Omg is that a turkey?!!! I didn’t know turkeys were so tiny (I don’t eat them) and that prawn cocktail 
I just don’t know what to say
I just don’t know what to say
Jack Monroe #119 She says lots of things, many of which are false
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Emoji Jack makes me feel violently ill and that Christmas dinner makes me want to call the police and cry.
At least if she's got COVID she's finally gone viral.
At least if she's got COVID she's finally gone viral.
The prawn cocktail 
how has she managed to make it look so....tinned?! It should easily be looking crisp and fresh!
how has she managed to make it look so....tinned?! It should easily be looking crisp and fresh!
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Chicken. Free range.
Southend ain’t posh. I love Southend, but it isn’t posh at all!
There’s a show on Channel 4 right now called Chefs vs Corner Shop! Right up in Jack’s niche!? Or what COULD be her niche if she bothered her Mediterranean arse!
I would suggest that she has friends in high places but maybe she is calling in favours in return for not forcing these media connections to sample her slop. Slop around the clock on Christmas day leads to plop around the clock and nobody wants to subject themselves to thatThat meal is just awful.
Dry but greasy.
Overcooked but raw.
Anemic but brown.
Full sized sausages in cheap bacon, dry as sticks, but full of fat.
She said the potatoes are cooked for 2 hours at 180 after par boiling. They are still beige.
Carrots and parsnips cooked in mandarin juice, far too sweet. And I wouldn't call that roasting.
Why not steam carrots to keep in the flavour,colour and vitamins?
The gravy has fermentation bubbles on the surface.
The pudding is just..............
There are supposed to be prawns not maggots in the prawn cocktail.
The Marie Rose sauce is beige.
The vegie option is the contents of the little recycling bin mashed up with tinned mandarins.
How the hell does a person that has produced 6 cook books, appeared on TV as a guest cook, makes a living from producing recipes, and is lauded by celebrity TV chefs, make such a God awful mess of a simple roast chicken dinner?
My favorite Father Ted clip. It'll never be the sameIt’s just far away
Hope she was one of the people who stock piled toilet rollsThat meal is just awful.
Dry but greasy.
Overcooked but raw.
Anemic but brown.
Full sized sausages in cheap bacon, dry as sticks, but full of fat.
She said the potatoes are cooked for 2 hours at 180 after par boiling. They are still beige.
Carrots and parsnips cooked in mandarin juice, far too sweet. And I wouldn't call that roasting.
Why not steam carrots to keep in the flavour,colour and vitamins?
The gravy has fermentation bubbles on the surface.
The pudding is just..............
There are supposed to be prawns not maggots in the prawn cocktail.
The Marie Rose sauce is beige.
The vegie option is the contents of the little recycling bin mashed up with tinned mandarins.
How the hell does a person that has produced 6 cook books, appeared on TV as a guest cook, makes a living from producing recipes, and is lauded by celebrity TV chefs, make such a God awful mess of a simple roast chicken dinner?
Imagine being vegetarian or vegan politely trying to plough your way through that sinister brick of old hamster bedding. The host turns to you and asks if you're enjoying it "yes-lovely" you lie and then they tell you it's made from vegetable peelings. I'm not sure what Debretts Guide to Etiquette and Modern Manners recommends in this kind of situation but surely throwing your plate at the wall and storming out would be a proportionate response. I mean it's so rude "Yes, I spent ages making meat dishes for everyone else and just fed you peelings like a guinea pig because you're a bleeping hippy"
Early contender ...
It all looks like the remnants of food left over in the warmers at a bad pub carvery. Been sat there for hours on end and no takers.
I assumed it was something she’s knitted
That was going through my mind too!I’m poor and unhealthy yeahhhh
Have I missed the gravy again?
Please show me the gravy!!!!!
Poor tummy would be in knots trying to purl those 'stitches'!
You’d tit out a snoogly blanky scarf
Is the twist that the dog ate it earlier?
Also I (probably) had Covid (there were no tests) I could hardly walk or speak. Certainly wasn’t tweeting and knitting.
Thread title christmas slop that will make you plop. 
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