Jack Monroe #117 Exit through the grift slop

[BeautifulTrauma]

From 25 minutes in I haven’t stopped cringing

-Matt saying ‘you can’t make a worse white sauce than I made on tv a couple of weeks ago’ Jack...yes I can.
-‘I’ve just been rushing ahead and now you’ve stopped talking’
-‘You can use any mushroom’. Proceeds to go through about ten different mushrooms
-‘You can use any flour or milk. Even plant based or buckwheat flour’

How the actual hell is she a cook?!

Lol. No words required.

 

[Ellabella]

DKL was so, so, so bad yet she genuinely thinks she emerged from it a gifted TV presenter. I might be being mean here but I don't understand why we have to be forgiving of her terrible performance because of her autism. She should still be able to do the job properly that she was paid highly for. Chris Packham, for example, has Asperger's yet he is able to do his job well without constantly making excuses or underperforming.

 

[LyraBalaqua]

From 25 minutes in I haven’t stopped cringing

-Matt saying ‘you can’t make a worse white sauce than I made on tv a couple of weeks ago’ Jack...yes I can.
-‘I’ve just been rushing ahead and now you’ve stopped talking’
-‘You can use any mushroom’. Proceeds to go through about ten different mushrooms
-‘You can use any flour or milk. Even plant based or buckwheat flour’

How the actual hell is she a cook?!

Lol. No words required.

View attachment 345336

It was a hilarious yet beautiful ‘what the actual duck is that ’ moment.

 

[sloplunchhater]

View attachment 343235I‘m sorry but who gives an actual duck??

Are they rare because anyone who owned one chucked it in the bin because it was tit? That's where mine went just before I found you guys

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[bladiesla]

The way she was flapping about in that kitchen on DKL didn't really spell 'professional food person'.

Compared with for example Nadia form Bake Off who now has a tv and book career from her first appearance on tv in 2015, it is strange she doesn't seem to have progressed over the years.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Grunkaing but have to say- first time watching DKL @Montrachet last vid, where she says to Matt- now you’ve stopped talking after she lists mushrooms Matt says very quietly “that’s enough” at around the 29min mark, and Fraus -send tena lady supplies to me ASAP thank space you

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Has anyone tried the white sauce thing?. I know from experience if you don’t cook the flour properly you can taste it later. So obviously it’s bollocks.
I also have to use gluten free flour. It’s actually slightly trickier than ‘normal flour’. I hate the way you can just substitute with anything and it’s the same (I imagine also dairy free milks react differently too).

 

[MooBelle]

He’s really good at acting, Matt. He lifts the spoon of corned beef chilli to his mouth, he moves the spoon around in the bowl, he SAYS it’s really nice. Don’t see that spoon go in his bouche, though.

I'm addicted to the Food Network at the moment and binge watching every Christmas food programme on there.
Halfway through the set of Matt on the show he did with Lisa Faulkner from about 8 years ago and it is a joy. They are smooth, polished and they bounce off each other nicely.
He does tease her, but in a brotherly way and Lisa gives as good as she gets.
They both help each other when it is their 'bit' and both are happy to stand back when the other is speaking.
Jack really should have watched it before starting on DKL.

 

[Switchstreetz]

No bothers here @HotesTilaire.
I haven't seen a single one of her tattoos that I think is nice.
They all look 'Angry' if that is at all possible!

Probably trying to get it done asap after she's been sat in the chair for two hours mothering on about her ADHD/autism/arthritis brain or saying she could probably give the artist the best tattoo ever, because she did this wicked stick and poke on her mate's ankle in 2008 and really how hard can it be?

 

[CausticYoda]

Given that none of the ex GF's has spilled..
I'm going to guess at licking her own eyebrows down and circular breathing like a trumpet player.

Going back a bit sorry, but does anyone seriously believe she is capable of shutting up long enough to administer cunnilingus?

 

[HotesTilaire]

Has anyone tried the white sauce thing?. I know from experience if you don’t cook the flour properly you can taste it later. So obviously it’s bollocks.
I also have to use gluten free flour. It’s actually slightly trickier than ‘normal flour’. I hate the way you can just substitute with anything and it’s the same (I imagine also dairy free milks react differently too).

I tried her “just put it all in together” to make a roux. Reader, I binned it and started again.
My own fault, I’m perfectly capable of doing it the right way but was hoping for a short cut.

 

[LyraBalaqua]

Has anyone tried the white sauce thing?. I know from experience if you don’t cook the flour properly you can taste it later. So obviously it’s bollocks.
I also have to use gluten free flour. It’s actually slightly trickier than ‘normal flour’. I hate the way you can just substitute with anything and it’s the same (I imagine also dairy free milks react differently too).

....and she had the bleeping nerve to state that once we’d done it her way we’d never go back

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Going back a bit sorry, but does anyone seriously believe she is capable of shutting up long enough to administer cunnilingus?

She's a cunning linguist but she's a pillow princess!

 

[Rae Ri]

Hello, new here (first post ever on tattle) - came to look after a mention by man behaving dadly and never saw his thread as distracted by you lot because JM had been irritating me on Facebook and because you're all absolutely brilliant. I'm still stuck back reading posts from May and made a cake yesterday from recipes you were posting back then but finally thought I should join in real time and say hi particularly as I've been randomly liking posts like a creepy lurker... This thing moves bloody fast though, I feel like I only rolled my eyes at the 'caught catnapping' photo yesterday (?) but it's already history here, thankfully I don't have Twitter or Instagram!

 

[MooBelle]

No DKL retrospective would be complete without her bursting onto the live cooking scene with this. 25 minutes onwards - look away at 30 minutes.






P.S. Thinking about it, we should have had a 'Best DKL Clip' in The Sloppies. "Have you ever grown beans?" award-winning gardener, Adam Frost.

Oh god, it really is as bad as I remember.
The way she flaps her hands because no one is talking to her and so she starts to tantrum.
And, my favourite bit (and a true testament to Matt's professionalism) when Matt desperately starts to fill in the silence and basically just lists all the vegetables in the world.
The gallery must have been going crazy shouting in his earpiece.
JESUS CHRIST MATT FILL FILL FFS!!
Matt..'Um asparagus, spinach, Jane what other vegetables can you cook'
Jane 'all vegetables'
M' do you put olive oil on them?'
J 'no'

Oh and thankspaceyou for reminding us of the true horror on Matt's face when realising this isn't a piss take and she genuinely meant the lasagne to look like that

 

[Captainmouse]

Are they rare because anyone who owned one chucked it in the bin because it was tit? That's where mine went just before I found you guys

My mean idea was for people to send them to her publisher, sans postage

 

[Harrybosch]

“Dame Viv Spotted ALIVE In Southend Chip Shop!”

With regards to whether JM wants to be celebrity or an activist, it looks like it’s another THEN/NOW situation.

View attachment 345227
(ETA This is from THAT Express interview, it’s turning out to be a bit of a goldmine!)

Does inveigle not imply deceit? So she uses her recipes to fraudulently talk about poverty? Sounds about right.

 

[veryfondoftea]

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Those ‘fishies’ are very expensive cat toys. My husband had some kind of episode and bought the small version of it, it was £20 so god knows how much this big one was

 

[Harrybosch]

Personally, I thought this early TV series when he worked in the River Cafe was sweet. The dialogue between him and the woman off camera worked well. I know some can’t stand him but this kind of TV cookery show was revolutionary and showed he had the confidence and TV presence which paved the way for all he has done since.

I've outed myself as a JO fan before. Regardless of whether anyone personally likes him or not, he, like all other chefs that have thriving TV careers, is good at communicating. He can convey his enthusiasm for food, and makes cooking look achievable and enjoyable. I don't like Nigella (sorry, cabal). She's too verbose for my liking and I'm never that keen on the 'sexy' cooking thing, BUT I completely understand why she's successful. She's charming and has an easy, relaxed manner. She loves food and cooking.
And that is pretty much true for all TV chefs, regardless of whether you like them or their recipes personally. The only exception in my opinion is Heston Blumenthal, but I guess his skillset is pretty unique. Personality of a wooden plank though.