Jack Monroe #119 She says lots of things, many of which are false

[Rae Ri]

But it also makes me feel so sad that her middle class and blue tick supporters think it is OK to even suggest poor people eat waste products.

It is really sad. The state of the food is funny until you remember people will try to cook it and why.

Sorry @triangulateme I posted before reading everything and saw I've just paraphrased you here

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

The reason why her cake has burnt is because it has too much sugar in from the mincemeat and ginger ale.

As frauen and herren know, baking is a science and ingredients cannot be messed around with like her other “recipes”. There is a reason why cooks and chefs test, retest and test again recipes for cakes. It is because you need to be so precise with the flour/sugar/egg/ flavour combinations. She has just done her “one and done” thing with egg, flour, ginger ale and mincemeat without thinking (because she doesn’t know) that 2 of those ingredients are sugar-laden.

I know you know this.

I know she doesn’t care about this.

We shouldn’t care about this.

Does she mention it’s vegan ?

 

[bladiesla]

I know some people who save vegetable peels for making stock from and I also know a few die-hard zero-wasters (from who I once got a really nice banana peel curry) that would love the idea of re-using carrot peels in a nut roast.

But I totally agree on how awful it is to normalise the idea that poor people should eat scraps. Zero-waste cooking can be a fun challenge when you can afford otherwise. It's depressing if not dehumanising when you are forced to basically eat out of the bin.

She has just done her “one and done” thing with egg, flour, ginger ale and mincemeat without thinking (because she doesn’t know) that 2 of those ingredients are sugar-laden.

But she's a maverick! Her superpower means that testing is not neccesary.

 

[Captainmouse]

I feel a bit for BB. I can’t imagine Jack will be gracious if she catches Covid off her. She may be an adult with a full understanding of the risks of bubbling with someone who comes into contact with lots of people in a high risk area (as well as having a long list of Covid risky escapades of her own) but I picture it something like this.

Isolation in the crappy bungalow, a crappy play scene 6 (sign up to my patreon to access scenes 2-5 if I can be arsed writing them in between dinosaur naps).

J: you gave me it & I could have DIED, it was the WORST EVER, it was LONG.

L: I think you’re being a tad dramatic, you were completely fine, you were knitting throughout. Nobody could taste the slop. It was okay...Please stop tweeting this.

J: you could have KILLED me. You know I’m immunocompromised. They kept the Nightingale hospital open just for ME, Jackie McMonroe, writer, former activist, slop savant, accidental conqueror of covid fears...

L: this bubble isn’t working.

J: you can’t LEAVE, I could have DIED.

#thread title slop savant
just to say autocarrot not only inserts themselves, but if I type # they insert thread title

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Just a thought:

* Jack initially is working for the express to show the right wing how.... you can indeed “have a Christmas dinner” for £20. According to her this benefitted poor families?
* Jack subsequently acknowledges poor families won’t have read her stuff in the express? So is lucky the editor is allowing her to cross publish to her site

What was the point in working for the express then? Was it just to prove right wing narratives correct? The express will know that after years of readership decline the ones left certainly aren’t the ones rationing out 100g of prawns between a family of 4, so they’ve done it to “prove” how “easy” eating on the cheap is?

Also lol precise and whatever else, yes sweetie the rest of us are sat chain smoking at our desks giving out any old shite! She really does think it’s a national tragedy she’s got to do any work at all doesn’t she

 

[waffle maker]

It is really sad. The state of the food is funny until you remember people will try to cook it and why.

Sorry @triangulateme I posted before reading everything and saw I've just paraphrased you here

This is such a horrible message that poor people should just eat any old crap. Buying all the sticker products like she does is much more wasteful as they often work out more expensive than if you just bought your normal meal things that you had planned. If you are sticking to a budget chucking in random cheap processed food just because it’s on sale is a false economy- buy some butter!

peelings can go in the compost bin.

 

[Captainmouse]

Take four frozen prawns and put in glass. Mix 50ml of cheap yellow paint with four BIG spoonfuls of Asda rice pudding and pour on top. Add one slice of ropey looking Del Monte tinned melon for a Maverick twist. Garnish with kale and plenty of black pepper. Enjoy!
Doesn’t have to be a long post at all?!

is that what it actually is? I thought it was veg peelings, rice pudding, left hanging around to discolour, and some sort of grub, from the garden well I never

whispers rate my plate

 

[Captainmouse]

Slopbot Mel Donte has told me “try my citrus it’s really delitchious” and I can’t breathe for fizzing and laughing

Edit the little shite

Sorry

 

[Scarletfever]

I'm pissed off she's suddenly jumped on the zero waste bandwagon and is determined to destroy it with this vegetable peel monstrosity.

"I've worked really hard to make it zero waste"

 

[Captainmouse]

Does anyone else think the way Louisa worded her tweet was strange? She didn't say she tested positive or that she had corona. She simply said "a positive corona test result".

Maybe Louisa isn't positive. Jack may or may not be. Maybe it's SB since the story started with him/his teacher. So Louisa is just saying "oh great, sharing a house with corona. Happy Birthday to me", kinda..

Maybe, somebody she has been working with has a positive test? And she now has to isolate? Maybe JM/bb haven’t had results yet?

 

[Puddy Muddle]

That meal is just awful.
Dry but greasy.
Overcooked but raw.
Anemic but brown.
Full sized sausages in cheap bacon, dry as sticks, but full of fat.
She said the potatoes are cooked for 2 hours at 180 after par boiling. They are still beige.
Carrots and parsnips cooked in mandarin juice, far too sweet. And I wouldn't call that roasting.
Why not steam carrots to keep in the flavour,colour and vitamins?
The gravy has fermentation bubbles on the surface.

Make the Yuletide graaaayyyyy
From now on air bubbles will be on displayyyyyyy

 

[Captainmouse]

Why would you not even cut them up?! I doubt that she has actually peeled them as they're not even topped and tailed. Who the hell puts an entire carrot on their plate if their name's not Bugs Bunny?

The potatoes look yellow-green like an old bruise. Maybe she's studying them for her next make up masterclass.

And as for the maggot extraordinaire that is the starter.... isn't Marie Rose sauce supposed to be pink? It certainly doesn't look like it's sitting on a base of salad either unless it's leftover from the gifted veg box. That thing on the righthand side of the glass looks like it's well past the time for CPR. I suspect that Flopsy Bunny in the garage has already refused it.

Also by not cutting them, one end will be cooked more than the other, hence you cut things uniform size so they all cook! Not some semi raw some total mush.

santa needs to deliver cooking for dummies to mackie, she has no clue of even the basics, let alone anything verging on complex.

 

[bladiesla]

It's funny how she simultaneously work SO HARD all the time, but also doens't need to test anything because she's got her lil maverick brain with some sort of Midas touch (I don't mean that thing where all she does is turning things into slop). What's the hard work then?.

 

[Puddy Muddle]

Why would you not even cut them up?! I doubt that she has actually peeled them as they're not even topped and tailed. Who the hell puts an entire carrot on their plate if their name's not Bugs Bunny?

Also the tops and tails are excellent for stock. If she's a peel-saver, one would think she'd be a top and tail saver as well. A lot of my peel ends up in compost because there's only so much you need for stock but actual vege ends are a different story. If she hadn't only just jumped on the zero waste bandwagon she would know this. All she's doing is shifting the waste to post-plate as no one's going to eat those ends.

 

[Captainmouse]

Also the tops and tails are excellent for stock. If she's a peel-saver, one would think she'd be a top and tail saver as well. A lot of my peel ends up in compost because there's only so much you need for stock but actual vege ends are a different story. If she hadn't only just jumped on the zero waste bandwagon she would know this. All she's doing is shifting the waste to post-plate as no one's going to eat those ends.

Bib no ones going to eat any of it surely?

 

[Lanie]

That “prawn cocktail” abomination - I can’t get over it. If you were shown that pic, and you weren’t told what it was, there is no way you’d come up with prawn cocktail. It just looks like a maggot infestation with the Queen Maggot on the side. That “grapefruit” is such a weird colour that I would not be surprised if it’s the same piece she used last week, and it has just been mouldering away on one of her sideboards ever since.
How can someone who supposedly does this stuff for a living be so clueless about food presentation?

Do you think ( of course it isn't) that she's actually just winding us up. I fail too see how she can plate that up as a real meal. I honestly don't know a single person who eat it. I sent a picture to my mum and Said planning on making this, this year and she actually said where did you find that recipie and I am glad youre not cooking for me this year ( rude but true)



There is n

 

[Puddy Muddle]

Bib no ones going to eat any of it surely?

Oh, solid point. I withdraw. Does this then make her position 'total waste'? I feel like this is legitimately something she could pioneer.

 

[Mokie]

Does anyone follow Elly Pear on Insta? She’s very much about zero waste, her recipes are often vegan and are tasty.

24 hours later I can’t get the thought of gravy made from blended raw onions, lard and “baking spread” out of my head it’s proper sent me under

 

[blurstoftimes]

i feel really sad about people making this christmas dinner and having a horrible meal on a day that is supposed to bring the much needed happiness that so many people need this year! Even if some of the components are salvageable it'll all be ruined once you pour that absolutely foul gravy all over it

 

[Puddy Muddle]

24 hours later I can’t get the thought of gravy made from blended raw onions, lard and “baking spread” out of my head it’s proper sent me under

What actually *is* 'baking spread'?
* I was about to ask this and then I thought 'for the love of god, just google it!'
** Then I thought wait! I can pointlessly up my engagement by asking the whole world on Twitter!
*** Then I just googled it.
****And left this here for the lolz.

And since this is now a kind of pointless post, I'll add: I'm occasionally bamboozled here by things you guys reference that are foreign to me. Alan? Some guy called Brian BakingSpreadPaddock? Constantly going to Iceland? idk.

But many threads ago, back in the mists of slime, someone mentioned a little thing called Taskmaster, and I don't know what made me google it but I did and oh my giddy aunt, thank you! I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.