Binge and purge, innit?
That's an...omelette?Slimming world do a crustless quiche or they did back in the day. Consisted of egg. Cottage cheese and probably broccoli. A weird abomination that you fling in a bowl and bake in the oven.
Just googled. They still do.
When I had arthritis, I often had to fill out questionnaires about my progress but I always remember one of the questions being 'can you open a jam jar which has previously/already been opened?' I'll have to dig out some of the questions because they really do make it very clear how absolutely limited your mobility can be when you have arthritis in your joints. Opening tin cans would have been a no go, for sure (ETA: for me/based on my own personal experience).Why would somebody struggling with mobility - such as if they had, well, Arthritis - want to cook with the MOST difficult foods? Tins are evil.
They're too heavy to carry home. They require grip strength to operate a tin opener. They require finger strength, grip strength and wrist/elbow/arm strength to open ringpulls. And when your hands give out or the ringpull snaps, you're back to trying desperately to hold the handles of the opener together tightly enough whilst your palm feels rather like your feet do when you're standing on Lego, grasp the twisty bit with fingers and a thumb that are screaming for mercy and then your wrist, elbow and shoulder are burning with the effort required to turn the cunting thing.
And then you don't quite manage to get the top off and you slice your thumb open trying to prise it up with a knife.
It’s not quite an omelette.Binge and purge, innit?
That's an...omelette?
i was about to make the same toddler comparison. Reminds me of when my daughter used to come home from nursery with a craft project involving an old egg carton with some feathers stuck on and proudly declared she made it all on her own. No shit.View attachment 323982
Canal comrades, how often do you turn to a recipe book when you cook? I only really use recipes when I'm baking because that's a science. For a supposed cook to boast that they 'didn't even consult a recipe' is like a toddler declaring they did a poo in the potty all by themselves.
Oh and £4 for mussels that yield very little meat - that is such an economical dish (not). Personally, I'd rather pay £3.75 for a 500g tub of 'not on offer' Lurpak than £4 for enough mussels for 1 greedy Jack.
When I had arthritis, I often had to fill out questionnaires about my progress but I always remember one of the questions being 'can you open a jam jar which has previously/already been opened?' I'll have to dig out some of the questions because they really do make it very clear how absolutely limited your mobility can be when you have arthritis in your joints. Opening tin cans would have been a no go, for sure.
Fuck me the whole thing is genius but this bit ENDED me! Love it! Thank you very Matt much xxSo you think you can catch me and laugh at my eye?
Buying Tin Can Cook for somebody lacking energy is an absolute joke. The only recipe I can find in that book that would be suitable for someone short on energy isn’t even a recipe (making pasta in a mug with kettle water). I work full time with chronic illness (an ability many don’t have) & if I’m having a flare it’s often impossible for me to do anything in the evening if I’ve made it into work. At those times what you need is either food you’ve made and freezed on better days in anticipation of exhaustion or something very easy/low maintenance (beans on toast is always a winner for me). The last thing somebody that is bloody exhausted/sore/nauseated/whatever else needs is to blend a tin of carrots or rinse some spaghetti hoops and standing by a hob for 30 minutes whilst your chickpeas disintegrate (as Matt said on DKL ‘you like a long slow cook don’t you’) is a) impossible and b) enough to tip someone over into the depths of despair.
Bring it on. My absolute fucking specialist subject is autoimmune disease and the genetic issues that manifest in connective tissue/systemic diseases- in terms of medication, treatment protocols, exactly what particular Trusts fund compared with NICE guidelines, the structural elements of the musculoskeletal system, inflammatory pathways and generalised bullshittery.Careful, y'all are gonna set her off on an arthritis flare-up. We'll have to sit through all the tried-its again. Won't somebody think of the Fraus
True, the chances of two people being willing to eat it are remote.It's just dawned on me that, if that concoction was 2 portions, she actually did herself a favour by eating it all at once (lasciviously or not), because those mussels would not have been OK to reheat again.
Oh I'm with you there 100% - I was so dependent on my parents when I had it to help me do relatively simple things. Even gripping a pen for a day at school was hard work! It makes you curse tins and jars, doesnt it!? Ironically, we need more people who have arthritis designing long life goodsMr D hovers in the background whenever I'm cooking because he knows anything related to jars or tins is going to get passed to him without a word. There is no way on earth I can do them, even when armed with various gadgets, a strong tablespoon, rubber gloves and 40 years of experience. As for still sealed jars, fuck that forever - the only way I've ever got them open in the last 15 years is by stabbing the fuckers with a pointy knife (and only then if he's still nearby to open them and not hiding from my arthritis induced rage).
she is copying Mum Nigella again. She mentioned LARD dripping down her chin on Twitter a while ago. Also the greed hyena is an ode to Nigella, without the hyena though.It certainly seems intentional.
Perhaps BB isn't there & this is the relationship bat-signal?
ETA. Also, see references to lascivious noises & softy, soft soft soft pear juice dribbling down her chin.
Someone phone the police, that is fucking criminal! Best call the Coast Guard while you're at it.
https://giphy.com/fSAyceY3BCgtiQGnJsI want to share too, because the alcohol talk from JM can really make me see red. My good buddy, someone I’ve grown up with (we’re both still in our 20s, just barely), has been fighting for his life throughout this pandemic. He has cirrhosis and is on the brink of liver failure, but he’s managed to get sober through a detox centre and he’s doing okay-ish. I know some sober people who enjoy a non-alcoholic beverage occasionally, but mostly for ceremonial reasons (ex. having an AF beer at a baseball game). But maybe there is a market there, who knows?
I have my own experiences using alcohol to self-medicate as a mostly non-speaking autistic kid. But I’ve never reached a point like my friend did. I’d never write a woe-is-me + sorry-I’ve-been-awful article announcing I’d been sober for a week in a national (well, international) newspaper. Maybe try the sobriety for a year and then write about some insight? Maybe save that story for an AA meeting? Maybe get into confessional poetry because I don’t understand who this article is serving?
I feel hypocritical here. I don’t want to be a gate-keeper and say someone doesn’t have a drinking problem or can’t share their experiences, but when it comes to life-threatening addictions you do it responsibly! I also can relate a bit if JM is autistic and struggles with speaking in high pressure situations. I dunno. I can’t shake the feeling that it’s been exaggerated, that this article could’ve easily been about recognizing a problem with drinking and wanting to start the year sober, like so many people probably feel after New Year’s. Alcohol is an addictive substance. It’s addictive for everyone. It’s not uncommon to feel like you need to give up booze to gain back control.
That article was the first time I rolled my eyes at this performative mess. Only seems worse with the casual mention of relapses (itty-bitty ones) on Twitter. If my friend mentioned a relapse I’d be on the phone or jumping a train to go see him, even in this pandemic, because it might be the thing that kills him.
I once sent my friend a picture from a party last year, because I’d run into a mutual friend of ours. There were bottles of alcohol in the shot. He called me and asked nicely that I never send him any photos with booze visible. I don’t think he’d enjoy buttery AF mulled wine with his beet burger hockey pucks and bowls of unruly slop.
Declaring you’re sober to the whole world one week into recovery (if we’re using the AA alcoholism is a thing framework) makes about as much sense as a “food expert“ never making a quiche before.
(I can hear the objections : “It was to hold myself accountable! I want to share my journey and shed light on this issue! Visibility! What?! It’s not like I’m making a movie about it. I passed on selling the movie rights decades ago. For the sake of my family. Would you do that? Stay out of my business, you know, the personal life I bang out across my many Guardian bylines.”)
That would definitely give you the bluesiesGave me bum bum wets
I'm wondering what quirky take she will apply to a quiche. She'll maybe add oats and crushed cornflakes to the pastry and the filling will be cheese, baked beans, desiccated coconut and melted opal fruits.Wondering about the quiche..... if the one she made was crustless could it have still been called a quiche?
Just because she is clever with words and if it can’t then she could she claim that she never ACTUALLY made a quiche.
I don’t really know why I give a about a quiche though.....
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?