Yes, I get the impression that Louisa has had a positive test but does not have symptoms, at least not currently. Lots of people are asymptomatic. Also, some tests are false positives.This made me laugh out loud!!
And this made me run for the bathroom
Does anyone else think the way Louisa worded her tweet was strange? She didn't say she tested positive or that she had corona. She simply said "a positive corona test result".
Maybe Louisa isn't positive. Jack may or may not be. Maybe it's SB since the story started with him/his teacher. So Louisa is just saying "oh great, sharing a house with corona. Happy Birthday to me", kinda..
Jack Monroe #119 She says lots of things, many of which are false
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It's utterly tragic that she couldn't even let the Express menu rest for a week without "reworking" it. She is broadcasting the fact that she half-assed it for the Express. Bet they are delighted.
Problem is she's really fucked it up this time round. That abomination of a meal needs punted into the sun in its entirety. It needs nuked from orbit. It's beyond foul and it looks hideous.
I wonder if she tried to flog it anywhere and got told where to go? Really low engagement on the tweets too. Even the squiggles aren't going to swallow it.
ETA this guardian article from Monday mentions her Christmas cake https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.th...-on-a-christmas-feast-and-also-cut-food-waste which makes me ask - why does she never use any of her old recipes for things like this?
Problem is she's really fucked it up this time round. That abomination of a meal needs punted into the sun in its entirety. It needs nuked from orbit. It's beyond foul and it looks hideous.
I wonder if she tried to flog it anywhere and got told where to go? Really low engagement on the tweets too. Even the squiggles aren't going to swallow it.
ETA this guardian article from Monday mentions her Christmas cake https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.th...-on-a-christmas-feast-and-also-cut-food-waste which makes me ask - why does she never use any of her old recipes for things like this?
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Maybe she's face-tuning the slop now? Next level.veryfondoftea said:
It's all so awful. The gravy and the as yet unexplained pudding art-horror film being particularly disturbing. I start to wonder if Jack is some sort of anti-media art prank, does this end with Saatchi buying the crappy Bungalow and having it taken brick by brick to a gallery somewhere? Are the pay pigs in on it? Is everyone here in on it? What is reality?
I canāt get the flaccid āroastā carrots out of my head. Somehow they disturb me more than scrapings and peelings bin pie.
Coated in tinned mandarin juice too. Were they marinaded in it do you think? And the acid started breaking the carrot down, so it went bendy. Or they were past their best before they were cooked. I suppose when we leave Europe we canāt even canvas the EU to stop the sale of bent carrots.
Coated in tinned mandarin juice too. Were they marinaded in it do you think? And the acid started breaking the carrot down, so it went bendy. Or they were past their best before they were cooked. I suppose when we leave Europe we canāt even canvas the EU to stop the sale of bent carrots.
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This does make me feel a bit better about Brexit. The minute Europe saw that horror published in a mainstream paper and the UK population failing to rise up against it, they'd have thrown us out anyway.
This is a beautiful typo and I thank you for it.
ETA: Now caught up & I see you guys are all over this already. And indeed all over everything. I have nothing to add! And yet keep adding! Why must I be on the other side of the world? Why must I sleep? Why are you all so quick and forensic? Leave some slop for the rest of us!
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That āprawn cocktailā abomination - I canāt get over it. If you were shown that pic, and you werenāt told what it was, there is no way youād come up with prawn cocktail. It just looks like a maggot infestation with the Queen Maggot on the side. That āgrapefruitā is such a weird colour that I would not be surprised if itās the same piece she used last week, and it has just been mouldering away on one of her sideboards ever since.
How can someone who supposedly does this stuff for a living be so clueless about food presentation?
I love this whole post but in particular the term 'performative heaving'. It may be us in this case but it's Jack all over, always.
This is clearly a desserted island. I'll show myself out.
Disclaimer: I, too, have an ongoing takeout container of peelings and vege bits in my freezer to be used for stock, so feel free to take whatever I say with a grain of slop. (I don't leave it open, though. I AM NOT AN ANIMAL.)
I am actually familiar with Joseph Beuys work. Not the Fettstuhl but he did some weird things with a dead hare and honey
Jack do NOT get ideas. Hares are a protected species and sadly in decline around the UK.
Why would you not even cut them up?! I doubt that she has actually peeled them as they're not even topped and tailed. Who the hell puts an entire
carrot on their plate if their name's not Bugs Bunny?The potatoes look yellow-green like an old bruise. Maybe she's studying them for her next make up masterclass.
And as for the maggot extraordinaire that is the starter.... isn't Marie Rose sauce supposed to be pink? It certainly doesn't look like it's sitting on a base of salad either unless it's leftover from the gifted veg box. That thing on the righthand side of the glass looks like it's well past the time for CPR. I suspect that Flopsy Bunny in the garage has already refused it.
so true. Every single part of the meal is ruined.
Her cake is missing so many things that would make it nice.
See also yucky fingers, and her boasting that she burned it and covered the burns in sugar. This is her job!
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Does the full tattoo read "this burnt offering will kill you"? "Botulism from my filthy nails will kill you"? "Your soul evaporating when you read my tweets will kill you"? I can't quite make it out.
I don't think Jack knows what the word dredged means.
Gifted my hole.
Gifted my hole.
Jack's veiny claws look like they belong to a septuaginarian
Christ alive. Her festive menu...it all looks a bit tit, really. Just cook a bleeping roast, and stop twatting about with adding citrus fruit to everything. Just...no! If you want to pad out a prawn cocktail, how about a couple of rounds of buttered bread on the side?
itās a forensic fuckup.
itās a forensic fuckup.
For someone who makes money form selling food photos in her lil webshop, she sure knows how to make that meal looks bad. (I mean, in 2020 all the food bloggers should by now know how to make things at least look tasty)
Iām afraid I must tell you that it didnāt take her 2 weeks to work out blending raw onions since this is already the basis for her sauce in her ākindanaraā in Veganish. I must also confess that I made this, pretattle, as I was curious to see whether it would work, a bit like putting your finger in a Bunsen burner to see if it is hot. It wasnāt anywhere near as bad as I expected and did produce a reasonably creamy sauce but gravy is not creamy. Plus it served half of what it claimed and I had to make a last minute load of garlic bread. Anyway, the boiling raw onions is not new for her.
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