Jack Monroe #110 Hands up, who likes me?

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Mussels belong in the sea end off. Boke.

Why doesn't she ever just make a basic jus, one that is tried and tested and edible.

I mean when you see another chef make something they make it but tweak it to fit their style, perhaps because her style is basically what do I have the absolutely does not work together and sling it all into a cold pan to simmer for the rest of the year.

Honestly I really dont get this has being food what the masses would go mad for.
 
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I was hopeful when I heard about the mussels. Had visions of them quickly sautéd in olive oil with fat or skinny cloves of garlic and some tinned tomatoes, to be eaten with some long or whatever shape of Pasta. Came to find THIS.
 
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I'm wondering what quirky take she will apply to a quiche. She'll maybe add oats and crushed cornflakes to the pastry and the filling will be cheese, baked beans, desiccated coconut and melted opal fruits.
(Honestly it is so hard to think of food combinations that are too ridiculous even for her - the little scampering goblin hyena urchin that she is).
Duck egg quiche, maybe?
 
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Onion, potato, leek, pear, chickpeas, mussels, vinegar and mustard.

Is this not a classic example of an eating disordered person making a concoction SO horrible, they won’t want to eat much?

And yet, in true Jack style, it’s so so delicious she can’t help but gorge on two generous portions although we all know Jack has some funny ideas about portion sizes.
 
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it's sooooo easy to make mussels delicious (sorry vegetarians!). you could make a quick coconut broth with aromatics and serve with steamed rice! or just chillies and garlic with pasta!

These disgusting meals she produces are the result of the dangerous mix that is her lack of food knowledge, extreme arrogance in never questioning her ability, her narcissistic need to always come up with something 'new' for praise and attention and also the fact that her adenoids are so bleeping swollen she probably can't taste anything anyway
 
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There is no way this is actually being eaten. It is just for some tattle fodder.
What's the betting she's bored & played a little game of 'Blind Man's Buff' in the west-wing pantry & that was the result?
She is absolutely just bleeping with us. Surely? Guys, GUYS?!!
 
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Oh I'm with you there 100% - I was so dependent on my parents when I had it to help me do relatively simple things. Even gripping a pen for a day at school was hard work! It makes you curse tins and jars, doesnt it!? Ironically, we need more people who have arthritis designing long life goods 😂
The best packaging I've ever encountered is the Tetra-Pak type that the cat's food comes in. It's pre-folded and perforated across the top, so you fold it over each way, then it's wide enough to grip, so it tears off in one clean strip (or you cut it off with big scissors at the thinnest part of the crease), then a gentle press either side makes it pop open. And the sides are strong enough that you can fold it closed again and it fits on a fridge shelf perfectly. The most difficult bit is popping the envelope sides up, which you can do with a spoon handle, as the glue isn't too strong, there's a spoon handle-sized gap and it works every time if your fingers won't play ball.

Oh, that's a convoluted explanation.

These.

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Lip service to disabilities annoys me. Great, you've put in a ramp. No, that doesn't mean you're done. And no, disabled people are not always going to be your customers/clients; they can just as easily be your staff. Try having a policy for them as well, eh? No, not just for sick leave or fire drills, I mean for how the office is laid out, where the milk and teabags are kept, don't forget the photocopier - where's the paper kept? Who loads it? Is there a tall stool beside it for longer repro jobs? A surface to wrangle reams of paper and their wrappers? Somewhere to hang their coat? What about your dress code - is that enforcing damaging footwear requirements?

Actually ask the disabled staff to have input from the outset, not when it's all decided and then they're seen as just being negative towards the project and the person responsible.


(This is my secondary specialist subject, as you can probably tell).
 
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This is going off on a tangent, but if you want a reasonably priced shellfish meal, this sugo alla vongole is £3.50 from Iceland, serves 3 with a 50p packet of spaghetti and tastes like something you'd be delighted to eat in a good Italian bistro.
 

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This is going off on a tangent, but if you want a reasonably priced shellfish meal, this sugo alla vongole is £3.50 from Iceland, serves 3 with a 50p packet of spaghetti and tastes like something you'd be delighted to eat in a good Italian bistro.
They do great vegan food as well. Particularly the food warehouse stores.
 
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Fuxache. Shane Ritchie’s drinking sheep’s anus and pigs vagina on telly, and it looks nicer than that mess.
 
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Mussels belong in the sea end off. Boke.

Why doesn't she ever just make a basic jus, one that is tried and tested and edible.

I mean when you see a

Are we all braced for Viral Jack tomorrow and the inevitable high from all the attention?
[/QUOTE]
I have been thinking.

What happens if it's like that bit in Gavin in Stacy when Mick's on the news and they tell everyone and then they watch it and he only says one line. 😳
 
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I cannot stop thinking about this mussel car crash.

1. If the onions were slow and soft, when would one use quick and hard onions?

2. Where was her base (No complaints about the omission of this word btw)?

3. The flavours were (in no particular order) caramel, salt and vinegar, mustard, pepper, salt. WTAF.
 
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Tonight I have showed my hubby some of the food screenshots you just shared, he has listened to me since before DKL mutter to myself about what I have read hear and sometimes what I have told him. Well to say his face was a picture is a massive understatement and words along the lines of chef/ cook no way 🤮🤮
 
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They certainly do once Jack been creative with them.

Are we all braced for Viral Jack tomorrow and the inevitable high from all the attention?
Suggest we should be braced for vomiting Jack - that mussel abomination 🤮
 
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I cannot stop thinking about this mussel car crash.

1. If the onions were slow and soft, when would one use quick and hard onions?

2. Where was her base (No complaints about the omission of this word btw)?

3. The flavours were (in no particular order) caramel, salt and vinegar, mustard, pepper, salt. WTAF.
I know, I feel haunted too. It's time moderate food writers and bloggers spoke out about the extremist in their midst. This cannot go on.
 
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i've only just recovered from the image of cod cooking in its own defrosted juices and now i'll be thinking about pears combined with mussels for the next week...bleeping thanks a lot Jack!!
 
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IMAGINE Mom writing on Twitter, “I made this without a recipe book, just out of my wild brain! Get me!” Especially when it looks like the scrapings of a rock pool 🤢
 
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i've only just recovered from the image of cod cooking in its own defrosted juices and now i'll be thinking about pears combined with mussels for the next week...bleeping thanks a lot Jack!!
There is something about the word 'juices' in this context which haunts my being.
 
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