Jack Monroe #110 Hands up, who likes me?

[MancBee]

What happened to the quiche?

Will we ever find out? Was it the elusive recipe that Jack made she wasn't entirely happy with? Would she own up to it even if it was awful?

 

[kachoochoo]

how do you get from, "ooh, I might have some spicy pasta with me mussels," to "ooh, i know, PEARS"? clearly being up in the eaves is addling her brain. more so than usual, obv

 

[jenny2603]

What happened to the quiche?

The eggs saw what happened to the mussels and began throwing themselves at the walls to avoid meeting a similar inedible fate.

 

[Hollaaa]

Anyone for mussel and pear quiche?

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

The eggs saw what happened to the mussels and began throwing themselves at the walls to avoid meeting a similar inedible fate.

Can you imagine, a soft, softy, soft duck egg balanced on the top of that?

 

[JoyceDivision]

Can you imagine, a soft, softy, soft duck egg balanced on the top of that?

 

[Billybellend]

So obviously the posh chair is the latest in her ‘I’m going to show you an expensive item and then spin a load of lies about how I acquired it.’

Tonight on the wheel of providence: a second-hand shop exactly three miles away and no means of transport but a pescatarian bodybuilder. Clap. Clap. Clap.

And her trusty wheely trolly. Oh...

 

[Froggies]

Holy bleeping tit. Mussels and pears?! MUSSELS AND PEARS?! WTACTUALF?!

I love mussels. They do not love me so I no longer eat them but a seafood pasta is where they belong. Not in a stew with bleeping pears.

She’s got to be having a laugh now right? I like a food abomination (pineapple on pizza, sultanas in curry - my lovely nan used to make this in the early 90s and it was delicious. Honestly.) but mussels and pears?! How did she get there? How?!

And the words she uses to describe eating it? You know when people are lying they launch into a big story with lots of side roads to try to cover their lie? Jack does that with words to cover the fact she didn’t eat a single spoonful of it.

 

[hydeist]

I swear all she ate was boil in the bag beef

I'm a few pages back right now but

WHAT THE duck IS BOIL IN THE BAG BEEF

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Can you imagine, a soft, softy, soft duck egg balanced on the top of that?

I bet she could.

I don't really know what to say about that dish, it isn't even just the mussels/pear thing, the whole lot clashes . Chickpeas and spuds chucked in with mustard and pears? A blended chickpea/leek/onion/pear sauce? And then salt and vinegar as well, WTF?

I'm a few pages back right now but

WHAT THE duck IS BOIL IN THE BAG BEEF

Something preferable to mussel and pear stew.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

I'm very upset that 'mussels and pears' isn't urchin Jack's cockney rhyming slang and is, in fact, a real abomination. It looks like the dregs in the plughole after washing up that someone's poured the contents of an ashtray over. The attempt to pull a classic Nigella sexualisation of food yet again falls flat. Nobody thinks the image of hyenas horking mussels is sexy you gibbering ninny. I am printing that whole Twitter thread for my lever arch files as we speak, she won't get away with it lads.

 

[Lilkiwibabe]

First time poster here, still making my way through the last few pages! Just went to look at her Twitter page and I’ve been blocked! Never interacted with her in my life so who knows what I’ve done to be banished

 

[Emmapism]

Do you think she's trying to market a bunch of recipes for people who have COVID and can't taste anything?

 

[Walkdengirl]

DISGUSTENG

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Table manners of a bleeping pig.

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How many spare slices of bread were there fraus?

That is the most disgusting thing she has ever cooked (and that's saying something). Just looking at it makes me feel sick.

Why did she have to eat it out of a pan? I've never eaten straight out of a pan like that, even when camping.

She truly is the Mrs cropley of Southend
She really cannot cook can she?

 

[Lastoftheflumps]

Holy bleeping tit. Mussels and pears?! MUSSELS AND PEARS?! WTACTUALF?!

I love mussels. They do not love me so I no longer eat them but a seafood pasta is where they belong. Not in a stew with bleeping pears.

She’s got to be having a laugh now right? I like a food abomination (pineapple on pizza, sultanas in curry - my lovely nan used to make this in the early 90s and it was delicious. Honestly.) but mussels and pears?! How did she get there? How?!

And the words she uses to describe eating it? You know when people are lying they launch into a big story with lots of side roads to try to cover their lie? Jack does that with words to cover the fact she didn’t eat a single spoonful of it.

It’s like some new Cockney rhyming slang

Barnet fair. Brassic

Put that in your sky rocket.

Me old china.

Mussels and pears.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Well, that's me off up the " mussels n pears" to bed , @traumatised sideboard , in me pyjama traazers. Tomorrow just can't come soon enough

 

[Walkdengirl]

Seeing that utter monstrosity of a meal, I have never been happier to be (100%) vegan.

If I was offered that, I'd be joining you!

Are they a cook? Yes? Oh well move along then, nothing to see here.

Buy them how to eat by nigella, or real fast food by nigel Slater

 

[Narner]

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‘Like a hyena’ ‘Lascivious noises’

OMG so apologies for quoting agin from further back but duck OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF WHAT THE duck IS THAT?!

I get triggered (low level now thanks to years of therapy!) by a lot of what Jack does, as I also grew up with a narc parent ( to those who shared their experiences), and also I love food so the various abominations also trigger me but more my gag reflex. THIS THOUGH! I can’t. I think this is what might actually break my brain (and I have had multiple breakdowns! )

Ahem ok I think I might be over it now but it is still not ok. I can’t understand why anyone would EVER MAKE THIS FFS.

(De lurking as finally on a bleeping thread that isn’t locked ) love you all you horrible bullies xxx

 

[Walkdengirl]

Wondering about the quiche..... if the one she made was crustless could it have still been called a quiche?

Just because she is clever with words and if it can’t then she could she claim that she never ACTUALLY made a quiche.

I don’t really know why I give a about a quiche though.....

They sell crustless ones in the shops, she made something and it was a direct copy of a slimming world recipe which she said she hadn't heard of (despite having a pinch of nom cookbook which we saw last week)

 

[kachoochoo]

see I'd just have them with garlic butter and chips, it's not hard, but moules frites is far too fancy for her!

she really thinks that she needs to be seen to throw random things at "luxury" ingredients to make them suitable for her audience. it's truly baffling.

I swear to god, 50 years from now, I'll be in the nursing home, waving me cane around, yelling, "she served MUSSELS with PEARS"