Is this my real life? Is it just fantasy?
Caught out on my lies, my escape from reality
Urban Decayed Eyes, look up to the skies and see-eeee
I'm just a poor girl, from a rich family
Because I'm
Easy come, easy go
Sometimes high, sometime low
Any way the Cabal knows
Doesn't really matter
To me
Give to meeeeeee
[plinky plonky piano intro in the style of Les Dawson]
MAMA! I need more jam
Put a Smeg up in my hall, pretend it's not really there at all
MAMA! I neeeeeeed some cash
Gotta spend it all to make myself feel flash
MAMA! Ooo-oo-ooo-oooh (Any lies, then we know)
Now you've made me cry
Clawing, screaming out there -WHY??????
Carry on, carry on, as if I don't have arthritis
Too late, I neeeed some fun
Sunbathing, I'm just fine
BUT MY BODY'S ACHING ALL THE TIME
Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go
Gotta piss and eat and try to hide the truth
MAMA! Oooo-oo-ooo-oooh (All your lies, the Fraus know)
I hate being caught on lies
I sometimes wish I'd never been caught at allll
[JM hurls herself around with a Burberry scarf wrapped around her sports bra, teething rings rattling on her wrists in a disconcerting version of Kate Bush doing Wuthering Heights - possibly retitled Fifty Slops of Shite]
I see a little dusty husk of a girl
Where's my shoes, where's my dress, gonna do the Fandango
Viviennes and Emins ,very, very precious to me
(Where'd your cash go?) How the duck would I know?, (On a sideboard?) Oh, no, no, no, magnifico-o-o-o
I'm just a poor girl, nobody loves me
She's just a poor girl from a rich family
Give her some cash so she can buy SB's tea
Easy come, easy go, won't you let it go?
Like duck, witch! No, we will not let it go. (Let me go!)
Like duck, no! We will not let it go. (Let me breathe go!)
Oh, heck, no! We will not let it go. (Let me go!)
Will not let it go. (Let me go!)
Will not let it go
Never let lies go, oh
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Oh, mama, jam now, mama bread now (Mama JESUS, let it go!)
The Cotswolds has a fancy newer sideboard for me, for me, for meeeeeeeeeeeeeee
So you think you can catch me and laugh at my eye?
So you think you can leave me and not live my lies?
Oh, BB, can't do this to me, BB
You'll never get out, you'll never get right outta here
(Ooooh, yeah, oooooh yeah)
Money only matters
Anyone can see
Money only matters
Money only matters to meeeeeeeeeeeeee
Anyway, the Tattlers know.
[gong] (£2479.99 of Patreon donations, now please put a tenner in my butter bowl, thankyou and duck off)