to say it is/was fake, maybe not completely but definitely with added makeup to strengthen the effect. Apart from the usual attention seeking I find this incident even more problematic because,like me, nobody jumps at anyone screaming 'fake' unless one can be very convinced it really is fake because it is an extremely sensitive issue. What it implies is that we all know how much e.g. domestic abuse is swept under the carpet and while this has NOT been linked with domestic abuse, the association is so strong that viewers better not question it. And of course nobody would generally like to make fun of anybody who has got an ailment, which is something the bullying Hausfrauen get accused of.

Regarding illness: not a single soul (and I know many people now who've had it) has sent me a 'rona selfie to demonstrate how weak they are. And nobody has been remotely upbeat and were active on social media. My narc ex sent those kind of pics though and dramatised every mild cold.
Ah well, it is just such a different world to me...I find the JM phenomenon so awkwardly fascinating...

This is so true. We all have a laugh with her most outrageous lies (chunky Mediterranean arse under a train), but many of her stories involve such sensitive topics. Nobody wants to accuse anyone of lying about domestic abuse, eating disorders, addiction, gender dysphoria etc. It's a very insidious tactic.

 

[CottageWitch]

Spot on She honestly behaves like the privately educated/fresh out of uni with zero experience yet somehow got the job execs and interns at company's I've worked at. With complete arrogance about their mediocre ideas that have no real place in marketing in 2020.

Yep I know the sort! I think the squiggles see her as that breathtakingly naive school leaver who follows you around like a lost puppy and shows you all their work so you can reassure them they're doing great

 

[Minky McMoneypenny]

Waiting for the JM elevenerife list....

Louisa is day 13 today. Sounds like she had a pretty bad time of it. Hope you're fully recovered soon , Louisa, if you're reading.

 

[waffle maker]

Just been browsing her site and stumbled across this monstrosity. Hello cooking bacon, my old friend.

View attachment 357418

I had an actual, physical cringe reaction to this. Poor SB.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

So far we've got Jackie, Vinny, Hattie (the breakdown magazine)...we just need one more and they can start up a barbershop quartet singing about cattos
Jack will also play the piano accompaniment, naturally.

Jackie, Vinny, Hattie... and Peeky? Peeky is not in any way connected to JM, and in no way affiliated with Del Monte or Mel Donte.

 

[Mel Donte]

Bizarre swap suggestion from a squiggle on Jack's 'gravy' recipe. All condiments being interchangeable is some very Jack-esque advice.