Jack Monroe #115 I can’t work out the timeline

[JuliaGulia]

It isn't so much her tragic dress sense, it is the way she is so smug about the jacket that even I can see is horrible.

And I have no dress sense However hard I try I end up looking like a locum social worker.

I am not a social worker locum or otherwise.

It's okay @FrumpyCat - I'm reliably informed that I look like a substitute art teacher
I am not.

 

[Cookiecookie]

Surely she's not going to skin those floppy old Asda bangers and make a burger with them? Hope for SB she's picked up something better

You know she hasn't though

We do sausage meat patties sometimes, but I do only buy decent sausages. I've no idea what she's got against actual mince though. It's so often found in her beloved y/s section - especially the organic stuff as it's normally a bit pricey for a lot of people so ends up short dated.

I'll not take the piss out of his writing/spelling. My daughter's ranges from lovely and neat to deranged maniac on the same page. And if it's a quick little drawing she's writing on, it's always messy too.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

For someone so timid and squeaky, she's so massively full of herself. Every word is designed to say...."aren't I brilliant?"... without actually saying it.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Glamour, the like of which hasn't been since a young Su Pollard went to lunch with her accountant.

On a mini incy-grunk, so not sure where this will land, but, wow, the way your mind works!!!

 

[Pocahontas]

Have we got her as band member on the list of jobs? Warning she’s attempting to sing, but just before this gig...she lost her voice! Shocker, Jack gets ailment before work
This was her pre-glasto set, she was just a humble busker. Her voice over is posh jack, meets Billy and it’s awwwright geeeza!

Busking with Billy Bragg – Jack Monroe's Do Something challenge

When the opportunity came along to busk with one of her musical and political heroes, Jack Monroe couldn't turn it down• Watch Billy and Jack busking in Camden• Billy Bragg's tips on busking

www.google.co.uk

Ah, Christ. I’ve not watched that before

Love it when she tosses the lyrics printout aside with a casual, ‘New England? Cool. Don’t even need the words for that.’
And then proceeds to ask, while shiftily looking at the crowd, ‘On my own? On my own?’

 

[holliebollie]

What do people think will actually happen with our Jackie? I feel like any time there’s a chaos lull with her, chaos on the thread happens. Will she:
A: eventually get sprung by something bigger than the article and just disappear... maybe get a job and delete all Bootstrap related media
B: continue with her many, MANY ‘jobs’ but either gets someone to manage her SM/stops being so cringe and this thread fades into obscurity
C: she continues like this for ever and we have to weather the cycle of thread/Jack chaos for all eternity

 

[jenny2603]

What do people think will actually happen with our Jackie? I feel like any time there’s a chaos lull with her, chaos on the thread happens. Will she:
A: eventually get sprung by something bigger than the article and just disappear... maybe get a job and delete all Bootstrap related media
B: continue with her many, MANY ‘jobs’ but either gets someone to manage her SM/stops being so cringe and this thread fades into obscurity
C: she continues like this for ever and we have to weather the cycle of thread/Jack chaos for all eternity

I think we'll remain in this quite boring phase for a while because she's had a fright with The Scotsman article. It was easy to dismiss us as vile trolls but when actual journalists start sniffing around it's another story. She won't be able to keep it up forever so I suspect we'll get a big attention seeking chaos at some point. I am actually expecting another Twitter flounce (and clean up job) but essentially until she gets a wealthy sugar mummy or very lucrative, life changing gig I think we're stuck with her.

 

[Silver Linings]

What do people think will actually happen with our Jackie? I feel like any time there’s a chaos lull with her, chaos on the thread happens. Will she:
A: eventually get sprung by something bigger than the article and just disappear... maybe get a job and delete all Bootstrap related media
B: continue with her many, MANY ‘jobs’ but either gets someone to manage her SM/stops being so cringe and this thread fades into obscurity
C: she continues like this for ever and we have to weather the cycle of thread/Jack chaos for all eternity

I think and hope that she’ll get married and just settle down. Then she’d be looked after and not have to shake her jar at people, maybe have a few pet projects that would be mildly irritating but not harmful. Just bob along quietly like she was a few years ago.

ETA - I got chastised for this before, i’m not saying people can’t be happy alone and look after themselves, but Jack obv. can’t and that’s ok.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

Apparently this is a real product & I don't even know where to begin...

 

[ChickenPorridge]

What happened with the burger pic?

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Wait wait wait!!! In Bonny Scotland, square sausage is a thing! The question, when ordering a roll n sausage, is often "link or square". There's Lorne Sausage too, which is a more ....porky.... square sausage.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Wait wait wait!!! In Bonny Scotland, square sausage is a thing! The question, when ordering a roll n sausage, is often "link or square". There's Lorne Sausage too, which is a more ....porky.... square sausage.

Please, don’t bring up lornsagne.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Wait wait wait!!! In Bonny Scotland, square sausage is a thing! The question, when ordering a roll n sausage, is often "link or square". There's Lorne Sausage too, which is a more ....porky.... square sausage.

Yeah but this one is called squig

 

[Silver Linings]

What happened with the burger pic?

It was the second part of her insta story accidentally put on twitter. It never actually got put on instagram so that’s now disjointed. Maybe she meant to cross post? Radio silence on twitter. Very odd.

 

[Lanie]

She had a great chance to get some high quality protein in the boy in the form of lean beef mince, and instead she chose salty, processed meat as well as the bacon on the burger. There’s just no excuse for it. She already said that she’s not poor. Stop being a tight bleep, freeze the sausages for another time to put in a ragu or something, and get him a proper bleeping burger, Jack.

Poor little sod.

She took an espresso machine to Glastonbury?
Bit strange considering she doesn’t drink coffee

Actually I could have just stopped that sentence at “bit strange” couldn’t I?

Where the fook are the plugs? Any festival I went to had no ducking plugs?!

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Yeah but this one is called squig

Oh i geddit now! Some entrepreneural squiggles getting all up in a nation's niche!
ETA.... I'm such a silly sausage

 

[Alansbigplate]

Where the fook are the plugs. Any festival I went to had no ducking plugs?!

It’s stove top so she put it on a camping stove it’s not electric

 

[Blurp]

This is one of my favourite Jack articles! 'morning boys' makes me die. Also this bit where she gets angry and defensive at the thought of people possibly thinking she's fancy for taking a proper espresso maker to a festival.

I thought she wasn't a chef so who did she take with her then?

ETA beaten to it, and again, and again....

 

[SweetTransvestite]

Wait wait wait!!! In Bonny Scotland, square sausage is a thing! The question, when ordering a roll n sausage, is often "link or square". There's Lorne Sausage too, which is a more ....porky.... square sausage.

Omg...I do love a square sausage

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

It was the second part of her insta story accidentally put on twitter. It never actually got put on instagram so that’s now disjointed. Maybe she meant to cross post? Radio silence on twitter. Very odd.

I cannot wait until she gets fleeting. I am LITERALLY on the edge on my seat waiting for her first fleet.