Jack Monroe #119 She says lots of things, many of which are false

[heretoreaditall2019]

Many pages behind, but surely this is rice pudding? After Southend constabulary have cracked our case of the century they’re gonna have to look for the missing person in this dish - where the duck are the prawns?!

That prawn cocktail! It looks like tinned rice pudding, what the duck has she done to it?!

Looool someone beat me to it! X

 

[Alansbigplate]

I wish someone would actually ask Jack what her covid symptoms are - she is being uncharacteristically vague. Remember how much detail we got when she had a splinter?

Can’t imagine a weighted blanket would be recommended if you had a temperature or couldn’t breathe easily

 

[Peachy9]

Many pages behind, but surely this is rice pudding? After Southend constabulary have cracked our case of the century they’re gonna have to look for the missing person in this dish - where the duck are the prawns?!

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Looool someone beat me to it! X

Why's the sauce yellow? Has she just mixed motherfucking mandarin juice with mayo?

 

[Fitnessqueen]

So in almost exactly 48 hours we‘ve gone from this to desperate unwellness and positive tests galore. Tis truly a whirlwind.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Did the turkey die of old age? It's wrinklier than Lizzie Birdsworth. Terry the Sparrow looks in better nick than that and he's been dead for weeks.

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This looks like Ginger the mummy who lives at the British museum (obvs probably stolen)

ETA

Spoiler: Spoiler cos mummys give me anxiety x

 

[Ladderedtights]

That bird looks like it’s gone through a disastrous turmeric treatment at a spa.

 

[MooBelle]

Did the turkey die of old age? It's wrinklier than Lizzie Birdsworth. Terry the Sparrow looks in better nick than that and he's been dead for weeks.

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Is it a turkey? It looks like a chicken.
A sad, over cooked and dry chicken. You know that skin is wet and cold.
Also, who the hell does pigs in blankets with normal size sausages?
Ugh. Just Ugh.

 

[Lisbon]

I've only augmented the chicken a wee bit...the eyes and mouth were already there, screaming into the void of lardy gravy. Gravy made with potato boiling water which apparently keeps itself hot for the 90 mins/two hours in which it takes to roast the spuds..

 

[Alansbigplate]

This looks like Ginger the mummy who lives at the British museum (obvs probably stolen)

Surely you mean...Stollen

 

[MooBelle]

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The Veganuary people will not be happy that she is doing Veganuary.
They have pretty much erased her from history...

 

[Scarletfever]

So how come she's mullering using a free range chicken now, instead of standing by her cheapy frozen turkey roast thing?

Probably stealing ideas from her tattle threads. I could have sworn a few people on here suggested that exact thing.

 

[bazzam]

I have a friend who doesn't 'do' Christmas. No particular reason, she just never has.
Her kids all go to their inlaws and she sits and watches telly with a pizza delivery. She loves it.
My youngest mini moo was jealous when i said this is what my friend did for Christmas and asked if we could get pizza too.
I'm thinking that if anyone got served the above for Christmas, they too would be dialling up for a Domino's....

I tried it once it wasn't great, but christmas can bring back terrible memories for some people so totally get it. I think as you get older, you give less of a duck. That seems to work for me so far...

 

[MooBelle]

Surely you mean...Stollen

 

[Falkor]

I have a friend who doesn't 'do' Christmas. No particular reason, she just never has.
Her kids all go to their inlaws and she sits and watches telly with a pizza delivery. She loves it.
My youngest mini moo was jealous when i said this is what my friend did for Christmas and asked if we could get pizza too.
I'm thinking that if anyone got served the above for Christmas, they too would be dialling up for a Domino's....

We're doing something similar this year - we're having a massive Indian takeaway on Christmas day

 

[bananasplit88]

It all just looks so.....rubbery. Vegetable peelings - just why?

 

[Alansbigplate]

I tried it once it wasn't great, but christmas can bring back terrible memories for some people so totally get it. I think as you get older, you give less of a duck. That seems to work for me so far...

Yep I did too. Actually now we say it, Christmas is bleeping tit for some and lonely and this year more than ever so anyone who feels it this year just post I’ll be around in between avoiding my mother - either here or food and drink

 

[Lanie]

"Did you see the size of that chicken?!" Sorry couldn't resist that quote. I personally think the chicken is a bit cremated and will probably be as dry as a badgers arse. Also prawns

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

We're doing something similar this year - we're having a massive Indian takeaway on Christmas day

I always have curry on Christmas day because it's my favourite food. Veggie vindaloo

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

You'd be shitting a brick if you ate that dry as dusty aunties nut roast thing. I also watched the video and thought it sounded like a constant buzz saw or chainsaw. Is Louisa making an escape bid or is Jack firing up the chainsaw for nefarious purposes? Estate Agents beware.
The Southend For Sale Sign Massacre.

 

[MancBee]

That meal is just awful.
Dry but greasy.
Overcooked but raw.
Anemic but brown.
Full sized sausages in cheap bacon, dry as sticks, but full of fat.
She said the potatoes are cooked for 2 hours at 180 after par boiling. They are still beige.
Carrots and parsnips cooked in mandarin juice, far too sweet. And I wouldn't call that roasting.
Why not steam carrots to keep in the flavour,colour and vitamins?
The gravy has fermentation bubbles on the surface.
The pudding is just..............
There are supposed to be prawns not maggots in the prawn cocktail.
The Marie Rose sauce is beige.
The vegie option is the contents of the little recycling bin mashed up with tinned mandarins.

How the hell does a person that has produced 6 cook books, appeared on TV as a guest cook, makes a living from producing recipes, and is lauded by celebrity TV chefs, make such a God awful mess of a simple roast chicken dinner?