Jack Monroe #117 Exit through the grift slop

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I really like shoes. Clarks is sensible and good quality and pay a reasonable price but not glamorous. Russell and Bromley is out of my price and solely for looking at longingly. I earn a reasonable wage and shoes are a treat but Russell and Bromley are not ever realistic for me.
 
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gosh i bet jude law will see this article and think to himself 'i wish i'd just sat down and let Jack Monroe see redcar, my career could have sky rocketed if we'd become friends'
 
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This is Jack's face. Her real, normal face.
She isn't a 12 year old pixie boy child.
 

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It’s so... brown. I have never seen a noodle soup that’s uniformly brown before.
 
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Omg!! I’ve never seen this! That ‘sauce’!!!!!
 
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This is Jack's face. Her real, normal face.
She isn't a 12 year old pixie boy child.
And there's nothing wrong with it. All her face tuning makes me think that deep down she can't stand herself. It's really quite sad. If she wasn't exploiting others and lying all the time, I'd feel sorry for her.
 
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My fave knitting story was about a female councillor (can’t remember where I’m afraid) knitted a green and red scarf. She did one green row every time a man spoke in a meeting and one red row every time a woman spoke. She barely needed the red wool.

I can’t remember where I read this sadly...
 
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I'd never actually watched it before, but was feeling strong this evening.
I have now turned my whole body inside out from cringing.

Does she actually say that she likes leftover lasagne in a PIE?
 
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Oh wow, “now that you’ve stopped talking”.
WHAT. It’s like a wee school girl who has just overstepped the familiarity line with their favourite teacher.
That white sauce is awful, a true crime and I would have LOVED to have known the producers reactions to it.
 
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I wonder if she'll start calling herself an "Ambassador" for Del Monte, like so may influencers do when they're paid to flog a product.

She's the Henry Kissinger of pineapple slices. With this tinned mandarin, she is really spoiling us
 
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If it isn’t the same everytime, then you are obviously doing something different. And if she really understood flavours, she would be able to ascertain what.
 
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It can't be that good if she's not greedily eating it out of the pan like a ferocious lion.
 
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Nadia's biography have me proper eye wets, Jack could do with reading what it's really like to grow up relatively poor
 
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This is Jack's face. Her real, normal face.
She isn't a 12 year old pixie boy child.
It's amazing that her superfans don't see this, or perhaps they do, but then it's even more incredible that there isn't more of a point made about someone who claims to be 'body positive' whilst simultaneously photo-shopping the absolute fuck out of herself online. Why do people protect and defend her bullshit, it's weird..
 
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Tanks Jack
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#militaryroundtheedges #daddysarmymedals #fuckingtory
My eyes have just glazed over reading all that again. From memory, the tank chat went on all afternoon and evening, then she did a flounce when a squiggle dared to mention the problems caused by asparagus farming. Jack had used it in some dish or other during BB's cooking lessons (whatever happened to them by the way?) and didn't appreciate one of the plebs raining on her parade of having Done Something Nice. Then in the process of stomping off to bed in a mard she somehow gave herself an ouchy foot on some broken glass (again). Just another day on the Monroellercoaster.
 
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I used to walk to work through Soho v early, pre street cleaning team, so I’ve met this dish before...on the floor, up the walls, splattered in a Pret A Manger doorway, sometimes even in a discarded takeaway box... nice for Jack to take it home with her
 
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Ah asparagus and fancy cheese, BB’s contribution #gifted. The beginning of the end of the £20 shop.
 
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An underrated bit of the DKL horse spunk lasagne episode that I love is Matt asking ‘how much trial and error’ is involved in her ‘unorthodox’ recipes and she says ‘one and done’ in a really smug fashion. Matt’s tone saying ‘really’ suggested that he was both unimpressed and not surprised.

Entire segment is passive aggression personified from ‘now you’ve stopped talking’ to ‘no I’ve never done that before in my life, Matt’ (on boiling lasagne sheets-presumably asked for the audience’s benefit). I think he would have preferred to have a competition winner in with him.
 
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