Jack Monroe #109 Jack Monroe’s network bandwidth is low

[Veronicaaa]

Sorry - this made me genuinely laugh out loud so need to share again. It has it all - her health, her fervent regret she doesn’t have proper letters after her name, and her word spewing habit. Bravo, Jack,

And all to say "half a teaspoon of turmeric (optional)".

 

[blurstoftimes]

In the absence of Jack tweeting I think we are long overdue a another comparison of Jack vs other professional food writer's instafeeds

 

[Oofadoofa]

I've just been on a twitter grunka and came across this from 2017. Oh, imagine the movie!!! Imagine how much more fantasy could be packed into the sequel if it included the past 3 years' shenanigans.

Who would play the lead? Jack, of course, because she is probably a RADA trained Shakespearean actor too - night classes during her firefighter period.
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If this complete fantasy was true she’d have it on her bio.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I've just been on a twitter grunka and came across this from 2017. Oh, imagine the movie!!! Imagine how much more fantasy could be packed into the sequel if it included the past 3 years' shenanigans.

Who would play the lead? Jack, of course, because she is probably a RADA trained Shakespearean actor too - night classes during her firefighter period.
View attachment 322099

We all know that this is likely BS, but imagine the coven cinema date! It would be bloody hilarious! If they made it now, we might even be included in the storyline as the anonymous nasty mavens/stalkers/bullies/ninnies

 

[Harrybosch]

Ok, Lord knows why I am aware of this stuff, it's not my job, but these days there are pretty strict rules about invoice payment for companies registered in the UK over a certain size. Partly to protect small suppliers and partly because slow payment of invoices can be seen as an attempt to massage profit/loss figures for a particular reporting period, which I believe (IANAA or L) is a very dodgy practice, possibly illegal. So, invoice payment needs to be reported on every reporting period and will also be part of any financial audit.

Unilever, to take one example, is an international company, but appears to trade in the UK with a UK Ltd subsidiary company. Unilever UK Ltd. It's accounts are filed at Companies House and I've only skim read them, but pretty certain they are trading at a level that would make them eligible under the reporting rules:

https://find-and-update.company-information.service.gov.uk/company/00334527/filing-history - report here for the forensically minded among you.

The rules for reporting and payment are here:

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/831507/payment-practices-performance-reporting-requirements.pdf

They are complicated, but essentially it's very unlikely that Unilever have standard payment terms longer than 90 days and they will be paying undisputed invoices within that time period. I would hazard a guess that it's more like 60 days these days, for various accounting reasons, and that most invoices are paid with alacrity because averages of payment times are taken under the reporting rules, so the more you pay quickly, the more time you get over disputed invoices or tricky cases.

I would imagine, for a smallish (to them) invoice of £10k (to pick a random sum of money), would be paid quickly and without fuss. However, it's worth noting that the countdown only starts once an invoice has been submitted formally, so if there's a considerable delay in payment it's reasonable to assume that one cause could be that the supplier failed to submit an invoice for work done in a timely fashion.

Thus concludes both the most boring post of the day and your early(ish) morning accountancy briefing. Provided by NO SORT OF ACCOUNTANT AT ALL. I am just accountant-adjacent.

TL,DR - There are rules that big companies have to adhere too. Casual late payment of invoices just doesn't happen anymore. Once more, I am not an accountant.

I can confirm all of this. I'm a freelancer who gets commissions from several very large companies. They always pay within 30 or 60 days from invoicing, but I, of course, have to invoice. Standard practice is to invoice once I have submitted my final piece of work and it has been reviewed (typically 7-14 days from submission). So, if I work on something for three months, I then submit, wait for a week or two, check that it's been approved/signed off, send it invoice and get paid within 30-60 days.

The Hellman and DKL work both had very clear and specific final days. It is possible that part of the contract was to submit recipes, for example, but even then, JM should have been able to invoice within a couple of weeks of final filming.

All of this leads me to believe that [insert Jimmy].

 

[Smeghead]

I've just been on a twitter grunka and came across this from 2017. Oh, imagine the movie!!! Imagine how much more fantasy could be packed into the sequel if it included the past 3 years' shenanigans.

Who would play the lead? Jack, of course, because she is probably a RADA trained Shakespearean actor too - night classes during her firefighter period.
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I’m imagining a type of Fraggles movie, with talking mice hiding under the bramble bush drawing up plans to get that pesky cat Cooper, and a cheeky fox that eats through hose pipes to cause arguments between the humans and scampers into the crappy bungalow for tea and scones every time Jack goes out to do her weekly shop.

 

[Harrybosch]

maybe she hasn’t been paid because they were So chaotic she was in breach of contract?

I'd imagine a large company would pay a relatively small commission (to them) regardless if someone has been in breach of contract. I have worked alongside people like this before. The company pays them and never uses them again. Especially someone who has a large social media following. It's not worth the potential hassle and negative sentiment someone like her could generate.

 

[Veronicaaa]

In the absence of Jack tweeting I think we are long overdue a another comparison of Jack vs other professional food writer's instafeeds

In a thumbnail, that pic on Jack's insta grid on the right, second from bottom, looks like a plate of delicious hummus with lots of lovely stuff on top. Then you remember what it actually is (pasta done in old beetroot water with a floury cheese sauce) and it would make you weep.

We all know that this is likely BS, but imagine the coven cinema date! It would be bloody hilarious! If they made it now, we might even be included in the storyline as the anonymous nasty mavens/stalkers/bullies/ninnies

There would have to be a subplot where she goes all Lisbeth Salander to triangulate us.

 

[jenny2603]

I've just been on a twitter grunka and came across this from 2017. Oh, imagine the movie!!! Imagine how much more fantasy could be packed into the sequel if it included the past 3 years' shenanigans.

Who would play the lead? Jack, of course, because she is probably a RADA trained Shakespearean actor too - night classes during her firefighter period.
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Whoever got that part would be a shoo in for an Oscar. Loads of potential for powerful howl 'n' claws as menacing bailiffs and crazed trolls surround the crappy bungalow. Then there's the devastating SHE LEFT. The adorable hose eating fox, some sideboard sexiness for the dads and the drama of Jack in a skip. Not to mention all the product placement opportunities.

Jack's story getting the Hollywood treatment would be just incredible. I'm seeing scenes of Dickensian London and Jack leading a crowd of urchins to parliament for a mass wail so powerful the Evil Tory PM falls to his knees crying "oh God what have we done" before promising to listen to Jack's Healthy Start vouchers idea. At the this Jack is carried aloft through the streets of London by a jubilant group of chimney sweeps and street urchins.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Oh I thought the twitter silence might have meant she was actually getting down to work but nope, she's just been using her colouring in pens again.

 

[Minky McMoneypenny]

"Hey, Caroline, yes you, admin person that I pay to do my admin. You know how I keep on getting asked which recipes are good for slow cooker. Could you do a spreadsheet that lists all my recipes, include columns to identify anything particular about the recipe (eg slow cooker friendly, gluten free, vegan) so that I can easily sort them into lists when asked."

"Oh Jack, but how would you fill your evenings if I did that?"

LOL, @Veronicaaa beat me to it!!

 

[Silver Linings]

Tried to add her colouring in pages but they’re so big they broke Tattle. Great minds @Veronicaaa

 

[JoyceDivision]

Oh I thought the twitter silence might have meant she was actually getting down to work but nope, she's just been using her colouring in pens again.


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[hollowhusk]

She also seems to dislike comparisons to Miguel Barclay, just for future reference

Miguel Barclay has a range of recipes on the Asda website, they are great. You add the shopping list from the recipe to your online shop and then have the ingredients and go online and get the instructions!

 

[Silver Linings]

Someone with arthritis who acknowledges her joints are worse at this time of year hand writes all of this? I am fortunate enough to have no joint problems and if I hand write more than a shopping list my wrist hurts.

 

[Raydog]

I mean lads we should have realised she was a compulsive liar as her name isn’t even jack I caught a glimpse of calculator lady replying yesterday to say ‘you’ve misunderstood my point entirely you can’t claim to be frugal and pay out ££ for items that do the same job for cheaper and also if u have the cash for food then leave the yellow stickers to those who need them’ went back to screenshot and lo and behold posts had been deleted ! Gutted I was too busy at work to be on the ball with that one

 

[Minky McMoneypenny]

Oh I thought the twitter silence might have meant she was actually getting down to work but nope, she's just been using her colouring in pens again.


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I can imagine the tongue out concentration that title bit must have taken. For a fleeting moment I thought that SB had produced it for her.

 

[Silver Linings]

I mean lads we should have realised she was a compulsive liar as her name isn’t even jack I caught a glimpse of calculator lady replying yesterday to say ‘you’ve misunderstood my point entirely you can’t claim to be frugal and pay out ££ for items that do the same job for cheaper and also if u have the cash for food then leave the yellow stickers to those who need them’ went back to screenshot and lo and behold posts had been deleted ! Gutted I was too busy at work to be on the ball with that one

Going to be a wee bit pedantic and say her name is Jack.

 

[Raydog]

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Going to be a wee bit pedantic and say her name is Jack.

Is it really I’m actually shocked

 

[Silver Linings]