Jack Monroe #121 Fahrenheit 106

[squiffle]

Looks like what would have been left of Mason Verger after the pigs had finished.

This reference makes me fizz.

 

[SleepyCatLady]

So do we reckon that Louisa is the one who tested positive but then JM couldn't let her have anything and had to invent her own horrible case of Corona? Because reader, I do.

Babe, same.

 

[Tabitha D]

So do we reckon that Louisa is the one who tested positive but then JM couldn't let her have anything and had to invent her own horrible case of Corona? Because reader, I do.

I was just about to say exactly this.
Having read Louisa’s account, I’m not convinced Jack has had “the rona” () at all. There are too many inconsistencies. Let’s face it, she was howling and squawking and took to the sofa for the day when she had A SPLINTER - so how come, when she’s supposedly on her death bed with Covid, there she is churning out Xmas recipes and tweeting all day and taking winsome selfies.
A possible “tell” is that Louisa said that she had a temperature of 104 briefly. So Jack of course has to say she had a temperature of 104 FOR DAYS and it even went up to 106. Of course she did. Classic “I can outdo you” behaviour.
It just comes across like a desperate attention grab.

 

[Cookiecookie]

But what was this about? Is she referring to SB as her housemate here?!

Hoping for a chaos tbh. We're isolating until we hear results from our childcare bubble's covid test that he had this morning and I need entertainment.

I wouldn't put it past her. She's quite cunning with her wording. I think she copped a bit of flack with her 'black eye/ major head injury' saying SB was having to check if she was breathing, so won't try that scenario again. One thing to ask your kid to fetch a band aid, make a drink, or whatever, another to suggest they have to nurse you through a serious illness.

 

[Oofadoofa]

But what was this about? Is she referring to SB as her housemate here?!

Hoping for a chaos tbh. We're isolating until we hear results from our childcare bubble's covid test that he had this morning and I need entertainment.

Yea but this is Monroe-world, you see she didn't stipulate exactly by what means she told her housemate (could have been by text or by phone), what specific purpose this useful, hefty milkshake information would serve or indeed who it would serve and in whom's house they were hidden. These are not insignificant omissions in the mind of a pathological liar.

 

[Walkdengirl]

I always found tinned fruit to be very high in sugar, more so than its natural counterparts.

And softer , so no need to chew, and we know how she hates texture and chewing

 

[Sentient mirror]

Just catching up, has she had viral yet?

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Reading it now so sorry if this is reductive I’m only on the first few tweets. 60 miles would be Southend to West London surely? duck me tho it she can cycle that you wouldn’t want a kick in the shins off her

 

[Walkdengirl]

I can’t find anything definite - my destination is still being quite intransigent (and it’s hard to argue they are being unfair, frankly) but there are talks afoot. I have changed my ferry booking to the 29th (the latest I can push it to realistically) and have given myself the extra day to get tested and a result if I need to. Quite the drama, really. Dover looks horrific right now - I must be mad to even consider heading that way!

@Oofadoofa I am not 100% sure about my rights now I have a base there for the last month and I will certainly be doing my best to ensure I can tick as many boxes as possible before Dec 31. Lots of places close as of today (they do Xmas tomorrow over there) and probably won’t open until it’s too late! I am hoping that because I won’t be the only one in this boat (if not ON the boat) that there will be a bit of flexibility - after all, I can document both ownership of property and intent, if not physical presence.

I am being optimistic and trying not to stress because the whole situation is completely out of my control - all I can do is wait and hope that I don’t become the dreaded Non EU applicant in the new year. Bloody COVID and bloody Christmas!

Thanks for the good thoughts, guys.

Hull is open is you can get there, and I understand its not as crazy??? Maybe worth a check

 

[Ladderedtights]

It’s...spreading
Someone I follow on Insta

 

[jenny2603]

Actually laughing out loud that Jack tried to one up Louisa's high temperature. She really is the gift that keeps on giving.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

I know it's neither here nor there, but for gossiping ninny purposes only I also do not believe Jack has Covid19. The usual odd story where nothing adds up. If she'd had an official test we would've been shown it because it's Jack Monroe and she just can't help herself. The opportunity was there to say she had it and struggled through it, heroically still 'working' to help the poors. She'll be pulling this card for years to come, just add it to the list. Sigh

ETA and that bleeping 'rona selfie. Just plain ridiculous

 

[KebabGirl]

I think they are both in the bungalow. Not sure about SB. All the long bikes were in Essex not London.
Obviously Jack had to catch it too! I do feel an Xmas style chaos is due - looking forward to the entertainment

 

[LyraBalaqua]

Actually laughing out loud that Jack tried to one up Louisa's high temperature. She really is the gift that keeps on giving.

I wonder if Louisa’s shooting pain in her hip to knee was inspiration for Jack’s tortuous ankle pain , just a thought.

 

[blurstoftimes]

I think they are both in the bungalow. Not sure about SB. All the long bikes were in Essex not London.
Obviously Jack had to catch it too! I do feel an Xmas style chaos is due - looking forward to the entertainment

But it just doesn't add up! Although I can fully imagine Jack faking covid symptoms so she didn't have to look after/give attention to Louisa.

 

[StudleyRoger]

Normally i would agree but i do find it quite interesting to hear people's covid experiences as they are all quite different!

i find it interesting that jack is trivialising it by only calling it the 'rona (so annoying, plz stop). It's almost as if she can't bring herself to type covid-19 as it sounds so serious and she's lying.

The fact that she always words her lies so carefully so she can later deny it (I didn't SAY that) is making me wonder... Is there my any chance a little-known, less-serious virus called something like the Schorona?? If this was ye olde days Jack would definitely be making dramatic references to having "the pox" and not correcting people who assumed she was suffering from smallpox, when in reality she only had the chicken kind.

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

But what was this about? Is she referring to SB as her housemate here?!

Hoping for a chaos tbh. We're isolating until we hear results from our childcare bubble's covid test that he had this morning and I need entertainment.

I really don't want to eat a 'smudge' of anything.
I don't want a smudge on the plate.
I'd even go as far as saying that I don't want it made for me or served to me by a person with a pet called Smudge.
(Apologies to anyone with a 'Smudge' in their lives)

 

[Hollaaa]

I really don't want to eat a 'smudge' of anything.
I don't want a smudge on the plate.
I'd even go as far as saying that I don't want it made for me or served to me by a person with a pet called Smudge.
(Apologies to anyone with a 'Smudge' in their lives)

Vowels are now interchangeable and the word smidge no longer exists. Smadge, smodge and all other variants better get in the OED for 2021.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Yea but this is Monroe-world, you see she didn't stipulate exactly by what means she told her housemate (could have been by text or by phone), what specific purpose this useful, hefty milkshake information would serve or indeed who it would serve and in whom's house they were hidden. These are not insignificant omissions in the mind of a pathological liar.

I’m genuinely impressed by yours and the other fraus’ detective work. I almost believed her, the very start, what was it, 84 years ago? But the Covid Nostalgia Haze tweets (love that description @discokebab !) were just too much. Ok so it’s possible to be delirious with a fever, and that’s obviously what she was trying to convey. But to convey that through the method of Tweeting?! How dumb does she think her followers are?
To paraphrase the ‘article formerly known as “Potatoes“‘, you don’t batch Tweet when you’ve got a 106 fever!

 

[Tabitha D]

I wonder if Louisa’s shooting pain in her hip to knee was inspiration for Jack’s tortuous ankle pain , just a thought.

Oh yes, I suspect she has been taking very detailed notes, so that she can “replicate” the symptoms herself (but worse, obviously).
Classic munchie behaviour.